Passenger Revision
by Selene Starblade
Summary: Well, after consideration and a considerable bit of gaposis, I've decided to go back and rewrite much of this fic. Enjoy the new version!
1. Book 1, Chapter 1: Is that really Ranma

She surfaced suddenly, aware only that something was horribly wrong. She looked down at herself, confirming one of her greatest fears/hopes.... She had never known which, exactly. She wasn't herself anymore. Immediately, she tried to figure out what could have caused this. The last thing she remembered was...

was....

sitting down...

at her computer.........

to write.

To write.....

...what?

Then she noticed that she was both soaking wet, and reflexively treading water. There was a funny-looking fat man standing on the grass beside the spring, babbling something at her in Japanese. She didn't know Japanese. Hang on, spring?

A cursory glance confirmed that she was, indeed, floating in a spring of some sort, a neat round hole in the muddy turf, with grass drooping over the edges as though threatening to jump in. The water itself was surprisingly clear. With the sun out like this, she could see all the way to the bottom. When she looked behind herself, she caught sight of something long, brown, and furry. With a reflexive thought, her tail- _her_ tail, not something else- came up and landed in her left hand.

Oh crap. She stated, and the fan man stopped, looking slightly surprised.

It was quite ironic really. She could no longer remember this one, yet she somehow knew she had found it the most fascinating of all before this had happened. The videos, the manga- a collector she was, and one with haphazard, genre-spanning tastes. It was one of the odder titles, she was sure, but what, exactly, that meant was beyond her reach. Still, she knew this much.

I'm in an anime.

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Passenger

Chapter 1: Welcome aboard.

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Starblade

Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI.... and not following stereotypes.

Warning: This fanfiction borrows many ideas shown in other fanfictions. Hopefully, those who wrote them, upon reading this, will find my interperetations satisfactory- I don't intend to exactly copy anything. I have the greatest respect for those whose fanfictions I have DLed onto my computer, as they are, in my opinion, the best of the best. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I don't want to own them. BUT THEY MADE ME DO IT!!! WAAAAAAAH!!!! (enters Souun Tendou Cry #46: I've been forced into this against my will even though I find myself mysteriously enjoying it)

Key:

= English

" "=Japanese

[ ]= Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ }=Chinese

= internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha

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She climbed from the pool, noticing the cotton gi she was wearing clinging to her uncomfortably and beginning to itch. She had never tried swimming in a gi before, but if she had, this would have been a very good reason not to again, as far as she was concerned. And why was her balance all weird? Perhaps it was her brand new tail, which was already giving off a faint wet-fur odor, but something told her there was a bit more to it than that.

Nearby, a panda perched as if glued to the top of a bamboo pole sticking out of one of the many pools of water nearby. The fat man, wearing an old, baggy green Chinese Communist uniform looked at her a moment, then spoke.

{Aiyaaah! Mr. Customer look very strange for victim of Nyannichuuan! Does Mr. Customer feel alright??} Immediately, the guide mentally cursed himself. Of course the customer didn't feel alright! Nobody ever did. But then, in a way, this was just in following with the pattern set the first time he'd seen someone fall in the spring.

She stared at the Jusenkyou Guide a moment before responding. "Customer" and "strange" she had caught, but the rest of the Japanese sentence was beyond her reach. Well, she _had_ always wanted the opportunity to learn the language... right?

Ah.... I'm sorry, I don't speak Japanese well at all.... Would you mind explaining how I got here?

The Guide did a double-take as the panda nearly fell off of its pole. Both were positively baffled. The guide waddled up to the bizarre looking girl, while the panda hopped from pole to pole, with agility that looked completely ridiculous on an eight-foot ball of fur.

But, Mr. Customer speak Japanese before fall in spring.... the Guide began, thouroughly puzzled. Nothing like this had ever happened before... what was going on, exactly? Every once in a while, the springs would turn out something a little weird, like the Spring of Drowned Piglet creating a full-grown boar form, or the Spring of Drowned Cat leaving someone still capable of speech, but this was... several steps further up the weird scale, and climbing quickly.

That's very interesting, but... the girl looked at herself a moment, then puzzledly at the guide, I really don't think "Mr." applies to me.... She thought a moment more about how her body felt, and then finished. No, definitely not a "Mr."

The panda leapt down from its pole, managing to narrowly avoid landing in yet another pool by digging the claws on its hind feet into the muddy soil, and waddled over to the girl, coming up behind her.

A shadow passed over her, settling especially deeply on her face as she stood there facing the guide.

She blinked twice. Do you ever get the feeling that you're being monitored? She paused. Or that you're about to do a double take?

What you say?

She put one index finger to her lips, and made a shushing noise. Shhh. I think someone's watching us. She glanced first to the left, then to the right. Then, she began scanning the bushes, looking for telltale signs of movement. Perhaps the shack over there?

The guide looked up at the panda staring at the girl, and sweatdropped.

Yes. Other Mr. Customer is watching. He come here with you. The guide indicated for her to turn around.

With an uneasy feeling, she turned slowly, her vision scanning across bamboo, trees, grass, a cliff, some pools...

And a lot of white fur.

Slowly, carefully, she craned her neck back, scanning up the mass of fur, and got a fairly good view of the face of a panda at close range.

.....urk....

She sincerely hoped she was correctly remembering that pandas were NOT disposed to claw, bite, or otherwise mangle hapless people. Just in case she wasn't remembering correctly, she froze in place. Wild animals were not to be toyed with or provoked, she was sure of that much.

Aheh....... Hello there...

"Graa! Grouph urgh owph!" The animal exclaimed, towering over her and waving its claws menacingly.

AAAAAAAAA- WHAM

The panda whipped the sign out of nowhere and slammed it into the girl's head without even realizing it had done so.

[Stop screaming, boy! You're acting like a little weak girl!]

Obviously, the full impact of what was going on had not quite reached the panda yet.

Unexpectedly, from the panda's point of view, all the response this got from the girl was that she fell over unconscious, with a rather large knot on her head.

The panda sweatdropped.

[Get up, boy, stop fooling around! You've taken much harder than that before!] :flip: [Take it like a man, and get back up!]

"Aiyaah, Mr. Customer, no think Mr. Younger Customer is fooling.... Something wrong, very tragic...." The guide trailed off, crouching down to look more carefully at the inert girl.

It was at this point that the panda paused, and held up its arms to stare at them. Then it looked down at its belly. Snarling, it turned on the guide.

[What the hell happened to us?!?]

Dao El sweatdropped again. "Only now you notice?"

Shortly thereafter, in the hut where Dao El, the unfortunate Juusenkyo Guide, lived, a young man was to be found. He stood about five foot five, and had black hair. More or less typical for a Japanese. His eyes were a stormy blue-gray color, and he had the highly fit, though not especially bulky, build common to high-grade martial artists everywhere. His name was Saotome Ranma, and he was perched atop an unconscious lump of panda. He was also thinking.

Saotome Ranma was thinking hard. And he was thinking seriously.

Some would say this is not something of which said young man is incapable. Fortunately, Ranma wasn't aware of them at all, and hence could disregard them entirely with little difficulty.

Something was wrong. He could feel it in his.... bones? No, not in his bones. He could feel it in his head. As though there was a pressure there, in the back of his mind, held back for some reason. He had to figure out what it was... he had an eerie feeling it was related to why he had totally lost control of her... HIS body after falling in the spring. And then blacking out after she... HE got out. Damn, but pronouns were going to be confusing for a while.

He remembered a meditation technique taught to him by a wandering medical student, as a matter of fact, the only meditation technique he knew. As far as his Oyaji was concerned, meditation was for sissies who would rather talk than fight. Fortunately for him, Genma had been off pilf- er, I mean, obtaining... food when the young man had happened on him a few years ago. The student had sensed the ki imbalance caused by Ranma's Neko-ken training, and had taught him the meditation to help him keep it under control. Now he merely ran screaming from cats, instead of instantly lapsing into the Neko-ken. The meditation was used to relieve stress and encourage freedom of thought. And that pressure felt almost confining. He just hoped it would work.

As his body slipped into sleep-function, Ranma's mind coalesced in his imagination. He stood there and looked around his psyche (Of course, he didn't call it that. To him, it was just that place in his mind. You know, THAT place.), and noted that everything seemed pretty much the same, with the strange monuments where the strange monuments had always been, and the trees where the trees had always been. Everything was just right, as usual. Except for one place. He could see, just at the limit of vision, a hill.

A hill that hadn't been there last time. A hill just beyond where he had sequestered the Neko-ken. Ranma shuddered at the thought. Oh, well. He'd have to go past it to get there, there was really no helping it.

And with that, Ranma steeled himself, heading in the direction of the hill.

Halfway there, he almost lost focus, walking past what seemed to be a deserted training hall.... from which issued yowls of hunger and screams of agony. With a final shuddering step, it was again out of hearing..... and Ranma stood at the bottom of the hill.

The hill was very large, but low, and evenly domed. Easily walking up it, Ranma found something very interesting. At the top of the hill was.... a building.

It was a small, two-story, Victorian-style house, and it looked very comfortable. Except for the steel bars over the doors and windows. After a short examination, Ranma decided that the only apparent way to get in was to break something.

Looking over the bars more carefully, Ranma noticed that there was a window left almost totally unobstructed on the swinging garage doors... almost inviting him in. He resolved to be careful, while nothing here could physically harm him, immense mental damage could be done.... he shuddered, remembering the Neko-ken once more. Then he steeled himself, and leapt through the almost-too-small window, shattering the pane of yellow glass in a spray of rippled silicate shards.

Ranma landed on his feet (was there ever any doubt?). There was no sign of the glass from the window. Inside the house was a forest. But not a forest. The paved pathways through it made it seem as though some sort of park. Yet, Ranma could tell that whatever was here, it did not use the paths much. Instead, there were a great many areas where it was obvious someone had passed through, walking across the very grass and dirt, and apparently in hiking boots, too.

Ranma smiled slightly in spite of himself. Despite the paving, the place was nice, serene, and natural overall. Though the effect WAS almost ruined by the presence of an absolutely huge robot off at one end of the wooded area, he had to admit. Then he heard it. Someone was singing. Someone was here. Someone was here, singing. Very well, as a matter of fact. Ranma paused a moment, then appended it further. Someone was here, singing beautifully, and female, and it apparently wasn't him, as he had his mouth shut.

Ranma was relieved for a moment, as he didn't REMEMBER becoming female, although Jusenkyou had rendered that fear rather solid. Ranma immediately tensed up again, as he realized that whoever it was who was singing wasn't a memory of his.... he'd never heard that song before. He couldn't quite make out the words, but the tune was totally unfamiliar. Ranma counted himself fortunate that whoever-it-was didn't seem to want to stop singing as he followed the sounds to their creator.

Ranma wasn't even halfway prepared for what awaited him in the small clearing. He stopped and rubbed his eyes. Whoever it was he was looking at seemed to have six or seven different forms at once, and yet only one. All of her/them, however, was/were female. She/they was/were also in his head. Without invitation. That was not good.

Silently, Ranma leapt to the attack, nailing the singer in the back of the head with a flying kick. There was a loud THWAKK as she/they went flying. Fortunately for the girl(s?), Ranma had pulled his blow quite a bit. Girls couldn't defend themselves very well, after all.

Ranma was expecting his target to fly forwards and plow into the ground, stunned.

He wasn't expecting to feel like someone had clubbed him in the back of the head.

And yet, both of these happened.

"SO," came His voice to Skuld, who was watching the events inside Ranma's head, "HOW GOES IT?"

"Pretty well, actually..." was the twenty-something-looking goddess' reply. "She has a different take on how to do this from the others... she explicitly stated that she didn't want exacting foreknowledge of what would happen... just a general inkling. It should be quite interesting to see how she deals with this whole thing."

She groaned, surprised to be feeling pain in what she had assumed was a dream. The fat guy had doused her with the kettle, and then she found herself here. It took her a bit of thinking to figure out, but she'd supposed that it had to have put her to sleep, since she couldn't think of any other way to get here. Besides, her form kept changing, and a person's body just doesn't DO that in real life. Struggling and standing up, she turned to fix a green/brown/blue/hazel/red-eyed gaze on the pigtailed martial artist.

"And what," she fumed, "was THAT for?! Dammit, I can't even get a break in my dreams now? This is insane!" Several pairs of wings, a few tails, and a pair of chitinous claws all twitched in irritation, phantasmally intersecting each other.

"Wait...your dreams?" Asked an incredulous Ranma, still clutching his head, "Whadda ya mean YOUR dreams?? You're in MY head!"

"In your head?" Her expression changed to one of puzzlement.

"Yes, in MY head. And how'd you take control of my body, anyway? Least, I THINK it was you. Isn't anyone else around in here. I don't get it... I fall in a spring an' someone else gets control of my body? What sorta training is that?"

Her face shifted once again, this time to apology. "I'm sorry for intruding in your mind, whoever you are, but I don't seem to have gotten much of a choice about being here." She shrugged, and continued. "I really have no idea what you're talking about... training? For what?"

The girl with the long, navy-blue hair slowed her jogging as she passed the car wreck, just enough to see that noone had been hurt in the accident. The police were already on the scene, so at least she didn't have to go make an emergency call or anything. Making a note to tell her father about it, she sped back up, rounded the corner and headed straight for the dojo, not even bothering to announce her return to the Tendou-ke.

Changing into her gi, the youngest Tendou proceeded to complete her ritual by shattering a set of concrete blocks. She almost didn't hear the soft "click" immediately after she delivered her blow. Looking up, she saw her sister Nabiki lowering a small camera. Nabiki ran one hand through her 'helmet' pageboy cut of straight brown hair before she spoke.

"There you go again, Akane." Nabiki began, "It's because of this that all the boys think you're wierd."

"So?" came the swift reply. "Not everyone thinks that boys are everything, Nabiki!"

"Oh, really? Then I guess you won't be at all interested in Father's announcement, Akane?"

It was raining in Nerima. It hadn't been raining a few minutes ago- in fact, the sky had been totally clear. However, Nerima was a slightly weird place, and sudden rain was likely to be only the least of the day's interesting events. In fact, it already was, considering how Mrs. Tanaka's pail of blessed water had somehow grown three newts overnight.

Of course, the two figures making their way across the suburb of Toukyou were starting things up on a whole new scale of weird for the day.

People stared as an eight-foot-tall panda walked down the market street on its hind paws. The panda carried a rather large pack on its back, in addition to the other figure. A vaguely humanoid figure in a heavy brown cloak was seated on the panda's right shoulder as it trod the streets, also carrying a pack, though a considerably smaller one.

Ranma, the smaller of the two strangers thought within her head, though certainly not to herself, What's that the old man keeps on muttering about? Some sort of 'engagement' in Nerima?

Beats me, Yasha. Came the answer, from the Other sharing their mind. Prob'ly just another arranged dojo challenge. You know how Oyaji gets 'bout those.

Ah, Yasha thought back, Just about par for the course, then.

Par?

You know, like in golf?

What's a 'golf'?

One small hand emerged from the cloak, rising up to rub at a still-hidden face. A sigh could be heard from the smaller figure. Nevermind. Yasha waved off the panda's curious grunt. "Nothing."

Grinning to itself, the panda continued through Nerima. Who'd have thought the boy's dumb act would help him in this?

Souun and Nabiki Tendou were scared out of their wits. An eight foot tall panda walking into the house on its hind legs was bad enough. The fact that it had a large brown cloak over one shoulder was only kind of weird. It could just be an escaped circus animal, after all. The accompanying horror, however......

"Daddy?" questioned Kasumi, hiding behind the Tendou in question, "This... is your FRIEND????"

The girl was four and a half feet tall, if that, and was staring at them unsettlingly. It was probably unsettling because her irises were blood crimson, not that the rest of her appearance was particularly calming. She had long, pointed ears, the upper ends of which were probably even with the top of her head. It was hard to tell, however, because the thin brown quills that she had in place of hair stuck up the remainder of the fifth foot, as well as arcing down in back to form a massively thick ponytail of sorts. The other noticeably abnormal part of her face was the short fangs, the tips of which barely peeked out from her mouth. Her long, catlike tail poked out from underneath the red, silk tang she wore, seemingly through a hole in her black kung-fu pants. Completing the look were a pair of soft slippers, and all her clothes were far too large for her, making her look even more deformed. Actually, gender was difficult to determine... the clothes hid everything. So, Souun Tendou's mistake was reasonable, given the circumstances, the panda, and his general emotional state.

"You.... you aren't Ranma..... are you?"

"Saotome.... Ranma desu. S-sumimasen..."

(I'm... Saotome Ranma. Sorry about this....)

Tendou Souun fainted.

Tendou Kasumi jumped at hearing someone with fangs like that produce totally intelligible speech. (Even if there was a thick American accent.) The small boy (after all, her father had said Ranma was a boy) seemed frightened, too.

Tendou Nabiki narrowed her eyes. This was something new. A panda doing tricks was neither especially interesting nor particularly marketable. Though it was rather cute. Hopefully, Akane wouldn't fall into another of her 'cute' phases and try to adopt the thing. Bamboo could get expensive. Of course, nothing would ever quite match the Aardvark Incident, but that was another tale. But this boy, if one were to believe her father, was supposedly the son of two relatively normal people. Maybe he had friends like him? After all, American freak shows seemed to go over well . . .

Tendou Akane shifted into a stance, preparing to kill the . . . thing. It was a good thing, she thought, that she was still wearing her gi. At least she wouldn't bloody any of her good clothes killing the demon. Maybe she could get Nabiki to let her keep the panda that had come with it? She'd always wanted a pet.

Yasha backed away from Akane a bit. She did NOT like the look in the girl's eyes, neither when she'd looked at 'him', nor when she'd been looking at the old man. She almost put her arms up in a guarding position, but that could be seen as aggression.... What a pickle. She backed up another two steps, just to be sure. This didn't look like it would be fun.

The panda held up a sign. [Ah. Same old Souun Tendou I remember.] ::flip:: [Would someone like to be a dear and get us some hot water?] ::flip:: [Nevermind, I'll get it myself.]

The wooden sign clattered to the floor as the panda ducked quickly into the kitchen.

Nabiki frowned slightly. She'd seen the sign drop, it only had two sides. How had the panda done that?? For that matter, where had the sign come from? Maybe she WOULD keep the panda.

"Um..." began Yasha, nervously staring at Akane, "P... Please don't... I not try hurt you, and I don't think I able hurt you..." Mentally, she cursed her slow curve at learning new languages. Perhaps it wasn't too late to run yet?

Kasumi stepped forwards around Akane, moving to comfort the small... boy? girl? demon? Whoever they were, they weren't too familiar with Japanese, either. Regardless, anyone looking that nervous probably wasn't dangerous, especially given how this Ranma person was backing away from Akane.

"Please excuse Akane-chan. I'm afraid we're all a bit startled by your appearance. Oh, where are my manners? I am Tendoo Kasumi." Kasumi bowed politely, her palms on the front of her skirt. Akane and Nabiki blinked at this. Kasumi tended to seem a bit out of touch, but bowing in greeting to a demon?

Yasha, looking relieved to be dealing with someone less openly hostile, smiled nervously at the unusually tall, brown-haired girl. "Is okay, Kasumi-san. Must expect when be-" The small demon-girl found herself cut off by a sudden transformation. Genma stood behind her now, empty kettle held over Ranma's head.

Souun said nothing and did nothing, having failed to regain consciousness.

Kasumi stared a moment. "Ara...."

Nabiki jumped, looking startled for the barest instant, then returned to a neutral expression. Pandas with signs and strange-looking people were one thing, but this? Now THIS was something worth getting excited over. Too bad she wasn't showing it. Too bad for this Ranma person, anyways.

Akane, if anything, looked more ready to kill the human boy than she had been to try to kill the seemingly-demon possibly-boy. After all, her 'Toosan certainly wouldn't make her marry a demon. A BOY, on the other hand, was a horse of a different color. Or at least, he would be once she'd done with him. Black or blue, specifically.

Ranma frowned a moment, changing the way he stood almost entirely, as his balance shifted. He also did something to his hair, tightening the ponytail before it's bond could slip off the reduced volume. In doing so, he also changed the large white ribbon from a bow to a sort of wrap around the base of his low ponytail. Now, rather than a somewhat slouched, very short, slump-shouldered, and eerie (if vaguely cute) demon, the Tendoos were faced with an upright, square-shouldered, and athletic (if vaguely bishonen) teenage boy.

like I do to get... oh. We changed. Damn it! I hate being cut off mid-sentence! Yasha continued in Ranma's head. This curse was NOT very much fun.

You an' I both, Yasha, you an' I both. Now whaddo I do? The girl in the gi still looks ready to kill us! Not that she can, but we already got one enemy, and one's plenty, thanks!

Ah.... good question... Yasha replied, watching the girl through Ranma's vision.

Nabiki frowned. "What, exactly, was THAT?" Things had been fairly strange recently, but this sent her weirdometer off the scale. Maybe getting up today hadn't been a good idea. Just in case she hadn't actually gotten up yet, and was still dreaming, she pinched herself on the side.

Ow.

Okay, that lets out THAT possibility.

Genma took dramatic stance #2 (Oh, what a tragedy) and proclaimed, "Oh, the horrible things Ranma and I have undergone in our training trip! It is a wonder that my old friend Souun is coping as well as he is! I must wait for him to wake up, so I can explain to all of you!"

"Now this, I've got to hear."

"Please, Nabiki, stop giving our guests a hard time, and help me with father..."

"Poor daddy. He must have been so disappointed..."

Nabiki just looked at Kasumi for a moment, then returned her obvious attention to her father and her not-so-obvious attention to Ranma.

"I'm so embarrassed. Why does Dad have to act so frail?"

Souun Tendou, having just come to, immediately began doing his best impression of God during that whole Noah thing (Souun Tendou cry # 12: My Daughter Thinks I'm Weak And She's Probably Right). Ranma was, fortunately, far enough away from Souun's head, but Kasumi and Genma only narrowly avoided getting a soaking.

Wow. Lookit him go. It's a wonder the floor isn't suffering water damage yet...

Mmh. Yasha, why do you think that girl is angry at us? came Ranma's response, as he turned their collective gaze on the girl still wearing her gi.

Ranma... some people just hate some kinds of other people. I have never been able to figure it out, but I, and those I associate with, usually fall into the category hated.... Oh well. May as well get back to watching Mr. Portable Niagara Falls here...

Ranma narrowly avoided an argument and eventual beating by turning his gaze from Akane to her father just before Akane decided to glare at him across Souun again. Right about then, Souun turned off the waterworks and looked around.

"G-genma, old friend? Is that you? Tell me, where are the panda and the foul demon thing? Did you drive them off??" Souun sat up excitedly, looking around. Genma was here! That meant Ranma, too! His daughter (whichever one it happened to be) would be getting married soon! Oh, the joy!

Yasha grumbled something in Ranma's head, but he couldn't quite make it out.

"I suppose, Tendou, that a full explanation is in order... for now, an introduction." He turned to the three girls. The young one, Akari was it?, looked ready to fly off the handle anytime now. And Nikibi....Kinibi? Natsumi?.... whatever. She was watching the boy like she thought something was wrong. The eldest one, that Kasumi girl, was looking at Ranma really strangely.... oboy, this didn't look like it was working too well. Genma reflected that he probably should have tried to sneak into the kitchen BEFORE looking for his old friend. Oh well, nothing to do but bull ahead...

"I'm Saotome Genma, and this is my son-"

"Saotome Ranma. Sorry about this..."

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Author's Notes (7/7/03)

Well, here I go around again. It's been over a year since I began this fanfic, and I have to say I was impressed by how many people liked it. Originally, I was doing it just to get some ideas out of my head onto paper (or the electronic equivalent). I posted it on on a lark, and to my amazement, people actually liked reading it. So, here I am over a year and over a hundred reviews later. And I'm looking at it, and I'm realizing that even though I've been writing this thing for so long, I'm still writing it like it was a lark, not really worth spending any serious thought on.

And that's just not fair to anyone who decides they want to read this stuff.

So, I've decided to go back and revise the whole darn thing. Drop inconsistencies, improve the writing, all of that sort of thing. Not because I think other people might not be satisfied with it, but because I am not satisfied with giving it to other people in the form it used to be (in. I think. English teachers are always around at the wrong times.).

For the sake of convenience and comparison, I'm leaving the original version up on , and posting this thing as a new story in the same category. If any of you workers think there's something wrong with this, then by all means delete the old version- I won't be offended or anything.

Further Author's Notes (2/29/04)

And I'm editing it again. After some thought, I've decided that whole scenes need replacing and rewriting. Furthermore, I'm trying to flesh out all the scenes that are already there, providing more depth of detail and character thought. The storyline may well wind up changing significantly because of this, but it should be for the better. I'm also trying to fix a few characterisation inconsistencies, as well as throw in more scenes not centered around Ranma or Yasha/Ranma-Yasha/Kodora. Incidentally, as things are, the name that the me inhabiting Ranma's curse will wind up taking later may change.

The chapter lengths should continue to be more consistent with those of a serial or manga, as that was the way the story was originally designed. Plus, this fic is based more on the manga than on anything else, so the serial-style format seems more appropriate. I've also rethought how I'm printing the japanese words- I've decided to go with romanization of hiragana, rather than anything else. This may result in some confusion for those of you who do not know how hiragana work, but not enough to significantly distract from the story itself. I hope.

Anyways, here's the first chapter, revised and edited by myself (twice).

Please enjoy, and remember....

Never pet a burning dog.

Don't spit into the wind.

Wear a helmet when you ride a bike.

And never, EVER....

Drink root beer on an empty stomach.


	2. Book 1, Chapter 2: Daughterlike demon or...

"What's this all about?" asked the brown-haired girl, one Tendoo Nabiki by name. Her sandalwood eyes gleamed curiously as she carefully watched the strange (if rather handsome) boy sitting across the table, and the room, from her. She was wearing a teal kimono, still. She was also starting to get rather uncomfortable- she hadn't counted on 'first impressions' taking so long. Plus, she was pretty sure she didn't want to have anything to do with this boy in THAT way, and was getting a titch nervous. Of course, she didn't show it. She never showed it. Instead, she wore a skeptical, if very, very faintly curious expression, one eyebrow arched sharply up.

"How did you change into you from that.... uh...

...

...

... other... uh, person?" Tendoo Kasumi almost hesitated out of finishing the sentence, both hands gently wringing her own loose ponytail of nut-brown hair. Unlike either of her sisters, her eyes were a shade of deep hazel that only appeared to be brown at first. She was also considerably taller than either of them, enough so that it showed even when they were all kneeling on the tatami, as they were now.

"Ah..." began Genma, shoving his ear-strap spectacles up on his blunt nose with one (admittedly pudgy) finger. His face took on a bland, but determined expression, the broad, somewhat craggy features hardening slightly. His hand almost crept up to his bandanna, but seemed to think the better of it, dropping back to his lap.

"Where should I start?" He mused, slowly. He was going to have to be fairly blunt about this, in order to get his point across. "Oh, I know."

Genma grabbed Ranma by the front of his red tang with both fists, standing up in the same motion. Ranma, surprised by the motion, looked perplexed for a moment. Then Genma threw him at the koi pond. "HYAH!"

"Waaagh!" Exclaimed Ranma, arcing not-so-gracefully through the air, limbs trailing, coming to a bellyflop into the decorative structure, geysering water all over the back yard. It sparkled faintly in the sunset before spattering down.

glubglub went the pond.

Genma waited, still looking serious, watching the pond.

And waited.

And kept waiting.

For a full minute. Then he panicked, ran over to the koi pond, and leaned down to see Ranma-Yasha's nose just sticking out of the water right behind a rock. Before he could respond to this, he had been grabbed by the neck with a pair of small hands, and yanked into the pond. Ranma-Yasha used his momentum to help her pull herself out of the pond, rising just high enough to land on one of the rocks that made the pond's border. She spread herself as well as she could to get a grip on the boulder, clambering up out of the water.

"Che. Not just SAID. Nooooooo. That be so NICE you do it!" Ranma-Yasha snarled, tail lashing, as she stood up from where she was draped on the rock. Her bare toes easily gripped the surface as she shook her fist at her now-furred 'father'.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Passenger

Chapter 2: Daughter-like demon, or demonic daughter?

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Starblade

Dedicated to those who do not take themselves too seriously, but still try their best.

Warning: I borrowed stuff from good writers. Hopefully, my interpretations are satisfactory- I don't intend to duplicate anything exactly. I have the greatest respect for those whose fanfictions I have DLed, as they are, in my opinion, the best of the best. And remember, if I borrowed it from you, I'm not giving it back until I'm through with it.

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. They never will be. Someone keeps them from me. Wait..... Aha!

SAOTOME RANMA!!!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!

Key:

= English

" "= Japanese

[ ]= Jusenkyoo Cursed Signs

{ }= Chinese

= internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha

° °= I don't know, I just put these here to mislead you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The large panda sat up out of the pond immediately, being more than tall enough to do so comfortably where Ranma-Yasha had had to swim a bit. Souun almost passed out again, but this was considerably less strange than what Ranma had turned into, so he managed to hang on.

Genma-Panda, spectacles hanging by one ear-strap from a protuberance no longer shaped for that use, much less positioned right, glared at Ranma-Yasha, his snout crinkling slightly.

[What's the big idea bo-] ::flip:: [gir-] ::flip:: [so-] ::flip:: [foul demon that infests my son's body, warping it to he-] ::flip:: [...it's evil purposes?]

Nabiki was decided. She HAD to get access to that panda's signs. She could make billions of yen off advertising deals with that. And with unlimited space . . .

Nabiki drifted off into dreams of advertising companies and multi-billion yen businesses selling 'Panda Signs'.

Ranma-Yasha walked back to the room, pausing a moment to shake off excess water by shimmying, which left pretty much the whole yard sprinkled. Luckily, her clothes were big enough that the others still didn't realize she was a she, and so she avoided a possible malleting from Akane and the likely fainting of Souun and Kasumi for varying reasons. On the other hand, the wide ribbon slipped free of her quills and went flying. Sighing in a put-upon manner, Ranma-Yasha wandered over to the ribbon, picking it up and untying it as if this were an everyday occurrence, before using it to bind down her crazed trail of porcupine-worthy spines.

"Sumimasen..." started Kasumi, hesitantly, " but, why did you just get such a thick American accent? And start speaking so poorly, too?" She was very intrigued by the strange things going on- this was better entertainment than those Conan novels! Plus, it was more real, and didn't have translation problems... usually.

"Well... Is hard explain in Japanese today...." Ranma-Yasha said, fluffing out the ribbon into a wide, white bow shape. "You all know English?"

"Not very well, no. " Came Nabiki's response, basically echoed by the other three Tendoos.

Ignoring the panda returning to the room behind her, Ranma-Yasha began. "Well, may be sound confusing now. As much I can tell, is this how it is. Simply, when I change self, knowledge change. I remembering what happen before this start when I like this, but not know same things."

"Before what started?" Asked a puzzled Souun, shying away slightly from the demon-girl as she focused crimson eyes on him. He hadn't quite realized it at first, but red eyes could be very, very disturbing.

"Ask Oyaji-Panda-Baka."

SMAKK!! 

Ranma-Yasha's eyes glazed over as she fell to the ground amidst the broken pieces of sign. She twitched a couple of times before passing out. Her last conscious thought was that it was rather unfair to attack a body with an entire floor when they were unarmed.

The remains of the sign read [Respect your father, boy!]. Or had, when they were in once piece. Not that anyone could read it anymore.

Souun, who had been just starting to pour some hot water on the panda when it struck, froze, staring at the downed demon-girl. Enough water poured to change Genma back, but Souun still held his position.

"Saotome-kun, don't you think that may have been just a bit much?"

Genma grimaced, warm water dribbling down the front of his face. "Stupid boy. He always puts on this weak act when he's like this."

"What do you mean, " Souun asked as he stepped over to the unconscious Ranma-Yasha, " 'when he's like this'?"

"Well, " Genma began, taking Tragic Stance # 12: What A Tragic Story. "It's like this, Tendoo-kun. We had gone to the pools of Jusenkyoo to train. We had barely gotten any training in before falling into two of the pools. We came out as you see us now, but here's the interesting part: the pools of Jusenkyoo turn you into whatever drowned in the pool you fell into, with the form changing based on water, as you seem to have figured out. My son knocked me into the Pool of Drowned Panda (disrespectful son!) and I, in turn, knocked him into the spring of drowned girl."

Souun blinked, pouring warm water onto the unconscious girl without looking directly at her. "So how did your son become a demon, Saotome?" As soon as he saw the change, he straightened his hand, leveling the kettle, and brought it around to place back on the low table.

To pretty much everyone's surprise, Ranma sat up, adjusting his hair again, apparently alright other than a small bump on his head, that was already going down. "Dunno. Th' guide couldn't explain it, either. It didn't make any sense." He sighed, rubbing the ribbon, now bound into a knot rather than a bow, thoughtfully.

"Furthermore," continued Genma, "When the boy is in his other form, he forgets all his knowledge. Or so he claims." This last was accompanied by a glare at Ranma. Genma was not the least bit new to trickery, and was sure that his son had cottoned on to some of it by now. In a way he was proud of his son, but the boy should have given that one up as soon as he had figured it out.

Ranma returned the glare full-force, then turned to Souun. "It's like this... When I'm like that, I'm still me, but I know diff'rent things. Like, I forget martial arts mostly, but I know a lotta dance stuff. Ballroom, tap, an' whatever. An', this is the real wierd part, I know all sorta stuff I know I shouldn'a learned yet. Like calculus an' trigonowhatsis." He still had no idea how much stuff Yasha knew- she'd been teaching him everything she had piecemeal since they'd found themselves together, at every spare moment, but he had a feeling they'd barely scratched the surface, even though it had been at least a couple months since Jusenkyoo. She was always coming up with something he'd never even heard of before.

Nabiki blinked. Ranma's "other half" was well-educated, was he? Sounded like a rather modern education, too. Which meant that Ranma could have been faking it. Or not.

Urgh . . .

Ranma blinked, focusing his attention on Yasha, while Souun and Genma sat, muttering to each other. Kasumi and Akane both studied Ranma some more, making the young martial artist somewhat uncomfortable until he 'zoned out'.

Nabiki, however, was watching the fathers suspiciously. She didn't think much of Genma so far. And he had shifty eyes. As in, they'd been constantly on the look out for exits without him even seeming to realize he'd been doing it. That didn't look good.

You alright Yasha? Asked Ranma in his head, with a concerned tone of voice.

Ranma? Couldja get the number of that tank that hit me? Came the chipper, if somewhat puzzled voice.

I'll take that as a 'yes'. Here, let's see what's going on now...

Ranma's eyes lost the distant look. Only Akane noticed, however, Kasumi and Nabiki had been watching the two fathers having a rushed, whispered conversation.

Ranma flinched back from Akane's angry gaze. Someone had gotten up on the wrong side of the bedroll this morning. Afternoon. Something like that.

Wonder what she's all worked up about? Asked Yasha, warily.

Dunno, Yasha, we'll just have to wait and see.

"Well, " began the Tendoo patriarch, clapping Ranma on the shoulder, "Your problem isn't so bad after all!" Maybe this idea of Saotome's that marriage would purge the demon who'd taken over Ranma's other side would work. He'd have to keep a careful eye on Ranma, though. Just in case.

"These are my daughters. First, Kasumi, she's nineteen. And Nabiki, seventeen. And, of course, Akane, who is sixteen. Pick the one you want. She's your fiancée."

Tense pause.

FIANCEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

"IINAZUKE?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

Yasha wasn't quite sure how Ranma managed to sound even more surprised than her. She also wondered how they'd reached their feet from a kneeling position without actually getting up, but decided to worry about it later.

"O-ya-jiiiiiiii..." Ranma turned a burning glare on Genma. "Did you, perhaps, forget to TELL ME SOMETHING????" His teeth gritted, as the tendons on the back of his clenched right fist began to stand out.

Genma winced, but held his solemn position.

Nabiki and Akane smirked, Nabiki just barely managing not to chuckle.

Souun flattened himself against the far wall.

And Kasumi watched pleasantly as Ranma manifested a faint, fitful, iridescent-blue battle aura.

"Now, boy, it's a matter of family honor! Our families were pledged to this before you were born! There really isn't much of a choice in this for anyone!" Genma exclaimed. He had, after all, brought the boy up to be honorable. Whenever someone else was looking.

That stopped Ranma, who growled at his father, then sat down, battle aura and anger temporarily suppressed. He turned and looked at the three girls, each of whom had returned to their usual facial expression. Except Kasumi, who hadn't really ever left hers. He examined them sullenly, his face tilted down, causing his bangs to partially mask his eyes.

The tall girl was barely smiling, pleasantly, and had her head slightly tilted, looking somewhat curious. The one in the middle had an absolutely stone-solid, neutral face. Ranma stared at her until she lifted an eyebrow, shuddered slightly at the coldness of her expression, and looked at the youngest girl, the one with the blue hair. Oo. Lot of anger there. Best stay away from that one...

At the same time, Nabiki blinked. Her 'game face' had never had that effect on anyone before. That was odd.

"I think..." Ranma trailed off.

"Well, boy, go ahead and choose!" Interrupted his father impatiently.

Each of the girls had come to the conclusion that, while they didn't want to be engaged to this.... very.... unusual person (though only Kasumi thought of it in such kind terms), they didn't want any of their sisters to be any more than they wanted to themselves. Since it was a matter of honor, though, nobody had much choice as to whether or not anything would happen. At least, until Nabiki could talk to their father alone. Maybe. Something told them, however, that their father might stand a little firmer on this than he usually did, so might as well just let the boy choose. Akane thought this with a bit of a shudder. Both Akane and Nabiki, however, had decided that they would rather take it themselves than have Kasumi stuck with it.

Wait, Ranma... maybe... Well, I can't think of a reason why they'd want to be married to someone they don't know... can you?

Ranma paused, mouth half-open, as if to speak. He'd been about to completely dismiss this engagement. He hadn't wanted anything like this.

Well, no, I can't. That's why I was just gonna forget it an' head back to China. What're ya getting at, Yasha?

Why don't we let THEM choose? I mean, it's a matter of honor, and we know how Oyaji is about that. I really don't think we can just walk away from this. Besides, it's always easier to avoid messing up if you let someone else be in charge.

I guess. I dunno- I mean, I still don't know 'em.

True, but the five of us are all stuck with this situation, and besides, they know you better than you know them so far.

I suppose so. Actually, Yasha, that sounds like a pretty good idea. Let's try it.

Ranma straightened up, looking more confident all of a sudden.

"So, who's it going to be, son?" asked Mr. Tendoo.

"I think they should choose." Stated Ranma, solemnly. He looked dead-on at Souun, an even and confident gaze. Yasha hadn't steered him wrong yet, and always admitted when she had no clue. He trusted her opinion. "After all, they know more about me now than I do about them."

Genma gaped for a moment, too surprised to object just yet. Then he closed his mouth, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his right hand. Ranma had been acting strange recently, and this was something of a pinnacle. The boy usually objected much more to decisions being made for him, at the very least. Then again, he could have seen the wisdom in finally obeying his great and majestic father.

It should be noted that Genma is not exactly completely in touch with reality.

Nabiki smiled slightly. "Well thought, Saotome. Akane, Kasumi, if we could go discuss this, please?"

Akane and Kasumi both nodded and stood with their sister, following her upstairs to her room. If Nabiki wanted to discuss it, that meant she had a plan. And Nabiki's plans usually worked. Akane only hoped this wouldn't involve selling anything off like the last few plans.

"Well, " started Nabiki, having returned with her sisters to the main room of the house. "We've come to a decision. Here's the deal." She gave a steady gaze to Ranma, then to her father and his, and then back to Ranma. "It's traditional to give a year or so for the people in question to get used to such things. Sort of a 'getting-to-know-each-other' phase. So, Ranma will be nominally engaged to all of us for a year. If, by the end of that time, one of us has decided to accept the engagement onto her shoulders, and Ranma also agrees, things can proceed as expected. However, if none of us wish to accept it by the end of that time, the engagement will be declared null, okay?"

"Sure. Works for me." Stated Ranma, relieved not to have to make that kind of a choice with nothing to base it on.

"Alright then." Said Genma, begrudgingly. He didn't really think waiting was a good idea, but Souun had let know of his faith in his middle daughter. Besides, Genma was sure he could convince his son that one of these girls was worth marrying, and besides, the old Saotome charm could hardly fail his son when he himself had done so well with it! No woman could resist a Saotome!

Souun merely blinked as his old friend got one of THOSE expressions on his face, and nodded, realizing that Genma must have a plan now, and would probably include him in it. Any plan that he and Genma worked on together was bound to work perfectly! And he could probably convince Genma that Akane would be perfect too. After all, shouldn't martial artists go together? Things would work out just like he'd planned!

Yeah, right.

Are you sure this is a good idea, Ranma? Yasha asked, as she stood in the dojo, facing off against Akane. She really wasn't sure about this- she'd only been sharing a body with Ranma for barely two months! Surely she hadn't picked up a lifetime of martial arts experience!

Yeah. I mean, you need someone about your level to spar against, and she's only a first dan. Came the confident reply.

Yasha boggled. FIRST DAN is about my level?? Ranma, what planet are you living on???? I may be a fast learner, but two months isn't long enough to equal a blackbelt!

Akane smirked as her opponent became covered in small sweatdrops.

Just relax, Yasha. You'll be fine. Soothed Ranma. After all, he was very sure of this.

Well... if you say so. Guess I have to trust you. After all, mused Yasha, It's not like I have any other real choice here...

Aloud, however, she only said "Ready."

Akane snarled at her opponent, who had refused to attack her before, when he was in his normal form. The transformed Ranma was using the most basic ready stance there was, common to many styles of martial arts. And on top of that, Ranma was using it wrong, just barely balanced on the balls of his feet, toes splayed, and fists near his face. This would be too easy. His center of balance was off, his arms were too close to use effectively to guard, and there was no way he could lean to either side without falling over. This would be too easy.

Leading off with a straight punch, Akane changed that thought as the demon-girl simply slid her feet to the sides and practically fell underneath the basic attack. Ranma might not be much on technique right now, but that didn't mean he wasn't fast.

Akane continued her assault on her much smaller opponent with a low kick. Ranma-Yasha fell over backwards as the foot passed over her, then curled into a backwards somersault as the leg was retracted. Frowning, Akane followed her, though slower, just in case of a surprise attack, keeping her hands up, her guard ready.

Reaching the edge of the mat, Ranma-Yasha uncurled to stand straight, facing Akane, then leapt forwards, her right arm leading out with an arcing jab. The blue-haired girl jumped back in response, to keep her opponent from getting within her guard, allowing Ranma-Yasha room to somersault back towards her. Akane punched down, aiming for where the smaller martial artist would be in a moment, only to be surprised as her opponent braced her hands and uncurled into a kick parallel with Akane's arm, aimed for her head. Unfortunately for her opponent, the small girl had misjudged the distance and wound up falling on her back , feet beneath Akane's head. Akane took the opportunity to lash out and strike Ranma-Yasha in the gut, only to be surprised again as the smaller fighter snaked out of the way almost spinelessly, her feet and head remaining anchored as she bowed her entire body.

Rolling to the side and just barely avoiding the follow-up punch, Yasha curled sideways on the mat. She then spun, using the momentum to help her to her feet, arms starting to swing, just in time to catch a fist in her forehead from Akane. The smaller girl was almost sent flying, as it was, the momentum from the punch sent her about four feet back, to land heavily on her back and crack her head on the floor.

Akane winced at the loud THWAKK made by her opponent's head hitting the floor after she misjudged the distance and hit the smaller martial artist with more force than she had intended. She hadn't intended to hit that hard, just to knock her opponent down.

"Gnnnh....." Stated Ranma-Yasha, defiantly, as she moved to get up and fell back down. What was it with these people? Was hitting someone with the entire floor some sort of a special attack or something? She shook her head, then grabbed it with one hand. Oh, yeah. It was a BAD idea to shake your head when it hurts. "Itai..."

Akane, now somewhat worried, walked over to the demon-girl, who was lying flat, the heel of her hand braced against her forehead, eyes squinched shut.

"Gomen kudasai... I didn't mean to hit you that hard. It's just, you wouldn't fight before, and . . ." She extended a hand to help her opponent up.

The demon-girl muttered something noncommittal and incomprehensible, then got up slowly, first to a crouch, then to her feet, still holding her head with one hand. Bowing shakily to the I-ro-ha sign on the wall, she wobbled her way out of the Dojo.

Akane huffed at Ranma's rudeness, and decided to go break some concrete blocks to cool off.

Nabiki watched the little demon talk to Kasumi for a moment before wobbling off, still a little unsteadily, to the bathroom. Akane really should learn to control that temper. Now... what could she do tomorrow to start offsetting the cost of two more people in the dojo? Besides, she still hadn't gotten enough money for that new manga she wanted . . . She hoped very dearly that she wouldn't have to dip into her personal funds to keep the family going for a while.

Kasumi hummed to herself as she made a double recipe of tempura. That Ranma person was so nice and polite when he was like this. Something still bugged her about that boy's cursed form, but she still wasn't sure what it was.... Oh, well. She'd figure it out soon enough if she just watched carefully.

Author's Notes- 08/06/03

And so here is the second chapter of the Passenger rewrite. It took me a while to get to the point where I had time for this, but from now on you should expect these things regularly- once every week or two. I'm happy to be back working on this, I'm happier that more people will get to read it, and I'm most happy that I'll be able to keep my promise that I will not ever come to a total halt on any writing until it is finished.

There are entirely too many fanfics out there that leave off because the writer lost interest or something like that- it's frustrating to not know any more than the beginning of a story.

Anyways, review review review! I've got a new prereader on this one- and I've agreed to preread his fanfic for him as well. Hopefully, both works will turn out the better for it!

Hmm... I've never had a prereader before......

"Okay, I'll bite. Who or what is Ranma, and what is all his, her, or its fault?"

-Agent J, "Tenchi and Ranma Together Forever!"


	3. Book 1, Chapter 3:When it rains, it oars

"Whoa."

"You said it, Ranma."

Ranma swam over to where Yasha was floating. He absently noted that all the color had drained out of the world again.

"This is gross."

Yasha managed to shrug while swimming. "Good thing it isn't real. Look, it's a vampiric frog."

Ranma blink-blinked, and then watched the six-foot frog sit atop nothing at all. The gargantuan amphibian grinned at him, baring teeth that gave the impression it had stolen the dentures of a very large shark. Slitted yellow-green eyes stared at him a moment, and then the frog spoke.

"Quack."

"Why is there a kangaroo behind it?"

Yasha shrugged, turning away from the bizarre spectacle. Same old same old. Tilting her head slightly, she placed her left hand on Ranma's shoulder, and pointed in the other direction from the two animals, which were now engaged in a conversation on the merits of sardine tins.

"Probably the same reason why that's there."

Ranma blinked again. Then he rubbed his eyes, followed by cleaning his face. Then he took another look.

"Is that REALLY a pink hovercraft shaped very much like a grinning light-bulb?"

"I suppose."

Ranma looked down, then back at Yasha.

"I could take all the rest of this, but do we really hafta be swimming in creamed corn?"

"You would prefer drowning?"

"You have the WIERDEST dreams...."

Passenger

Chapter 3: Thunder and rain! When it rains, it.... oars?

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI.... and not following stereotypes.

Warning: I borrow lots of stuff from other fanfictions. I hope my interperetations are satisfactory- I don't intend to totally duplicate anything. I have the greatest respect for those from whose fanfictions I am borrowing, as they are among the best of the best. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: A disclaimer will be 2000 yen, please. Thank you. They aren't mine, except the ones who are. And none of those are you. Have a nice day.

Key:

= English

" "= Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese ( I know, I know. There isn't any yet. But there will be eventually.)

= Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha

± ± = Don't these things look cool?

School? Yasha echoed Ranma, in their head. Ranma awaited an explanation from his father, kneeling silently, eyes expectant.

"Well, " said Genma, arms folded in his usual 'I know better than you' position. "We ARE going to be staying here a while..." He trailed off here, unwilling to mention that he also wanted to get some good gaming (read: cheating) time in with his friend Souun, and couldn't do that with Ranma around to see him.

"It's the same school as Akane and I go to. I'll see you at lunch!" Came the middle Tendoo's voice, almost as an aside.

"Wait!" shouted Akane, trailing behind Nabiki, who had just walked by the living room. "I'll go with you!" Her bookbag was clutched in one hand, as she attempted to catch up without running. Her expression was a little puzzled. Nabiki had always walked with her to school before, what was different now? Besides, they had a guest, and if he was going to come along as well, they might as well all go together, right?

"Sorry, Akane, I have some business I can't wait for. And you have to show Ranma to his classroom anyways." Nabiki smiled apologetically, and held up a sheet of paper that Akane recognized as one of her sister's betting sheets. "You should go with him." Concluded Nabiki, bowing her apology as she backed out the door.

Akane huffed. Her sister WOULD go early to set up betting on the new student. Well, at least he hadn't decided to choose her, he was probably a pervert like all the other boys. Or maybe he would decide to choose her. She fully expected it, too. They always did. Why did SHE have to get chosen for this stupid engagement? Daddy no baka. He would try to push her into it. It was so unfair. Akane grumbled something incomprehensible, giving Ranma a glare. The clueless look in return shook up her train of thought, and she realized that she hadn't been chosen. She grinned sheepishly at Ranma, and decided not to have ramen for her midnight snack anymore. Lousy dreams always messed her up in the mornings.

Ranma just blinked, sighed, and got up to go get his stuff. Yasha had told him that school was going to be necessary at some point if he ever wanted to survive in a city, and she was usually right about this sort of thing... besides, he still had his old bookbag. Hmm. Shirt might also be a good idea. Never know when it's going to get cold, and then a tanktop just won't cut it alone.

"You're not marrying ME!" snarled Akane, not even looking up at Ranma, who was walking on the top of the water canal fence. She had finally managed to finish waking up, but she knew that her father would get some silly idea about martial artists going together or something, and she wanted to head that idea off at the pass.

"Okay." Came his immediate, calm reply. Ranma continued along the fence casually, not really paying much heed. He supposed all three of the Tendoo girls were nice enough, and he'd already decided to give them the final choice in this. So much the better if Akane had already made hers, right?

There was a pause while Akane tried to deal with such an unexpected response. She wasn't quite sure what to think about it. On one hand, it was completely weird and she felt kind of strange to have a boy around who wasn't chasing her. On the other hand, he was agreeing with her, which was certainly a good thing. On the whole, she decided to be less upset about that.

The curse, and the rough, crude way he talked were something else, though.

She turned her head to glare at him somewhat less fiercely. "So don't hang around me in school!"

Ranma blinked, then frowned. So it was like that, was it? "Don't WORRY!" Ranma replied, still not looking at Akane. All this harping on it was really getting to him. "I can't STAND ma-"Ranma left off, mid-word.

What was that, Yasha? he asked, leaving off with his mouth in order to speak with his mind. Or the other half of his mind. Or the mind next to him. Or something like that. He never had been much good with metaphysics. All that momentum and stuff really confused him.

I said, calm down. Yasha replied, sternly. She never had wanted anyone upset at her if she could avoid it, and due to their unique position, this had extended to Ranma. I think she likes this even less than we do, and even if we don't wind up stuck marrying her, she's going to at least be our sister-in-law, most likely. We don't want to be on her bad side.

You're awfully accepting of this, Yasha... Ranma said, sounding uncertain. He trusted her, but things were going all funky lately, and stuff was happening much faster than he was really comfortable with.

Not really. Yasha equivocated. I'm just giving it its chance. We agreed to the one-year thing, and I, for one, plan to stick to it. Besides, it's on at least your honor, if not mine.

I suppose you have a point-

"I said, WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?!"

Ranma nearly fell off the fence at the force of Akane's yell, and came to a stop. "Huh?" He asked, with an expression that wouldn't have looked out of place on a deer staring into headlights.

"What was that you said?!" Akane growled, glaring up at Ranma. It was making her edgy, the way he was staying up there on the fence like that. Like he thought he was better than everyone else or something.

Ranma thought quickly. "I said, uh, that... that if ya can't stand me, then I won't bug ya any."

Nice save, Ranma!

Thanks, Yasha.

Akane looked mollified. "Well, I mean, it's not you, it's this whole engagement thing. They didn't give me much of a choice about it. Just don't act too familiar, okay?"

"Sure" came the nonchalant reply. "I hope you don't mind me saying it.... but, well, I think you're kinda a tomboy."

"What," Akane began, belligerently, "are you saying I'm unfeminine??" She shifted her bookbag into her right hand, ready to throw it.

"No, I jus-"

THWAKK!!

"Ite!" Ranma exclaimed, clutching his cranium. "Oyaji, what're you-"

"You're in no position to be choosy about women! You're lucky the wimpy girl is even considering y-"

THUD-SPLOOSH went Genma, finding himself in the canal with Akane's bookbag in his lap. And a bit of a bruise, too.

Ranma and Yasha just laughed. The panda, seeing this, jumped up to the fence.

Good one, Akane!

"Nice shot, Akane!" Ranma proclaimed, flashing the youngest Tendou a thumbs-up. "So, Oyaji, you were sayin' something?"

The panda almost seemed to grin, before going down on all fours on the fence, carefully balancing his bulk.

"What're you-" Ranma was cut off as the panda shook itself violently, flinging water everywhere. Akane managed to step back out of range. Ranma wasn't so lucky. Neither was Yasha.

There was a ripping sound as another pair of Ranma's boxers gained the addition of a tailhole. Ranma-Yasha winced at the slight pain from this, then fell off the fence as she lost her balance. She landed, fortunately, in the canal, and tread water, while glaring up at the panda, which seemed to be laughing. It was difficult staying afloat without using her hands, but unless she tightened the sash on the kung-fu pants, she would sink a lot and very, very quickly.

"Laugh all like, Oyaji." Ranma-Yasha grumbled, her eyebrows knotted in concentration. "Where I go school, when like this? Am registered human, ne?"

The panda blinked, swore to itself incomprehensibly, and turned to run back to the Dojo. The bulky black-and-white figure receded rapidly along the fence.

Yasha just clambered out of the canal and over the fence. It wasn't easy when swimming in clothes at least five sizes too large, but she managed nonetheless, having become an old pro at this.

Akane grimaced at the dripping demon. "C'mon, I know where to get hot water and it shouldn't take too long." At least, she hoped it wouldn't. She really couldn't afford to be late anymore...

Ranma-Yasha couldn't help but notice that Akane now totally refused to look at her, and seemed a bit nervous, too. Sigh. A demon's lot is not a popular one.

Ranma-Yasha waited outside by the clinic sign, while Akane went in to get the water. Hopefully, noone would see her and try to "send the demon back to hell". She'd gotten plenty of that while traveling alone with her (sort-of) father.

"Che. What way start day. This not very-" She cut off when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning, she found herself face-to-face with a skeleton. She was SO not in the mood for this. Her tail began to lash as she gave the skeleton her best vicious glare, and her quills stood up even further. "Grrrrrrrrrrr...."

Touhuu went white. It was a full-blown demon! And not an extraterrestrial-type demon, a genuine pits-of-hell, burning brimstone demon with the vilest aura of..... humanity?? What the heck was going on here? He stood frozen until Yasha reached out and grabbed his Betty-chan by the skull.

The damned skeleton would regret this. And whoever was playing with it would.... oh. Let's see. Man holding skeleton. Man is... twenty-something, has glasses on.... looks puzzled. Wearing greenish-brownish gi, with... black belt. Okay, maybe he wouldn't.

"Please not do again." Yasha ground out between clenched teeth. It was getting harder and harder to retain a calm frame of mind as time passed. She really needed to find something to pound on for a while.

"Aheh..." Touhuu grinned nervously, noting the demon-girl's accent. Sorry. That's just my way of greeting new patients to Nerima. I hope Betty-chan didn't scare you?

Yasha almost laughed. Skeletons haven't ever scared me. Although, if your intent isn't to scare people, maybe you should lose the stiff when greeting 'em.

Touhuu blinked. Gee, I.... never thought of it that way. I guess you're right.

Yasha blinked, and barely managed to refrain from shaking her head ruefully. This guy is strange.

Skilled, but strange.

Hm.

TONGGGG! Went the kettle as Akane put it down on Ranma-Yasha's head.

"Ite." Said Ranma-Yasha flatly, more out of reflex than anything else, then looked back and forth between Akane and Touhuu. Akane, rising from her bow, was looking down at the ground, and slightly twisting her left toe on the concrete of the sidewalk. Every minute or so, she would look up at the doctor, and then rapidly look back down.

"You haven't been by lately, " began Touhuu. "No new injuries?"

What's up here? Akane's looking at him like... thought Yasha. Is she blushing??

"No, sir." Akane replied, looking down slightly and blushing a bit more. "I mean, I haven't been doing anything that would..." she trailed off.

Yasha chuckled to herself as she poured the hot water on herself just out of sight.

"Interesting." said Ranma. Then he looked at the giant clock on the wall of the far-off school. "Kuso! We're gonna be late!"

"Who was that guy?" Queried Ranma, as he and Akane ran towards the school.

"You mean Touhuu-sensei? He's the local chiropractor, acupuncturist, general doctor... he does EVERYTHING around here." Akane smiled.

"Martial arts master too, right?"

"Yeah, that's right! How could you tell?"

"......lucky guess." said Ranma, keeping his thoughts to himself entirely.

"True, he's very good." Akane said. Somehow, she seemed proud of it. "Doesn't look it, does he? Ever since I was little, he's taken care of my injuries."

"Soo..." began Ranma, hopping off the fence to run alongside Akane.

Don't ask it, Ranma. Yasha cut in.

Whaaat? What did I do?

Nothing, but you were going to do something. Don't make assumptions, Ranma. Because, as a teacher of mine liked to say, when you assume, you make an ass out of U and me. And noone likes being a donkey.

Okay, okay. I'll be more careful next time.

Thank you.

"So, you like him, huh?" asked Ranma.

This was one of those times when Yasha would have really liked to be able to hit Ranma over the head. Or facefault. She wasn't sure which.

"It's none of your business, pervert!"

Ranma blinked.

Where did THAT one come from? Yasha asked, incredulously.

"Why am I a pervert?" Ranma asked, avoiding the other question, namely, 'What's a pervert?' After all, if he made it look like he didn't know, maybe she'd think he was stupid, and that might get him in bad with possible future family.

Yasha declined to investigate that particular thread of thought.

"Because!" huffed Akane, accelerating to Warp Factor Three, " All boys are perverts!"

They were nearing the school gates.

"I...." She ground out between breaths.

Suddenly, a huge mass of male students appeared in the front yard of the school.

"HATE....." Akane's voice grew gradually in volume.

"I love you Akane!" "Don't let them beat you, you're mine!" "You must succumb to my Tango of Doom!" "I, Tuxedo Puck, the defender of Hockey, cannot let you be beaten by any other than myself!" " I shall push open the doors of your heart!"

"**_MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_**

Ranma jumped up and perched on the wall to one side of the gate as Akane dove into the crowd, sending hormone-crazed teenagers every which way. He looked on puzzledly, as people tried to defeat her with weapons, improvised weapons, and things which should never be used as improvised weapons. Twice, he had to duck airborne boomboxes. He was also treated to the unique view of a bowler getting mown down by his own ball, returned as though it were a soccer ball.

Mayhem, thy name is Akane Tendo.

Nabiki, looking out the window from her classroom, spotted Ranma. "RANMA! Get in this school! NOW!!"

Ranma looked up, pointing in Akane's general direction, totally ignoring the gathering rainclouds. "But--"

"Don't worry about Akane!"

Sure enough, the sounds of destruction had stopped, and Ranma looked at the carnage before him.

Ewww. Said Yasha, in their mind. I didn't think you could DO that with a shinai.... And the poor guy with the yoyo.... I hope they don't break the stomach pump.

"Every." huffed Akane, seeming to only get more worked up. "Single. Freaking. MORNING!"

An object flew straight for Akane, who smashed the poor, innocent rose into the ground with her bookbag.

"Such a boorish lot." Stated the tall, dark boy in the kendo hakama. "All intending to ask you out." He posed dramatically, bokken down and out to the side, head canted slightly downwards. In other words, he looked thoroughly out of place in a schoolyard.

Akane growled. She was getting very, very tired of this.

"Might you fight with me, Akane Tendo?"

"Wow." Said Ranma, landing next to Akane. "You're popular, aint'cha?"

"YOU!" shouted the kendoist, aiming his bokken at Ranma. "You are being very familiar with Akane. I would like to know..... WHY?"

Ranma regarded the boy for a moment. About Ranma's age, and somewhat on the tall side for a Japanese, he stood firm. A slightly mussy mop of black hair shaded his blue eyes in the front, and he wore his navy hakama and white gi top with the ease of familiarity. He also, oddly enough, wasn't wearing any footwear at all. This boy was also visibly older than him, though, how much, Ranma couldn't say for sure. Hopefully not too much older- there was something very wrong with the idea of a college student hanging around a high school, trying to date a first-year student, at that.

Ranma immediately classified him in the file labeled 'not a serious threat'. Along with an increasingly (and astonishingly) large number of other miscellaneous things and people.

"Tell him, Akane." Ranma commented, casually.

There was a short pause, as Ranma awaited an answer.

"Akane?" He prompted, giving the girl a confused glance.

"Tell him WHAT?" Akane hissed, hoping Ranma would catch the hint.

Naturally, it flew over his head, and, less naturally, over Yasha's as well. There was another, more extended pause. The tall dark kendoist almost began to froth at the mouth as he lost patience.

"Who ARE you, boor?!" Shouted the hakama-clad stick-wielding maniac. "But, wait!!" he continued, interrupting Ranma. " It is customary to give one's OWN name FIRST!! I deduce that that is why you have paused! Very well, MINE I shall GIVE!!"

Loud nutball. Commented Yasha. This guy really, really loved to emphasize his words.

"Here we go again." Muttered Akane. She idly wondered how anyone like Kuno had ever managed to get such a big ego in the first place. Lousy rich kid.

"My name...." stated Kuno, doing a passable Captain Kirk pause-after-every-third-word-for-dramatic-purposes, "Is Upperclassman.... KUNO TATEWAKI!! But you.... you may call me.... Upperclassman! Captain..... of the Kendo Club..... Undefeated rising star.... of the high school fencing world.... I am known as...."

Really big dramatic pause.

" AOIRO IKAZUCHI!" (Blue Thunder)

Ranma nearly fell over. Surely, this boy hadn't just... No, no, he must have misheard. Still, he had to make sure...

"Did you just call yourself..."

Another dramatic pause.

" YAOI RO ITTKATSU CHI???" (Roaring Gay Earth Oar)

Everyone in that side of the school, Akane, Kuno, and a few of the less-unconscious boys lying on the field performed a massive flying group facefault. To Yasha's mild astonishment, this neither resulted in facial injuries, nor did it crumble any of the building.

Ranma looked puzzled, still trying to figure out why Kuno would call himself that, and if he really had.

Yasha was laughing her metaphysical head off. Even if she only understood part of the phrase, it was still hilarious.

"No, you fool! The BLUE THUNDER! BLUE THUNDER!!!!!" Shouted Kuno, red with rage and embarrassment. How dare this impudent whelp mock his chosen title! The commoner would pay!!

Ranma snorted. "Whatever you say, Mr. Shoutin' Gay Dirt Paddle. Anyways, I'm stayin' at the Tendo Dojo..." Ranma began, unheeding of the swordsman's rage.

"What?!" Interrupted Kuno, scowling. "Under the same roof as AKANE?!"

Kuno attacked as fast as he could without breaking basic Kendo form.

In other words, not nearly fast enough, as Ranma backflipped out of the way of the charging swipe. He tried to throw his bag to Akane, but missed because she had fallen over and was rolling on the ground, laughing. The leather satchel skittered dully along the dirt a short ways before coming to a stop.

He continued midair. "I'm heir t' the Musabetsou Kaketou Saotome Ryu..." Then he landed, and finished, taking one of his more obvious ready stances. He kept his left side slightly forwards, and crouched a bit, leaning slightly towards his supposed opponent. "Saotome Ranma! And I accept your challenge!"

Just a note: Other than "yaoi", yes, "Yaoi ro ittkatsu chi" means (literally) "(gay? Not quite sure...) oar roaring earth". I translate it a little bit loosely for this purpose. Don't ask how I thought of that. I'm not too sure myself.

Author's Notes 10/30/03:

And that's the revision of chapter three. As you may have noticed, I'm still learning the right places to put little blurbs, and the right places to use paragraphs. Or is that the 'write' place?

Okay, okay, bad joke.

Really, you can stop throwing vegetables.

Anyways, expect this to keep going, slow but steady. 'Cause I'm not dead yet!

::examines the very large knife stuck through her heart in a way that screams 'fake'::

At least, I think so.

Oh, and happy halloween!

Rob: Would you like to be 'pot' or 'kettle' this Halloween?

Bucky: I shall be 'pot.'

-Get Fuzzy


	4. Book 1, Chapter 4: Of mistakes and conse...

"Hey!" Exclaimed Hiroshi, looking out the window as he wiped away the tears of laughter. "I think that guy's gonna fight Kunou! Ahehehehe...."

Daisuke just kept laughing. "Roaring gay....! Ahahahahahahaaaaa..... Dirty Gay Paddle! Bwahahahahaaaa!"

A floor down, Nabiki had finally regained her composure, aside from the amused grin that was an extension of her smirk. Her mouth remained lopsided, the left corner risen halfway to her eye, as she spoke. "I sure hope Ranma knows what he's getting into. Heheh. Mmph. Roaring Gay. Heheh. Too much."

One of the seniors on the second floor, in the classroom below Nabiki's, nearly fell out the window as he was gasping for breath. As his friends pulled him back in, still laughing themselves, all he could gasp out was "Priceless.... Kunou's face.... heeeeeee...."

"Aheheheheheh... Snap... ahah... snap out of it, Goro.... heeheehee.... Don' wanna have to clean... ahah... ya up offa the ground.... haha.... under the window.....heh..."

Obviously, the mere thought of Kunou Tatewaki being gay was just too much for everyone in the school. Okay, okay, so it was actually that it was a pretty damn funny pun. Even if the poor sap got pulverized by Kunou, it was worth it to have the similarity pointed out.

"Scoundrel! Taunting the Blue Thunder and hounding the beauteous Tendouu Akane! It shall not be allowed! I, Upperclassman Kunou, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High-" Here, Kunou raised his bokken, and lightning streaked down a short distance away, ripping off a perfectly timed peal of thunder- "Shall bring you to JUSTICE!!!"

Ranma, aheheheh... It's gonna rain soon. Heeheeheehee.... Get this over with, will ya?

Ranma just couldn't understand what was so funny.

Passenger

Chapter 4: Of mistakes and consequences.

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI... and not falling into the traps.

Warning: I borrow stuff. From everywhere. I'm not trying to plagiarize or anything. Deal with it. Oh, and enjoy this fanfiction.

Disclaimer: Oh, my. These aren't mine. I shall have to give them back, as soon as I am done with them. Ah, wait. Some of these are mine. Well, at least they aren't anyone else's.... I shall just keep ahold of them unless someone else can claim them. Enjoy this!

Key:

= English

" " = Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha

§ § = Is this joke getting old yet?

"So who's HOUNDING anyone?!" Asked Ranma. Where the hairy hell did this guy get the idea he'd been following Akane around?

"Mmph." said Akane, getting up and not giggling. Not in the least, eensy, teensy, little bit.. Kunou. Gay. "Mmpheeheeheemmph." Okay, maybe just a little. Poor Ranma was gonna get his head handed to him. Oh well. She had to admit, to hear that, and for the expression on Kunou's face, it was well worth it.

Neat trick he did with the lightning, though, you have to admit.

True enough, Yasha.

"Pay attention, fool!" Shouted Tatewaki, as he charged in, intent on splitting this scoundrel's skull in two vertically.

Ranma did not agree that this was a good idea, and effectively stated so by refusing the offer.

CHUNGGG!

Kunou found that, instead of Ranma, he had struck a stone wall. The fact that he struck with enough force to split and crumble a stone wall using only a wooden bokken was a testament to his perfect form. That he utterly failed to move quickly enough to strike Ranma was a testament to Ranma's better (and much more important) speed and agility.

Tatewaki, the noble samurai (Yeah right.), Turned to look where he had caught a flicker of motion with the corner of his eye. Target confirmed, he swiftly brought his weapon of divine vengence (read: wooden kendo stick) to bear, attempting again to injure this foul, physics-defying knave. At the last possible second, Ranma left his gravity-ignorant crouch against the nearly-vertical tree-trunk, springing up, over, and backwards, lifting himself higher than the branches of the erstwhile vegetation. All within half a second.

HWHAK!

Kunou: 1, Tree: 0

"Excuse me, excuse me.." said Ranma, landing on the other side of the felled part of the tree. "Let's just get this straight here...."

Kunou jumped back as Ranma practically appeared right in his face. "Akane and I have NO interest at ALL in each other." Even as he spoke, Ranma moved forwards, leaning in towards the upperclassman, their noses practically touching. Absently, Kunouo notet that he could see the veins in Ranma's eyes, even as he ran backwards, the Anything Goes Martial Artist following from a few inches behind.

'Amazing...' thought Akane, watching. 'He's better than I thought! He was there before Kunou could blink! Maybe he really is that much better than me...' Somehow, the thought galled Akane, but she ignored it in favor of watching the spectacle before her. At least, until Ranma made a comment that awoke her ire.

"She means NOTHING to me!" Shouted Ranma, backing the Killer Krazed Kendoist up as he yelled. They were halfway back to the school building by now, and Ranma had no intention of stopping until Kunouo was against the wall. "I have no interest in such a hot-tempered TOMBOY!!"

"Ranmaaa...." Akane growled, hefting a handy shot dropped by a member of the shot put team when she'd sprained his wrist. "Nooo HENTAI!!!!" And with that, she put the shot put people to shame. Her arm thrust out forcefully, propelling the shot not in a high arc, but a beautiful, spinning thrust, nearly level towards the two combatants, it moved so quickly.

"Dammit, Akane, quit calling me- oop-" Ranma jumped out of the way of the attack. While he could probably take it, he saw no reason to, and would just as soon go inside at this point. Besides, he could just SEE what was about to happen.

"Speaking ill of Akane!" Yelled Kunou, registering only that Ranma was no longer too close to attack with his weapon. Automatically, he swung a wide sideways slash, obviously ignoring the possibility that Ranma might have been further away than that. "I FORB-"

Wooden stick met ball of cast iron.

KRANNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRUNCH

"Iyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi" Said the vibrating Tatewaki as he vibrated from the impact. His bokken, destroyed in the middle, the end hanging by a few splinters of wood, was astoundingly shaking more violently than he himself. Both seemed to be somewhat blurred at the edges, as they vibrated rather rapidly.

The shot, on the other hand, rebounded and bounced twice on the asphalt, as though it were rubber instead of a lump of iron. It left a path of small craters before loudly impacting wall, leaving a webwork of cracks and fissures as it fell to the concrete yet again.

"Wow. Kunou-chan should try out for baseball." Stated Nabiki, somewhat awed. "Ought to work on that follow-through, though."

Tatewaki, meanwhile was trying to get his teeth to stop trying to vibrate out of his mouth. There seemed to be some sort of localised earthquake going on. Why was everyone else still inside the building, rather than coming out here where it was safe? Wait a moment... his weapon was doing most of the vibrating. Maybe...

Ranma had decided. The Gay Thunder... or was it Blue Paddle? Roaring Earth? Whatever. The manic kendoist was going to take a nap now.

Kunou had other ideas, dropping his bokken and pulling another from his pants (don't ask) to use against the three of Ranma. Thunder struck somewhere nearby as the deranged, disoriented kendoist lashed out at the incoming airborne triplets. Once he had beaten this cur, he would surely be able to likewise defeat his soon to be disheartened duplicates.

Time seemed to pause.

Ranma, midair, with his hand out, first two fingers pointing at Kunou's forehead from an inch away.

Kunou, lucky enough this one time to have struck out at the real Ranma, despite the two others swimming in his vision.

The panda at the gates with a steaming kettle, running straight for Ranma, with an oddly relieved expression on his face.

....panda?

As though Matrix-style effects had just been shocked out of action by the sudden appearance of such an odd visitor, time resumed. In a blur of black and white, the panda ran through the combat, trampling one teen into the dust and snagging the other to bring along inside.

"Wow." "Cool." "Just one blow!" "Heheh... Roaring gay earth oar" "Um, 'Roshi? It wasn't that funny." "That's a real strong panda."

Murmurs ran through the school and rumors about gay pandas and kettles knocking out Kunou with one hit ran rampant as people went to go start their classes.

Genma-Panda sweated as he checked from the PE Equipment closet to see if they had been spotted. His feet hurt.

"Stupid rain. If not water, stupid kendoist be push flowers." Grumbled Yasha, rubbing her back where there were a few animal footprints. "Not help idiot with Alzheimers walk across me. Should have to wear eyeglass."

"Ah, I wouldn't be so sure..." Said Akane, crouching on the sill as she opened the window, careful not to look directly at Ranma-Yasha. She looked slightly pensive, staring at the ball bin.

Tucked under a set of floor mats, Tatewaki failed to register anything, though his feet were growing cold, which ought to wake him fairly soon.

"Nani? You for think maybe, I need being use as rug?" Yasha asked, giving Akane a scowl. "To have poor spirit, are you." Distractedly, she wrung as much water as she could out of the bottom half of her silk shirt. Dammit, Ranma may like them, but she was NOT going to be seen in a tanktop, thanks.

Akane blinked, not used to having to defend herself so abruptly. "Er, no... that's not what I meant. You know, the bit about Kunouo. I mean, he DID hit you."

"Aah, for fighting of sword-boy you speak. Why not you believe?"

"Your throat."

Ranma-Yasha lifted a hand to her neck, and rubbed lightly. "So itching a bit, I..." Then she saw the small amount of soft-pink blood on her hand. She touched her neck again, feeling the raw, lightly bleeding skin. "Cut? No, is... ah... how say... " friction "burn. Cut not itch. I going need piece cotton and bandage, maybe.." Yasha frowned, wondering how the ersatz bokken-wielder had actually managed to tag Ranma. Perhaps when the change occurred...

Genma-Panda poured the water, relieved to have the demonic visage removed from sight. He then looked wistfully at the kettle, and shrugged. There really wasn't a point, he'd just get wet on his way home. Without either teenager paying attention to him, it was rather easy to leave and head back to the Dojo, where Kasumi would doubtlessly be preparing lunch. Mmmm, lunch....

"Wow." Ranma muttered, sounding slightly impressed (but not much). "An' he didn't even touch me. He's better'n I woulda thought f'r a hobbyist." He rubbed at his neck, seeming not to notice that what had been a rather irritating friction burn on Yasha's neck, was now nothing more than a slight bruise.

"If he HAD, " Akane turned to face the now-human Ranma, "You'd be breathing through a hole in your neck. Almost even match, wouldn't you say?"

"Maybe..." Said Ranma, enigmatically, rubbing the now-bruise on his neck.

"Hmmmm..." Hmmmmed Kunou Tatewaki, looking in a borrowed mirror. He frowned at the image in it, he frowned at what it told him, and he frowned at the girliness of the mirror.

What, you thought HE of all people would have owned a mirror bordered with pink ribbon bas-relief?

The esteemed samurai.... ah... wannabe swordsman... was examining the print on his forehead. It was a curious bruise, shaped as though made of numerous smaller bruises. Deliberately shaped.

"Halfwited Nimrud" it read, in passable English characters.

"Amazing." Said Nabiki, watching him. "And you don't even remember him touching you?" This was getting more impressive all the time. First, magic curses, now striking faster than the eye can track... What was next, fireballs from bare hands? Blowing things up with a touch?

"Hmph." Hmphed Tatewaki, now in uniform, as he returned the mirror to Mitsuki, who was watching mutely. "And at first I thought he might be GOOD! But he can't spell English at all!" The not-very-nobleman stood abruptly, scraping his chair across the floor.

He stalked over to the blackboard, taking up a piece of chalk in his right hand. Turning, he began scribing forcefully on the dark-green surface..

"THIS is how you spell it!"

SKREEK SKREEK

The chalkboard now read "Haffuwelleb Memrud" in English.

"Actually, Kunou-chan, it's spelled like this."

Tatewaki looked over at the board near Nabiki, where more writing rested. He hadn'd even heard her use the chalk.

Her writing read "Halfwitted Nimrod" in English. In cursive. With decorative chibi-Tatewakis, all wearing dunce-caps, dancing around it. He could tell they were him, because each was saying something like "The Roaring Gay Knows How To Tango!" in Japanese.

Kunou looked blandly at Nabiki. "I despise you." He stated, in a totally passionless tone.

"I'm so glad." Stated Nabiki, equally neutrally.

"Well, Saotome-san... Though you have spent the last while in China, this does not excuse your being late, even with the dirty gay panda incident."

Ranma and Akane both blinked slowly.

"Also late, " continued the teacher, oblivious to the fact-twisting pulled by the rumor mill, "Was Akane Tendouu. Both of you take buckets and stand in the hall."

"This is all your fault." Stated Akane, not too angrily. She was still trying to keep a straight face over Kunou's new name. Not to mention the rumor mill. Maybe she'd have to try something new. How would Kuno react to being called 'Panda Pants'?

"MY fault? How is it MY fault that YOUR fight slowed us down?" Ranma questioned, indignantly. What an inconsiderate... Words not used to describe things better left to rot in forgotten tombs escaped him.

"....yes, but every morning, I manage to finish MY fight BEFORE first bell rings." She replied, a little more hotly. Lousy Kuno. Lousy horde. Lousy engagement deal.

Hey, Ranma... ya wanna ask her what all that was about, hopefully before she gets mad again?

I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it...

"What was all that about, anyways? I'VE never gotten people attacking me while declaring love before."

Portentious words.

"At the beginning of the school year.." began Akane, sighing and looking downcast, "Kunou announced at the beginning of the school speech tournament..."

((FLASHBACK))

"Anyone wishing to take Akane Tendouu out on a date, must defeat her for permission! I, Tatewaki Kunou, the Shooting Star of Furinkan High, will permit no other terms! Anyone attempting to break them must answer to ME!"

((END FLASHBACK))

"And they LISTENED????" Ranma was utterly incredulous. Kunou wasn't even that good! Why would people do what he told them? This didn't make any sense at ALL....

What the hell kinda stupid thing is that to TELL everyone, anyways? Yasha fumed. I don't know about you, but that seems kinda dishonorable to me, saying something like that about her without her permission. At least, if she understood Japanese honor at all... some of this stuff was kinda hard to believe.

Hadn't thought of that, Yasha...

"Well, Kunou IS the Kendo team captain, and they're the top martial arts club here..."

"Why didn'tcha tell 'em he was wrong, anyways? I mean, he didn' ask ya about it first, did he?"

"So, anyway, Kunou-chan, " Nabiki whispered, keeping her eyes on the board. "Our fathers, after everything was sorted out, engaged Ranma to Akane, Ka-"

Nabiki cut off when she realized that the seat next to her was now empty and on its side, and the classroom door was open.

"Chikushou. He didn't get the whole story. Well, I'm sure Akane can get him to listen."

"Ah.... Tendouu-san?" Mr. Yamada asked, looking a bit surprised. "You wouldn't happen to know what set Kunou-san off this time, would you? Oh, and after you answer, take some buckets and go stand in the hall, please. Next time, don't talk while I'm giving a lecture."

"Yeah, sure." Grumbled Nabiki. Stupid Kunou-chan.

"And this happens every single morning, too?"

"Yeah..." said Akane, thoughtfully. "Kunou too... but I always win." Something sounded off about the statement, even to Akane, so she tacked on a "Somehow."

Oh boy. Major snag. Said Yasha. The girl wasn't actually better than Kunou, even she could see that. This spelled trouble with a capital T. Especially given her attitude before. Probably, Akane thought very highly of her own skills.... She hoped Ranma would be circumspect about this.

"Well... " Ranma trailed off, remembering his promise to Yasha to think first next time.

"Well, what??"

"It's just... most other men, when they fight a girl, go easy... " He paused. Did that come out like he'd meant it to?

Akane fumed. "What do you mean 'other men'? When we sparred before, you wouldn't even try to hit me! Don't underestimate me!"

"No, no no..." Had his hands been free, Ranma would have been waving them defensively. "You've got it all wrong! I mean, look at what you have to deal with every morning... It's good practice, but it's obvious that you're used to opponents who concentrate on striking you at any cost. Also at fighting multiple opponents."

Akane, for once, shut up and listened. This sounded like it was going somewhere.

"I mean, what would you do if one of them started acting like I did in our sparring match? All of those guys in the morning attack first, putting you on the response. You need to learn how to initiate it, so you don't get pulled into a trap if you ever DO have to. You can't always fight defensively."

Wow. Yasha was impressed. You put a lot more thought than usual into this, Ranma. You've learned to think much faster. Congratulations.

Well, I try.

"...." Akane was trying to find something to object to in what he'd said. The problem was, for a boy, he was being very reasonable. And not at all perverted, either... He was just standing there, looking thoughtfully out the window on the other side of the hall.

Satan, on the other hand, was pulling out a snow shovel and cursing.

"Yah!" shouted Ranma, jumping the sudden splash of water towards him. If he were to change here, Yasha might not make it, especially with Kunou right there to see the "demon"....

Akane wasn't quite as fast, and got doused.

Kunou, typically, didn't notice at all. Nor did he notice the constant, heavy stream of water hitting him in the back.

"What the?" Rhetorically asked Ranma, carefully landing OUT of the water, then got a better look at Kunou. Who was soaked. And Nabiki down the hall with the fire hose, trying to get Kunou's attention. Her buckets were sitting by her feet, empty- she'd tried to get the kendoist's attention with them back on the stairway.

"Nabiki?" Queried Akane, too surprised to get mad at her moistening yet. Though once she remembered, Tatewaki would probably have a very sore face.

"I SHALL NEVER ALLOW YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE, VILE CUR!!"

Akane had just enough time to mutter "Kuso."

"WHAT?? Engagement?!" "How COULD you, Akane??" "I thought you HATED boys!!" "Wait, which one of you is engaged to Akane?" "I bet it's the new kid! Ramen whats-his-name!"

"That's RANMA, you idi-whoop-"

Ranma was getting annoyed. Would he never be allowed to finish an important sentence around here? And what was it with water around here? Not to mention, how did Kunou slice a metal bucket CLEANLY with a wooden stick? The idiot hadn't demonstarated that level of chi control before.... That cut it. He was going to go outside where he could get some room, and teach this nimwit a lesson.

"Stand your ground, coward!" Shouted Kunou, giving chase.

"We can't fight in here with all these people! Follow me!" Yelled Ranma to the lunatic Kendoist. He took off down the hall, with the hakama'd moron in moderately close pursuit.

"I follow eagerly to inflict a thrashing!" Replied Tatewaki.

Ranma spied an open window, and moved to it.

"What are you doing, Ranma?" Asked Nabiki, as he passed her. Then she pressed herself against the wall as Akane and her entire class piled down the hallway and around the corner.

"OY!" A sensei shouted, "RUN **QUIETLY** IN THE HALLS, DAMMIT!"

Let's see if he's tough enough to follow me HERE...

I wouldn't think so, Ranma... otherwise, he'd have done better against you earlier... Yasha mused. Probably, this would bring things to a quick end- which was good. Ranma could stand to spend more time learning the useful things one could in school.

"Here, let's go this way! It's faster!" Called back Ranma, jumping through the window.

"That I shall!" Stated Kunou, eyes only on Ranma, following him intently.

"Wait!" Shouted Nabiki. She didn't want to marry him, but she didn't exactly like the idea of a dead Ranma smeared across school grounds... "This is the third floor!" She stared at the already falling Ranma.

"No sweat, I'm...." Ranma left off as he looked down. "Aw, chikushou."

Yasha, this is gonna hurt.

Yasha just braced herself as best she could without physically existing.

Had Ranma looked back up a little, he would have seen Kunou's eyes bug out almost as far at the drop as they had at the whole "Thundering Gay Dirt Oar" thing. As good (or passable, at least) as he was, even he wouldn't consider diving out a third story window to be within the realm of 'doable'. At least, not without injuring oneself.

SPLASHHHHHH!!!!!

Yasha had just enough time in control before blacking out to bubble out an underwater, understated, and grossly undervolumed, "Ow."

Akane winced. That HAD to hurt. Of course, not as much as it would have if there hadn't been a pool there, but still.

"Look!" sait Hiroshi, pointing at the pool. "The Burbling Fruity Muddy Stick is floating to the top!"

Akane winced again, wondering where THAT one came from. It wasn't even especially funny when it got that mixed up.

"And what happened to Ranma?"

Akane blinked for a moment. Ranma cold water = ..... "Crap." She decided to go for some hot water.

Kunou floated a little higher in the water as Yasha's unconscious form floated up into him, providing enough support to lift him some from buoyancy.

Yasha came to suddenly, almost gasping in a lungful of water, before heaving herself high enough in the water to drag a draught of air. Odd, treading water wasn't usually this difficult. She coughed a few times, spitting out chlorinated water, Eugh..., and noticed that it was also rather dark.

Oh. A deranged kendoist resting on your head WOULD make it harder. That and feeling like you'd been ironed all down your front.

Then Kunou came to, and she revised her statement to read "A deranged, perverted kendoist."

"RANMA SAOTOME! I FIGHT ON!" Kunou shouted in Yasha's ear, grabbing something that, while somewhat handle-shaped on some individuals, was definitely not INTENDED for use as a handle.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shrieked Yasha, mostly in pain, but some in mortification, and in fear of being found out.

This wasn't very good.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have been informed that Yasha, as I described her, resembles the character Inu-Yasha from another of Takahashi-sama's manga. This is not intentional, and not as true as it seems. I beg to remind that when I said Yasha had "pointed ears", I was going more for elf-like than animal-like.

Oh, well.

Futher Author's Notes, 4/25/04:

Wow. This early on in the fanfic, there's really not a lot that I needed to redo, come down to it. Expect, however, that things will start to look significantly different starting within the next couple of chapters. There are a number of scenes that I intend to rewrite, as well as some plot divergences and subplots that need reworking. Oh, and something of an overhaul on the overall major plot, though the end look will be rather similar.

Your dedicated writer,

Selene Starblade


	5. Book 1, Chapter 5: It sucks to succubus

"I... Fight... ......"

Kunou almost left off, miffed at the sudden softness Saotome had gained, and the strange change in his opponent's hair. The flesh his left hand was holding to was rather too limber to be counted as muscle, and the way his face was pressed into the cur's hair was getting unusually uncomfortable- wait, since when did Saotome have brown hair?

"...On??"

"AAAH! Let GO!!!!" Yasha howled as Kunou accidentally wrenched at something both sensitive and already hurting. First slamming into the water, then having to deal with being grappled, then the groping, and finally the manhandling- she was starting to get really upset.

"Eh??" was all Kunou managed to get out before catching an elbow in his face as Yasha spun in place in the pool, and then a double-fist over the head as she started to back away through the water.

Within moments, Kunou had bobbed back up, and got an actual look at his opponent. "DEMON!!" shouted the imbecelic kendoist, practically jumping backwards through the water. "My bokken! Where is my weapon??"

Yasha, eyes teared with pain and anger (damn, but hitting the water had hurt), took the opportunity to duck underwater and swim rapidly to the edge of the pool. As she climbed out, she glanced back to see Tatewaki heading straight for his bokken, which was slowly floating away from him. He'd have caught up to it soon...

She took the opportunity to make a break for the treeline when Kunou wasn't looking. Maybe she could get out of sight before he got his hands on that stick of his. Or on her.

Passenger

Chapter 5: It sucks to Succubus.

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to people who have used old ideas in new ways.

Warning: Okay. I borrowed things. If they're yours, you can have them back when I'm done with them. And yes, I'll be careful not to break them, get them dirty, or misuse them. Don't worry, if I borrowed it from you, it's because I liked it a lot.

Disclaimer: I, the Purple and Green Angel of the Internet, am so misfortunate as to not own most of the characters that will appear herein. Oh, what a foul thing, that such inventive humor should not belong to me! I, the rising star of the college fanfiction world, shall strive to own ALL of my loves! For I cannot decide! They are all so beauteous!

Key:

= English

" " = Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha

Ignoring the pain running all down her front, and the large bruise forming on one breast, Yasha hopped, leapt and ran through the bushes at the edges of the school grounds, trying to make her way around to the gate. She ignored the way some branches tore at the edges of the silks she was wearing, and the leaves that caught in her quills. She just wanted to get out of here.

Akane followed, warm kettle in hand, wondering how someone so unskilled at martial arts as Ranma was when he was like this, could move so quickly across very uneven ground.

Yasha came to a screeching halt as Kunou jumped into the bushes just ahead of her, turning to face her with bokken raised from the only open spot in that direction. He WOULD pick now to become competent, wouldn't he?

"Fool!" he crowed triumphantly. "You thought I would not see how you were trying to escape? I have deduced your true nature, Saotome!" Tatewaki took a moment to laugh maniacally as he revealed his intelligence. Surely, this foul one would surrender in face of the evidence of his ability to see the truth.

Stop laughing.

Yasha blinked, forgetting her panic for a moment as she wondered why, if the kendoist had figured it out, he was still pursuing her. She absently removed a rather annoying stick from where it had fallen between her ear and head.

"Now, vile succubus, you shall perish for attempting to seduce the wonderous Akane!"

Ah, there we go. That made a lot more- oh, shit. Achieving a new grip on her panic, Yasha took it and ran, out into the field. She was only a short ways out before she felt a sharp pain in her side and found herself flying sideways five feet, to land on her back. Yasha winced as she sat up, right hand immediately going to her side, just below her ribcage. Under the water already in the cloth, she didn't notice the blood- but it had started to stain the white silk a pale pink color.

Apparently, Kunou was much faster than her.

Somewhere in the bushes, Akane cursed and tried to free her school dress from the nest of brambles Yasha had dodged around. Why did she have to try to run away through such difficult terrain?

Grimacing in pain, Yasha got to her feet just in time to jump back as Kunou's overhanded swing lodged his bokken in the ground. Seeing that she couldn't get away from this one, she ran straight for the kendoist, attempting to get to him before he could retrieve his weapon.

Just as Tatewaki raised his bokken overhead with the force of having wrenched it from the ground, Yasha slammed headfirst into his stomach. And kept going. Kunou's heels dragged in the grassy soil as the girl plowed forwards, refusing to stop until she absolutely had to.

Ten feet later, she fell over forward onto him, already pounding him with her small fists. She hadn't much power, but the sheer number of swings she was making pretty much ensured that the kendoist would be bruised at the ribs for a while.

By this time, a small crowd had gathered in front of the school doors and was growing. Nabiki, at the forward edge, looked around for Akane. She had gone to get some hot water, but where was she? Shouldn't she be here already, helping Ranma? It was obvious that the small demon-girl stood very little chance against the Blue Thunder, and that was uninjured. The soft pink stain on the side of her oversized white shirt and the angry red color of her face and arms made it obvious that she wasn't in peak condition.

Kunou shoved the demon off of him, barely noticing the light pink stain that had spread onto his own dogi a little. A new grip was taken on his bokken with both hands as Tatewaki drew himself up into a low, half-crouched position.

"You shall not take me, foul demon! You wretched, whoreson beast! I shall destroy you!" he shouted, swinging sideways and just missing as she rolled backwards. Had Yasha been watching, she would have noticed him overbalance a little, unable to compensate as well as he wished. "Satan's plaything! Corrupter of souls! You shall not open your legs to consume another person so long as I live!" The words themselves were largely out of Yasha's realm of comprehension, but the tone was all too clear, and she caught enough every now and then to get a general idea.

Much like Akane, Yasha was very much capable of being stubborn and goatheaded. Like Akane, she did not take well to being insulted. Like Akane, she had very combative instincts, not well suited to verbal barbs or diplomacy. Thus, she responded a lot like Akane.

Yasha half-stood, crouched, and growling. Her tail lashed rapidly as she glared at Kunou with hard crimson eyes. This... this asshole with a wooden stick would not get away with this. Oh, she didn't expect to win, but she'd do whatever she could to make sure he didn't have it easy. Her knees bent, then flexed, as she launched herself into a short running charge at the upperclassman.

Kunou swung his bokken, and hit her in the side of the head, knocking her to the left. As Yasha started to get up, he charged right back at her swinging his weapon in an overhead blow designed for maximum force. To his surprise, she glared up at him, and caught the blow on her right forearm.

KRAKK!

Several people watching turned green at the sound, and Nabiki, no longer willing to wait for Akane, ran to get some warm water herself, lest Ranma get himself killed. Had Kunou been merely trying to pound Ranma for calling him names, she would have been fine with it, more or less. But she wasn't about to let him KILL Ranma.

Bracing her arm against the bokken which the kendoist was still pressing down on forcefully, Yasha swiveled under the weapon and lashed out with a one-footed mule-kick, catching Kunou in the gut. With a whooshing sound of escaping breath, he fell back, sitting down. Turning the rest of the way around, Yasha leapt straight for him, lashing out with both hands, despite the distinct possibility of one arm being broken. She was beyond caring, running on adrenaline now. The shallow cuts on her side and arm weren't helping any, but she still managed to club Kunou upside the head with her right arm, wrapping the other about his shoulder, and digging her fingernails painfully into his back.

With a ferocity that stunned even Ranma, watching from inside her head, she took the opportunity to bite down on Kunou's shoulder. Hard. Elongated fangs pierced skin and flesh, forcing holes in the rough cotton of the kendo dougi.

"Aarrh!" Exclaimed Kunou, in pain. He reached up with his left hand, grabbing the small girl by the throat and trying to pry her off of him. He winced as she put her knee in his groin at the same time as she continued to tighten her jaws with impressive force. Blood ran from where her fangs had punctured his hakama and skin, and he could feel his collarbone being forced to bend.

Soon, however, her grip weakened from lack of oxygen, and Kunou was able to pry her off and throw her back, leaving her coughing and him still in quite a bit of pain.

Slowly, Yasha started to get up, as Kunou stood, lopsided, bloodied shoulder turned away from Yasha.

They both stood, breathing heavily, Kunou slowly bleeding from the shoulder, and Yasha bloodied on her side, with some of Kunou's blood smeared across her face. The crimson about her mouth was a marked contrast to the pale-pink color of her blood running slowly from her right forearm, and staining the white silk on her right side.

Glaring, Kunou decided it was time for his special technique. His opponent obviously warranted such an action. Her ferocity was.... astounding, almost disturbing, even for a demon.

He ran straight at her as she braced herself, tail still lashing quickly. Even addled with pain, anger, and adrenaline, her brain told her that something in the way he was moving was very dangerous.

"Thousand strikes! YATATATATATATATATATATA!!"

Yasha found herself being hit all over. Very, very hard. Time seemed to slow down, and it took her forever to be thrown out of range of the attack and it's waves of air pressure. The sheer number of blows had held her up in the air momentarily, and several loud cracking noises had sounded out as the almost literal spray of bokken thrusts hit her.

Kunou sagged. That had been much harder with one hand. He watched the half-conscious demon fly back almost twelve feet, bouncing once, to land on her front, unmoving aside from an occasional twitch in her tail, and shallow breathing. Obviously, the foul succubus was still alive. He would have to fix that, now.

The small demon-girl lay there, now bleeding from her nose and mouth as well, hurting in places she didn't even know she had owned to hurt in. Numerous small cuts riddled her arms and legs, and her sides, and she could feel a few things shifting that should have stayed in place.

Well, Ranma.... I guess this is it.... It's been nice knowing you... Never before had Yasha felt this much pain and inability in herself, and only once had she even come close. She would have a hard time believing herself able to survive this.

No, Yasha. NO. It won't be. Not after all I've done in my life, I won't be beaten by some arrogant, stick-wielding, MORON! I won't allow it! Ranma tried to move their body, but it simply wouldn't budge.

Give it up, man.... Sometimes, Ranma, there's just nothing you can-

Yasha cut off to scream in pain as Kunou stomped on her tail with an audible CRUNCH. Idly, she noted that her lungs were actually still working, and, by the way she failed to cough up any blood, weren't even punctured by any of the broken ribs she could feel.

"Now, foul demon, vile succubus from the pits of hell, you shall urk"

This time, it was Kunou who was cut off, by a desperate Akane, who had hit him in the head with the kettle. VERY HARD. Warm water was wasted, splashed all across Kunou, as he was sent flying to the left a good fifteen feet. As the kendoist got to his feet, Nabiki clubbed him over the head with her own hot-water kettle. Kunou went back down, but kept trying to get up. Panicked, lest he start beating on poor Ranma again, Akane ran over with the mangled kettle in hand, and bashed him over the head five more times. And then another three for good measure. Nabiki, still surprised at herself for having hit Kunou with a kettle like that, merely watched.

This time, the kendoist got the hint and fell unconscious.

Akane and Nabiki ran over to Ranma-Yasha, to take her to the second place they could think of: Doctor Touhuu's clinic. (The first place they'd thought of was the hospital, but that wouldn't have worked at all. For mostly obvious reasons.)

Ono Touhuu looked down at the barely-conscious demon-girl lying on his examination table. If what Akane said was true, and it probably was, with Nabiki backing it up...

Then this very female, rather small demon was actually a highly trained male martial artist of considerably greater size. And if she WAS male, then having Akane and Nabiki around...

Besides, those two were looking slightly ill.

"Ah... Ranma? Would you like Akane and Nabiki to leave?"

Ranma-Yasha nodded weakly.

Relieved, Akane and Nabiki ran for Touhuu's bathroom, presumably to donate their breakfasts to the local sewer system. The way Ranma's leg was bent... all that blood...

Examining his patient, Touhuu set to step one: reading the patient's aura and making them feel at ease. He carefully ignored the wet noises from the restroom. Maybe with a more detailed examination of Ranma's aura, he could figure out what exactly it was that had been bugging him before about it.

"So, you've been learning martial arts from your father, have you?"

Ranma-Yasha snorted, then winced. That hadn't felt good at all.

"Oyaji teach.... only Ranma..." She whispered out. "Not me... Say demon should.... not learn from him... wouldn't teach..."

Ah. There it was. There was an extra layer...

"Oh, that's right. Your father thinks a demon has taken over your cursed form, or something along those lines." Touhuu spoke distractedly, his attention still on Ranma's chi aura. Layers, yes... one like he would expect from a highly trained male martial artist, the other was....

She laughed softly at this, then winced, barely restraining the impulse to curl up into a ball.

Why haven't... you started yet?... According to.... Akane, you... can work wonders... Yasha instinctively defaulted to English as she spoke- she couldn't concentrate enough to be even vaguely coherent in Japanese.

She was interrupted as Touhuu exclaimed in surprise.

Ahah! Well, whoever you are, because you definitely aren't Ranma, I'm not familiar with your... demon, I'd suppose... physiology.

Yasha blinked. You... can tell?

Of course. Stated Touhuu, nodding his head sagely. You have two auras, and one of them has been suppresed to your head. Given what the others have told me, this "Ranma" is in control when it's his body, and you're in control when it's your body. Am I right?

Well, Ranma, looks like the secret is out, at least as far as the good doctor's concerned... May as well admit it, yes?

I suppose so. Just, get him not to tell anyone else.

Yes, doctor.. you're right. I don't suppose... you could... not tell anyone.... about this? I... I mean, it's.... not like I mean... Ranma any harm... Heck, I'm not sure.... how I got here... Okay?

Well, I suppose so, though you're going to have to tell somebody. You can't keep this sort of thing a secret forever.

Yasha sighed slightly, suppressing yet another wince. I guess. I could.... use someone to... talk to, too... Y'know, get a... load off, and... all that. Couldja... get to it already? Even if... I'm not gonna die.... it sure feels like it...

Okay. Be warned, this may hurt. And I won't lie to you, if it does, it will hurt a LOT. I've got to find out what's broken.

Akane and Nabiki, having returned to the waiting room in the clinic, winced at the screams of a demon-girl in pain. Occasionally they would cast slightly horrified, sympathetic glances at each other. Something seemed just... surreally disturbing about what was going on right now.

Pink blood? Isn't that interesting. Here, let's just put some antiseptic on that gash in your side...

After a particularly loud one (YES that rib hurt, and NO it did NOT feel good when he pushed on it like that from that side there), Akane made up her mind and turned to Nabiki, who was starting to turn a bit green at the gills again.

"Ah, Nabiki? Maybe you should head home, tell our family and Mr. Saotome what happened... Maybe get them prepared for this. Just... don't have them come here, alright?"

Eager to get away from the blood-curdling screams, Nabiki nodded quickly, grabbed her bag, and walked at a decorous pace out of the clinic. Wouldn't do to look panicked.

Akane remained in the seat, trying to read a magazine, and failing miserably as she often winced hard enough to turn pages. Before long the hapless media was reduced to a crumpled wad of paper, rather reflective of the girl's current state of mind.

"ITAIIIII!"

"And THAT's broken, TOO?? My, that's quite a workover you got. It's a wonder your face isn't damaged. Hmm. THAT doesn't look quite right... let's see..."

The next few words out of Yasha's mouth were of the type generally considered unprintable.

Akane stood up as the door opened, the screams having ceased a good ten minutes previously. Of course, the silence hadn't been any better for her nerves, but at least she wasn't wincing anymore.

Out stepped Ranma-Yasha, on a crutch, with her left leg and right arm in casts, and a neck brace. There was an obvious bulge of bandaging about her midsection and ribs, and a splint on a section of her tail. The whole thing couldn't be splinted, it had a tendency to try to lash and wind up smacking against everything. She kept her jaw mostly closed, on account of it having a fracture all to itself (joy.). Most of the rest of her was bandaged, and Touhuu was helping her along.

Akane stepped over to Ranma-Yasha quickly, taking Touhuu's place. This made things considerably easier for the smaller girl, as Akane, while still much taller than her, was more of a size to her than the rather tall doctor.

"Okay, Akane, here's how it goes: Normally, for such extensive injuries, I would recommend she get a hospital stay of about a month- maybe more. But, for pretty apparent reasons, that's not possible. Among other things, the government would probably try to take Ya- uh, Ranma here away for "research". So, Ranma's going to have to take it easy for a month at least, I would think. That means no martial arts, no dancing, no running, no leaving the house. I'm not even sure Ranma should be walking, but she has assured me that nothing seems to shift when she does so. Furthermore, you must avoid triggering the curse by any means necessary. There's no telling what will happen if you do. It may even kill Ranma, by causing a broken rib to spear something vital. So NO WARM FLUIDS are to be allowed ANYWHERE NEAR Ranma."

Akane nodded emphatically as Yasha looked a bit glum. Ranma might be okay with being stuck in the back of their head for a month, but it still felt wrong to do that to him. Of course, she hadn't much choice about it at this point, but still.

"Here are some painkillers that ought to work alright on her, although I'm not entirely sure. Regardless, just to be safe, and I told Ranma this too, she gets at most one every four hours. No more than that. After a month, Ranma is to return here, with someone along to help get here, and I'll open the casts and examine her again. The bandages should be replaced every day, preferably every 16 hours or so, but every day should be alright. I need someone to stay near her at all times, because she won't be able to get up if she falls down without risking hurting herself further. Understood?" Asked the doctor, handing Akane a large medical box of bandages after putting a medically-labeled bottle in it.

"Yes, doctor." Chorused Akane and Ranma-Yasha, unintentionally in unison.

"Okay, go on home, and hopefully I won't need to see you again for a month."

It was about this point that something caught Akane's attention, that had been vying for it almost since the beginning of Touhuu's speech.

"Anou... you said.... She?" Akane looked more carefully at the small girl she was helping to support. Yes, Ranma's overall build and facial shape was much lighter like this, but....

Touhuu blinked. "Yes. Ranma here is a girl like this. Believe me- I did have to do some fairly extensive work. How could you not notice?"

Akane gave Yasha a hard look, under which the smaller girl looked down, somewhat ashamed.

Yasha limped down the street, leaning on a crutch and an Akane for support. Due to size differences, the crutch was a lot more helpful than the Akane. She idly wondered if she could get Akane exchanged for a more useful object. And a less talkative one.

"I'm very sorry," apologized Akane, "But I warned you about Kunou. Plus, it wasn't very smart jumping into the swimming pool like that.."

"So I not see it. Was accident." Yasha grumbled. Even if she couldn't really use a crutch on the right with her arm broken, she really didn't need the commentary.

"Oh, come on. Like you could have survived a three-story drop onto concrete?"

"As male, I could, yes."

Akane neglected to comment.

Okay, it's been pointed out that a few things I do are different from how they are in canon. Tough. This isn't canon. Second, Yes, I know some of my name spellings are straight Romaji, while others are the accepted canon translations. I just went with whatever I felt looked best. Third off, in the manga, Akane DOES say "I hate men" just before charging into the Hormone Herd outside Furinkan. I know, I know, she only hates immature males, and that's why most people put "I hate BOYS". But when you're pissed off, you tend to lose track of small discrepancies like that. I'm sorry it offended you so much that I do these things. If they detract that much from reading this, then go ahead and stop reading it. It won't hurt me any, and besides, how will I know?

Anyways, please send more criticism of the constructive kind instead. Just saying I did something wrong in your opinion or that what I wrote is boring or just the same as something else is NOT CONSTRUCTIVE. Feel free to make suggestions, although I will warn you that I probably won't use very many of them. I have my view of the Ranmaverse based on my readings and such, and everyone else has theirs. I can change my mind and probably will if someone comes up with something good, but I know what I think so far. Everyone is welcome to their own interperetation.

I hadn't expected to be plowing my way through this quite so quickly, but inspiration will strike when inspiration strikes, ne?

Jaa, matta ashita!

Further Authors' Notes, 4/24/04

So, the rewriting continues. I hope you all out there like the changes I've made, because I've made them, and they're staying that way, like it or not.

Biiiiiiidah.

Seriously, though, enjoy this work, I know I've enjoyed providing it.

Be well, and fight on!

- Selene Starblade


	6. Book 1, Interlude: Altered TV theme wtra...

We see the 1st season Ranma TV theme song start, as usual.

Voice: Yappappaa, yappappaa, Iishanten

Hashagu koi wa ike no koi.

Yappappaa, yappappaa, iishanten

Mune no tai wa dakaretai

Suddenly the music stops.

Yasha: ::walks onscreen in front of frozen images:: Hold it! This isn't the same thing over again! You're all wrong! Remember that there are more of us this time around! Make space for the new people! Lets try it again!

There is a rewinding sound.

Yasha: ::walking back offscreen:: Take two!

Chorus: Ranmaaa......

A panda face flickers on the screen, then we see Yasha ballet dancing in clothes that fit her worse than they did onna-Ranma onscreen where originally onna-Ranma was doing a kata, but little pandas are still doing katas in the background

Chorus: Yappappaa yappappaa iishanten

(Yappappaa yappappaa, one move from a win)

Hashagu koi wa ike no koi

(My love is a cheerful pond koi)

Chibi-Yashas are now tap-dancing in the background while Ranma, Panda-san, and.... Kasumi??? Yes, that is indeed Kasumi... are practicing katas

Chorus: Yappappa yappaappaa iishanten

(Yappaappaa yappaappaa, one move from a win)

mune no tai wa dakaretai

(This wish that my heart has is to be embraced.)

In order, Yasha, Kasumi with a broom, and a green rabbit with a yellow and black bandana flash on the screen.

Now we see Kasumi sweeping rhythmically in time with the music.

Kasumi's Voice: Wake mo wakarazu ni

(The petal and the blockhead are here)

Now Kasumi sweeps, Ranma runs, and Panda-san eats, all in time with the music.

Kasumi's Voice: Ranma, Ranma de

(Ranma, Ranma the)

Hi ga kureru

(Daylight's growing dark.)

And now we also see Souun crying, head rising and falling, and we see Ryouga juggling large rocks, also in time.

Kasumi's Voice: Kimi to atte kara

(From the day I met you)

Ranma, Ranma de

(Ranma, Ranma the)

Nabiki and Akane are added, Nabiki counting money and Akane breaking formerly ornamental concrete blocks. Everyone is still going in rhythm.

Kasumi's Voice: Nanda-kanda to

(Confusing problem of)

Kuno practicing with his bokken while wearing Shinto wards on a headband, and Xian Pu, mixing a potion, are added on, somehow doing this in time with the others, who have by now been shrunk quite a bit to make them fit on the screen, everyone facing random directions.

Kasumi's voice: Sutta monda no

(Something or other is)

Kho Lon pogoes on her stick around a ribbon-flailing Kodachi while the guide tosses Azusa and Mikado into a spring and Touhuu dances with Betty-chan, and a green-haired lady is doing calligraphy on a very big scroll.

Kasumi's voice: Seikimasu.

(troubling we two.)

The screen shows Yasha's head, she is smiling, sticking her tongue out slightly, and making a "v for victory sign" with one hand by her face.

The "Ranma 1/2" logo flashes for a bit.

Kasumi's voice: Naze motto shizuka ni

(Why is it you are still so quiet)

Kasumi is cooking with a stove.

Kasumi's voice: "Suki da yo" to ienai no?

(and don't say to me "I love you"?)

Now Yasha is cutting vegetables next to her.

Kasumi's Voice: Moshimo ashitachi heishin

(If we advance together)

Hiyokunotori hairu.

(we will enter a happy couple.)

We see various shots of Kasumi and Ranma dancing what appears to be a samba, then Souun grabbing Ranma and dragging him away.

Kasumi's Voice: Beru mo narasazu ni

(Without even ringing the doorbell)

soyokaze no yoo ni

(Like a breath of fresh air)

Ranma practices a ground kata (as opposed to the usual Musabetsu Kaketou Ryu aerial ones).

Kasumi's Voice: Mune no wan-ruumu

(To the one-room beneath my breast)

Ranma pauses, and looks at the camera.

Chorus: Sumitsuita kimi na no....

(You come and board yourself in.)

Kasumi sits, watches, and pops the bubble instead of Akane.

Chorus: Meiwaku yo, dakedo...

(You are troublesome, even so...)

The camera pans up a standing Kasumi.

Kasumi's Voice: Konya dake ii wa

(It's okay to stay tonight)

Kasumi turns her head and shoulders, causing her ponytail to fly up over her far shoulder.

Kasumi's Voice: Ashita made ii wa...

(At least, until tomorrow....)

Yasha and Ranma, on opposite sides of the screen, only their heads visible, do the same, causing a pigtail and a mass of brown quills to fly up over their far shoulders.

As whistles blow, there is another series of images:

Panda-san with a pipe.

Touhuu, some lady with green hair, and the Juusenkyo guide (Touhuu is holding Betty-chan up).

Nabiki looking over her shoulder at the camera.

Kasumi cheerfully with an arm around Ranma's shoudlers, Ranma looks surprised and slightly embarrassed.

The guide making a Kamehameha gesture.

Tatewaki and Kodachi glaring menacingly.

Ryouga facing off against Xian Pu, Ryouga with his umbrella, and Xian Pu with a really long sword.

The running images start up again, in time with the lines Kasumi sings.

Kasumi's Voice: Koi ni narisoo de

(Although this might turn into love)

Ranma, Ranma de

(Of my Ranma, the)

Tanma-tanma de

(Moment's time-out, the)

Sonna mon ne to

(Way we are now is,)

But on the last line...

Kasumi plus Chorus: Otomodachi

(That we are just friends)

Kasumi and Ranma run up to the screen and stand side by side, her arm on his shoulders, his about her waist, with a ghostly image of Yasha floating behind them, hugging both of them by the neck.


	7. Book 1, Chapter 6: The future begins to ...

"...shouldn't have begun that act anyways!" Genma's voice was audible clearly despite the fact that Akane and Ranma-Yasha had only just passed through the front gate. "So the boy got hurt a little! Good! Maybe this will teach him-"

"'Hurt a little'?!" Came Nabiki's equally loud retort. "Ranma's got at least two broken limbs!! How does that qualify as 'hurt a little'???"

Ranma-Yasha groaned as she limped, still supported by Akane, up to the door, letting the larger girl open it. The youngest Tendou helpfully removed her shoe for her, before switching to her own house-slippers. The shouted argument continued heedless of Akane's call of 'Tadaima'.

"HAH! Two broken limbs. Not with the way **I** trained him! He's probably just acting up for sympathy. If I was there, he wouldn't dare to play things up like that!"

"Play up NOTHING!!! I HEARD her screaming in pain when Touhuu was setting her bones! You DON'T scream like that as faking! What the hell is wrong with you?!?"

Yasha sighed heavily as Akane assisted her down the hall, the larger girl steaming more than a little, but she was able to hear Souun's, much calmer, voice cutting into the 'conversation'.

"Now, Nabiki-chan, calm down a little. Shouting won't help any. Saotome-kun, do you really believe your son would simply act as though he were injured that badly? Besides, I trust Touhuu-sensei implicitly with my life and those of my daughters. If he didn't think anything was unusual about Ranma being in pain, I am hardly going to believe that the child was 'just acting'."

It was at about this point, as Ranma-Yasha and Akane were approaching the kitchen doorway, that Kasumi stepped out of it into the hall. Wiping her hands off on the edges of her apron, she nodded to herself, and turned to go down the hall. On seing Yasha's state, though, she stopped dead.

"MASAKA!!!"

Passenger

Chapter 6: The Future Begins To Look Hazy

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to new writers, and writing as well as you can.

Warning: Just in case you haven't read this enough times, I borrow stuff. From all sorts of people. It's not plagiarism, I don't do it exactly the same. I hope.

Disclaimer: They AREN'T MINE, you bakas! Stop chasing me around about it! I never asked for them! You hear me? THEY'RE ALL PERVERTED JERKS! Who's a tomboy? RANMA NO BAKA!!! WHAM

Key:

=English

" " =Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha

(AN: No, Yasha's current name isn't permanent.)

Souun was first into the hall, rushing to the supposed rescue of his beloved eldest daughter, only to come to a desperate, screeching halt just before he could run into Yasha. He held firm as Nabiki crashed into him in her own bid to stop before she could run him into the injured demon-girl. A few seconds later, Genma ambled warily into the hall, taking in the scene.

Slowly, carefully, Kasumi stepped towards Yasha, who had started staring at the floor. "Masaka..." the eldest daughter breathed. "You poor girl.... That... hurts a lot, doesn't it?"

Ranma-Yasha nodded slightly, hindered by the neck brace and the odd pulling sensation she got in her neck whenever she moved her head. At least she could still turn her eyes.

"Do you want to rest?" The homemaker asked, receiving another slight nod in response.

"Ranma!" Genma exclaimed, interrupting, "How could you fail me so! How could you let this happen! To be... what DID happen, exactly?"

"Baka oyaji." Came the muttered response. Kasumi, ignoring the elder Saotome, took Yasha-Ranma's weight from her younger sister, moving to help the demon-girl to the guest room. As Akane started talking quietly with Nabiki, Souun caught Genma's arm, preventing him following Kasumi and Yasha. At his old friend's questioning look, Souun shook his head, and practically dragged Genma into the living room.

He was cracking around the edges by the time he entered the door.

Dinner was again a rather quiet affair at the Tendou-ke.

"..and I guess Mr. Saotome can't really sleep in the same room as poor Ranma for now. I know! She can sleep in my room. I'll get out the extra futon. Of course, we can't move her when she's already asleep, so Ojisan can sleep in the dojo tonight. Oh, and I can keep Ranma company during the day, because I'm home most of the time! Oh, this is wonderful! Not poor Ranma getting hurt of course. That's just awful. I'm sure that Kuno-san will be sorely punished for that. What I meant, was that it's wonderful that Uncle, Father and I are here all day to keep poor Ranma company, and care for her. And when she's recovered enough, I can start teaching her my recipies..."

Or would have been, but Kasumi had decided to make up for the lack of speech from the others by conversing enough for all of them. None of them noticed of course, being deep in thought.

Akane was thinking of what she would do to Kuno for this. Maybe if she took his bokken and rammed it THERE, and then tied his sleeves like so.... It wasn't that she thought Ranma was anything but another perverted boy (who happened to have a really weird curse), it's just that Kuno really needed a lesson this time. That's all. Nothing else. Really.

Nabiki was thinking of what she would do to Kuno for this. Maybe he would think twice if he were several hundred thousand yen less rich... Now, how to get the money off of him.... Maybe anti-demon charms? No, too ironic. Hmmm...

Souun wasn't thinking of what he would to do Kuno for this. Nor was he noticing that Nabiki's little winged yen bills were roosting on his shoulder. He was, however, crying faster than he ate (#71: My Son In Law Got the Tar Beaten Out of Him and is Stuck as a Girl for Now, and simultaneously # 4: My Eldest Daughter Cooks So Well).

Genma was trying to think. To his credit, he was accomplishing a reasonable facsimile of thinking about something other than food, sleep, and training Ranma. It wasn't quite right, though. It went something like this:

Ranma wouldn't lose that badly to a high school kendo hobbyist. And there were no serious martial artists in the school at the moment. So, that meant that something really was up with Ranma's cursed form. Aha! That was the key! There must have been a demon in the spring! That would explain Ranma's cursed form's odd appearance. So, that was a demon inhabiting his son's body, and... and trying to get him to teach it martial arts! Yes, yes, he could see now. So all he would have to do is only train it in martial arts he knew he could easily defeat, and then when it thought it had everything and made its bid, he could stop it and be the hero! Yes, that was the ticket. So he COULD teach the demon- he'd just have to be careful what he taught it. And be sure to use weaker training methods than with Ranma... yes, he could do this....

Shaitan grinned evilly. No, more evilly. No, that's demented. I mean EVILLY. As in, normally he only grins kind of evilly, now he was grinning so evilly that the top of his head had almost split off. Watching Genma was going to be fun. If he couldn't stop the hail down here, he could at least get a vacation.

Then a particularly sharp one landed on his foot, and he proceeded to jump around a bit, cursing.

Yahweh sat on Yggdrasil, monitering things through a few flatscreens. This Doublet thing was fun. Especially since, via Yggdrasil, you could watch your Doublet counterpart...

Yasha woke up, sat up reflexively, and almost screamed.

That HURT. It wasn't the sharp pain she'd felt when Touhuu had been bandaging her up, nor the dull soreness from just after Kunou had played pinata with her. It was more of an 'And now your spine is full of daggers, and every motion makes them swim around in your flesh, isn't that wonderful!'

In the back of her mind, Ranma, protected by his unconsciousness, roused enough to protest the fact that it was morning and painful this damned early, and went back to sleep.

Yawning thinly, in an attempt not to aggravate her jaw and neck injuries, Yasha looked at the clock on the wall. Yep. 5:00 AM. Couldn't get away from that damned internal alarm clock even by travelling halfway around the globe, what had made her think getting pulped would turn it off?

Oh, well. Nothing for it but to get up. Now... with these casts like this, she would have to...

Twisting about in a way that would have surprised anyone but an experienced contortionist, and that left her gasping in pain, Yasha managed to get herself standing with the crutch under her left arm. She noted idly, as she tried to catch her breath, that she really shouldn't do that again ever. Carefully, she straightened out her newly-amputated pajamas (the ones with the little demon-repelling ofuda decoration pictures) and step-thumped her way to the... stairs? Oh, yeah. Late last night, Kasumi had enlisted her father to move Yasha upstairs to share a room with here. The demon-girl blink blinked. She hadn't even noticed what the room looked like. Sighing ( VERY SLOWLY), she vowed to pay more attention next time.

Ten minutes later, she reached the bottom of the stairwell just as Kasumi started down the stairs herself, headed for the bath.

"Wait, Ranma- I'll give you a hand." She directed, in a tone that clearly implied that this was just a polite command. "You shouldn't be up and about on your own, without your neck brace on. Really- you might injure yourself more if you're not careful." She chastized, finishing as she reached the foot of the stairs.

"Am sorry, Kasumi-san... Is just, I awake, and I not want wait with no do. I was take bath now... Will wait for you, yes?" Yasha would have looked down but for the need to avoid moving her neck unneccesarily.

To her utmost surprise, Kasumi looked her in the eyes without appearing at all disturbed, smiled and said kindly, "You'll do no such thing. I will help you bathe. You certainly can't clean all of yourself with those casts on, can you? You won't be able to reach everything."

The smaller girl grinned ruefully, taking her arm off the crutch for a moment. "Wanting to bet?" She asked, folding her left arm behind her, elbow at her spine, and waving to Kasumi over her right shoulder with her left hand, palm away from her own back. "Besides," She continued, regaining her grip on the crutch with little difficulty, "Am really boy. Are you sure is okay? I think... ah... father of Kasumi... would be very upset to find out. Is nice for you offer, anyway..."

"Oh, just come on. I really don't mind. Besides, it's not like you haven't seen a girl naked before." Something occured to Kasumi. "You HAVE bathed as a girl before, right?"

Ranma-Yasha nodded. Of course she had. After all, heated rivers and lakes weren't exactly common, and most hot springs had entrance fees. Not that that had ever stopped Genma, but she ( and Ranma ) tended to have slightly better social morals than him. On his best day. And their worst.

"Well, then, it's not a problem. Besides, noone's getting a bath if we stand here talking all morning. Here, I'll help you there."

Aquiescing, although not entirely reluctant, Yasha submitted to Kasumi's aid, both in heading to the bathroom, and getting undressed.

Feeling very naked, Yasha looked around. This was her first time in a genuine traditional Japanese bathroom. Back before she'd joined Ranma, she'd heard all sorts of wonderful things about what a good soak in a furo could do for you, and as, at the time, she'd been too large to actually be mostly underwater in an American bathtub, had been looking forward to the experience. Since she couldn't soak in hot water, however, she would have to skip on that one for a while.

Yasha really wasn't looking forward to this morning's bath. With her condition and the casts, she'd have to take a cold sponge-bath. While she was perfectly capable of ignoring cold, cold _and_ wet had always been an altogether different situation for her. And since coming to live with Ranma, in her smaller body, she'd found her physical tolerance for extreme temperatures rather reduced. It irked her to no end.

She turned to face Kasumi as the older girl entered. Kasumi walked up to stand about three feet from Yasha, and looked the smaller girl up and down.

No, Kasumi wasn't interested in Ranma-Yasha's body like THAT. Get your minds out of the gutter.

She was merely taking the opportunity to catalogue the differences between the petite demon's body and a human one. The quills and tail were the most noticable. Yasha, meanwhile, was finding the whole thing rather intimidating. She'd never had anything even remotely like Kasumi's figure, and had rarely seen anything to compare. Maybe it was something in the diet around here? Could have had to do with it being an 'anime' world. Or something....

Kasumi waited for Ranma-Yasha to take a seat.

And waited.

And waited.

The smaller girl was just standing there, looking a bit cold, temperature-wise. She was occasionally looking at the stools or at Kasumi's bucket of bath supplies. She also seemed to be avoiding looking at Kasumi anywhere but her face.

Kasumi sweatdropped. "You... don't know how to use a furo to clean yourself properly, do you..."

Yasha scratched the top of her head, careful not to spear her fingers on her quills. "Ahhhh... I not want look dumb, use wrong thing wrong time or wrong way...." She was gradually getting more nervous. She was sure she was making some sort of a gaffe here, but having never been in a furo bathroom before, she was much more sure that she'd make at least one bigger mistake if she just sort of tried to fake it.

Kasumi took pity on the poor girl, pulling up a couple of stools and gently seating her on one.

Yasha, meanwhile, was trying to figure out if it was good or bad that Ranma was still asleep. On one hand, he could tell her what to do if he was awake. On the other, he would probably be totally freaked out. The first time they had bathed female, he'd almost totally lost it. With Kasumi here, bathing too... She decided not to risk it.

The disparity in size between the two girls became even more apparent when Kasumi and Yasha sat on the stools. Kasumi's knees were level with her belly button, while Yasha's good leg made an almost right angle at the knee.

Hoping fervently that Ranma wouldn't wake up, Yasha took the soapy, damp cloth Kasumi handed her. When Kasumi started cleaning herself, Yasha carefully mimicked her every move, except those that would have involved not wearing a cast. She had to stretch wayyyyyyy out to wash her toes, too- which resulted in a bit of a wince as her ribs shifted a little in the wrong way.

Akane headed down to the bathroom, as usual, at about 5:30, to get a light rinse in before her morning jog. Oh, good, Kasumi was already in there. They could scrub each others' backs. That was always nice, because then she and Kasumi could discuss the goings-on in Nerima of late. It was one of the few places where Kasumi said much, other than "Ara" and "Dinner's ready!"

Unfortunately, Kasumi had gotten Yasha undressed first, so her nightgown was sitting on top of Yasha's pajamas, concealing them.

Ranma-Yasha blinked as Kasumi motioned for her to turn around.

"You want I turn around?" She asked, puzzled.

"Of course. How else would I wash your back for you?"

Yasha was even more glad Ranma was still "asleep". She turned around. "Just touch only as much as need for cleaning."

Nodding, Kasumi started by taking hold of the bow on the demon-girl's "ponytail" of quills.

Yasha almost jumped. "Wait, be caref-"

SPROINGG

Kasumi's eyes widened as most of Yasha's quills took to standing straight out from her head, making her look like she was wearing a caffeinated porcupine for a wig. Kasumi had narrowly avoided having her nose scratched by the quills.

Enough quills were still down to give the appearance of long hair, though, and Kasumi carefully lifted them out of the way. Then she began washing the smaller girl's back. Something seemed oddly familiar about this, and it took Kasumi a moment to place it. The demon-girl's body shape was just like Nabiki's and Akane's had each been shortly before they'd stopped taking baths together so often. Right before they started hitting the major changes of puberty. As she scrubbed, she reflected that the younger girl could use it- even if she was eleven or twelve, as her body might suggest, to be that short surely meant something was off. She could use a growth spurt.

Undressed, Akane stepped up to the door into the furo area. She took with her only a towel, not expecting to wash until after her jog. She wasn't using it to cover any "important bits". After all, it was just Kasumi.

Kasumi continued to wash Ranma-Yasha's back until she reached the base of the demon-girl's tail, when she was interrupted by the involuntary arching of the smaller girl's back. Apparently, that spot was rather sensitive.

Right then, Akane opened the furo door.

To see Yasha sitting bolt upright, back arched, and Kasumi (apparently) grabbing the smaller girl's butt.

Three things ran through Akane's mind:

Kasumi is grabbing another (badly injured) girl by the butt, and the other girl looks like she likes it. A lot.

Ranma is in the furo area with Kasumi, and both are naked.

She couldn't pummel Ranma because he was:

a) a girl, and so entitled to be in the furo with other girls

b)injured, and so unable to defend herself, and

c)a guest who might become family.

Kasumi looked wide-eyed at Akane, realizing why her sister had frozen up, and immediately retracted her hand, blushing furiously.

Yasha half-relaxed, then bent 90 degrees left and then right at her waist, causing her spine to emit cement-mixer sounds. And then winced in pain.

Then she noticed Akane, and froze.

Hold tableaux for 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

"Ranmaaaa nooooo..." Wait. Ranma was a girl right now, she couldn't be molesting Kasumi. As a matter of fact, it had looked more like Kasumi was molesting her.

But, Kasumi wasn't a hentai. That just wasn't possible. You might as well try to convince someone in Nerima that a pile of rocks made a good breakfast. Someone HUMAN in Nerima, anyways.

But Ranma wasn't being a hentai either. She was looking Akane in the face, apparently very scared.

Akane absently noted that Ranma-Yasha seemed to have been purring.

Then her mind took the last option.

There were three people here: Her, Ranma, and Kasumi.

Something hentai was being done by someone.

It wasn't Ranma, and it wasn't Kasumi....

Ranma-Yasha and Kasumi looked on in shock as Akane shouted, "AKANE NO HENTAI!!!" And malleted herself in the head. Hard.

The two others continued to look on in shock as Akane, mallet embedded in her own head, gave a 'V' sign with her left hand, and slumped to the floor unconscious. For the next few minutes, a nearby cicada could be heard chirring.

I know, I know. It looks like I've basically pulled Ranma out of this for about a month or so. Emphasis on _looks like._ C'mon, this is a manga/anime, and the main character, too, that we're talking about here. It won't take that long.

I'll bet now different people are complaining that we don't get to see how Ranma will deal with Yasha having her menarche. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?

And what, exactly, is going to happen with Genma and Yasha?

And will Yasha ever get a real name?

That depends on what I come up with, and when. Please review, but constructive only. If it sucks, say WHY. And suggestions are welcome. Oh, and whoever-it-was that wanted to use my alternative nickname for Kuno, go right ahead. If I wanted to keep it to myself, I wouldn'ta wrote it where everyone else could read it.

Till next time, Jaa, mata!

Secondary Notes, June 28, 2004, 5:46 PM:::

It took me a while to figure out exactly what I wanted to do different with this chapter. From hereon out, things will start being very noticably different from the original version of this 'fic. Hopefully, they will be a marked improvement, but, hey- no promises.

Hopefully, I'll be able to keep a respectable pace on this throughout the summer. Be well, all.


	8. Book 1, Chapter 7: Truth or 'truth?

Ranma-Yasha stood in the door of the Tendou home, and waved to Akane and Nabiki as they left. "Itte rasshai!" she called out, then turned to retreat into the house. Kasumi was cleaning up after breakfast (cold miso soup was definitely inferior to warm, but with Yasha injured like that...), and Souun and Genma were sitting down to their first game of shogi since the Saotomes' arrival.

The small demon-girl was wearing a set of Ranma's chinese clothes (red tang and kung-fu pants), as he was enough bigger than her that the pants fit even with her cast. Besides, she just liked big t-shirts, which was basically what the sleeveless tang became when she was wearing it.

As she stared at the game of Cheat Shogi, her eyes seemed to glaze over. They almost did on their own as she failed entirely to grasp the game, but she interrupted her getting bored to try and "wake" Ranma.

Ranma?

No answer.

Ranma??

No answer.

RANMA!!!!!!!

Nothing.

Yasha thought a moment, then internally grinned.

Suddenly, through her head went the sounds of a drag race, fifty sets of cymbals, a marching band, and an atom bomb exploding. Simultaneously.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! WHAT IS IT?!?! ARE WE GETTING BOMBED?!?!?! WHY CAN'T I MOVE!!!! AAAH! I'M A.... girl. Oh. Good morning, Yasha.

[Look, Tendou, my son is planning to eat you!]

Souun turned to see a rather evil grin on the demon girl, but nothing indicating a plan for cannibalism.

"Nonsense, Saotome, I... Hey, where did those five pieces come from?"

The panda failed to whistle innocently. On both counts.

Passenger

Chapter 7: Truth.... or "truth"?

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to everyone out there who knows what they're doing. And most of the people who don't.

Warning: I borrow stuff. I don't just copy. If I borrowed from you, that means I probably liked your work, because I've read it a lot. It's an indication of my respect for you.

Disclaimer: It's not my fault! OW! Dammit, I didn't DO anything! OW! I said, 'THEY AREN'T MINE!!!' OW!!! STOP HITTING ME WITH THE DAMNED HAMMER ALREADY!

Key:

= English

" " = Japanese

[ ] =Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= internal conversation between our two intrepid main characters

You sleep like the dead, Ranma. Wait, I take that back. The dead would get up earlier.

Yeah, yeah, just because you always wake up at five AM don't mean everyone else wants ta, y'know.

True enough, responded Yasha, walking them to the kitchen, where Kasumi was washing the dishes (with cold water). Although it seems Kasumi here does.

Kasumi smiled a little broader as she heard the smaller girl crutch-step into the kitchen. The expression on Akane's face when they had woken her up and explained the logic of it all to her, was priceless. She hadn't seen anything so funny in years. Perhaps it would really pay to have these two houseguests around.

"Was Akane still blushing when she left?"

Ranma-Yasha laughed. "Yeah. She not look at Nabiki or Tendou-san. Tendou-san get verry worry about Akane, even when leave. Very funny."

Kasumi's smile slipped a little. "I just hope she doesn't think I'm lesbian or anything... That would be very bad." She chewed her lower lip a bit, focusing on a particularly stubborn spot.

The smaller girl blinked. "Why?"

Lesbian? Asked Ranma. What's that? And why would she think that?

It took Yasha a moment of processing to remember that Ranma really didn't know about stuff like that. I'll... ah... tell you later, Ranma.

Finished, Kasumi turned to face her small guest, her smile almost gone, but as incapable of leaving her face entirely as ever. "The only time Akane met a lesbian...." Kasumi's smile took on a sad quality. "The poor girl ended up in the hospital... Akane claimed she was being 'hentai'.... According to the girl's friends, she'd just asked if Akane could give her a hand with her bra in the locker room..."

Yasha paled slightly. "Akane... very angry girl, yes?" Maybe she would have to treat Akane a little more carefully. How had anyone gotten to her age, acting like that, without being arrested for assault or somesuch?

Kasumi sighed. "Yes, Ranma, she is... it's very unfortunate... She wasn't always this angry, you know..." She moved to Ranma-Yasha. "Can we continue the conversation outside? I need to sweep the walk, and some company would be very welcome."

The quilled girl nodded. "Could Kasumi-san help go outside?" The question was really only somewhat of a formality, as the elder girl was already helping her to the door.

Genma and Souun were looking at each other across the shogi board, the game in hiatus for now.

"This makes it difficult to get the two of them together, doesn't it, Saotome." Souun mused, rubbing his chin. Something told him that Ranma wouldn't exactly consider being female conducive to getting people to like the boy.

[Too true, Tendou.] ::flip:: [I do know a few things I could try teaching my.... daughter... to help.... her... heal faster...] ::flip:: [It's almost as hard to write as it is to say, Tendou.] The panda gave a slightly pained expression (as much as a panda can, anyways), and took a sip of his morning tea, smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth at the odd taste of cold tea.

Souun gave his old friend a sympathetic look. "I think I know what you mean, Saotome-kun. I can't imagine what I'd do if one of my girls were to turn into a boy in body, let alone forget themself, at times." He sniffled a bit, but bore up.

Everyone who CAN imagine, raise their hands.

Okay, I can see that we all know how predictable the Tendous' watering system is. You can put your hands down now.

[Well, I agreed to it, and I suppose there's no weaseling out of this one...]

Several of the demons in Hel, most holding umbrellas, found that their preparations were suddenly a moot point, as a blizzard struck.

"Anyways," began Kasumi, as she started to sweep off the walk, "Akane wasn't always this angry. I think it started when Mother died."

Yasha, having figured out by her absence that the Tendou girls' mother had died, nodded. She shifted slightly where she was sitting on the front steps. It wasn't necessarily a correct assumption these days, she thought, what with divorces getting more popular. Come to think of it, what days WERE these days? She was fairly sure it was somewhere post-1990, but where, exactly, she'd be hard put to place. She thought she'd seen a Sega Genesis in a store window, but it could have been the older 8-bit system. Or there was the cell-phone she'd seen, but that could also have been a pager. She hated not having a real head for time.

"It didn't show at first, but then when people tried to talk to her about Mother, she would get upset at them... One day about four years ago, a boy who lived in the area told her she looked pretty, like her mother. I think he liked her, and was trying to give her a compliment... But she was just starting to go through puberty, and I'd had to have 'the talk' with her... and she took it wrong. She beat the poor boy up pretty badly, and ever since then, she's claimed that all boys are perverts. For whatever reason, she doesn't seem to think that about grown men, but I really can't figure that out...."

Yasha sat quietly, putting the pieces into place in her mind. Now it made sense... Sort of. There were a few pieces missing, but they'd be pretty easy to find, she thought.

Ranma, on the other hand, was pretty much totally lost. What was 'the talk'?

"But Akane always much anger when people... ah... mean, right?"

Kasumi nodded, still sweeping. "Yes, she did have a tendency to beat up the other kids if they made fun of someone..." It was certainly an odd thing, to her view. Akane could be great at protecting people, but also just a little too good at jumping to conclusions...

Ranma-Yasha smiled softly. "Is like I. She just have different... begin for anger, and not have so long. Give her year or two to get control it. At that time, only few things make her that angry anymore, unless something very wrong with her."

Smiling broadly now, Kasumi swept one last stroke, and turned to Yasha. "I'm glad you understand... Noone else seems to realize that Akane really is a sweet girl." Kasumi shrugged. "She just has a tendency to be violent at times. Here, lets go around to the back, I've got laundry to hang up."

Ranma-Yasha sat on the back porch, looking at the flowerbeds, and waiting for Kasumi to return with the laundry. It was very nice of Kasumi to spend all this time talking to her. Maybe she should tell the older girl...?

She'd have to consult with Ranma, first.

Ranma?

Yeah, Yasha?

Do you think we should tell Kasumi?

Tell Kasumi what?

Yasha almost thwapped Ranma over the head, before remembering that to do that she'd have to thwap herself over the head. Tell her that we're two different people, Ranma. What did you think I meant, tell her that we're aliens or something?

Oh... Mollified. Well..... I dunno. Maybe talk to her a little more, make sure it's safe. I mean, it seems alright, and she certainly acts nice enough, but I'm not sure yet... Hesitant. Ranma was reluctant to trust Kasumi, he'd only known her for... what, three days? Two?

I suppose you're right. We'll just have to wait for her to come back out here. Yasha sighed. She would have liked to confide in Touhuu, she knew that his being a doctor made him more likely (within limits) to be trustworthy, but she couldn't very well head over there to spend the day on her own.

Kasumi, meanwhile, was having herself a sit down in the laundry room on a handy chair.

"Ara.... I never told anyone that much before... It's nice to have someone to talk to. Something about the way Ranma's acting right now, though.... it's kind of... off... from how she acted before. When she was a he. They're almost..... different? No, it couldn't be.... could it? I mean, she did slip up there, earlier.... But how am I going to make sure without being rude? Oh dear, oh dear..."

It should be noted that the way Kasumi acts is not a result of cluelessness. It is not a result of wearing rose-coloured glasses. It is only partially a result of living in Nerima for so long. Mostly it comes from a desperate desire not to hurt anyone. Which it is difficult to avoid if you make yourself out to be a person who will respond to force. Although there is that part where living in Nerima tends to inure one to wierdness and violence somewhat. Not at all entirely, but to a degree violence and wierdness are looked on as completely normal by Nerimans.

It is said that in Nerima, the richest and smartest people are those who work in the construction industry.

Largely because of the tendency of large wandering lizards, semi-berserk martial artists and supervillains to ignore such unimportant things as large stone walls.

It should also be noted that, in Nerima, noone ever bothered to sue anybody for assault or property damage.

Having composed and prepared herself, Kasumi stepped out onto the back porch with the basket of laundry. It was carefully braced on her hips, her hands gripping the far side as she leaned back to balance out the weight. She had to take a bit of care rounding the corners, but, as usual, she managed it gracefully and smoothly.

Yasha was sitting there, whistling "Bouree" by Jethro Tull. Bare toes whispered through the grass at the edge of the yard as she sat on the not-quite-a-porch, good hand in her lap. Her tail lashed slowly along the floor.

Looking around, Kasumi confirmed that only she and "Ranma" were in the immediate area right now. Smiling slightly at the music, she began hanging up the laundry. There had to be some sort of a question she could ask.

Time passed.

Yasha had just finished whistling McCavity (from "Cats"), when Kasumi asked, calmly, quietly, and out of the blue...

"What's your favorite city, Ranma?"

Without thinking, Yasha answered "San Francisco. Is nice and foggy, and everything there in same place. Is crowded, but not too bad."

Kasumi smiled as she stepped out from behind the sheet she had just hung, and bent over to pull the next one out of the wickerwork basket. Spread, flap, flap, fold, clip, stretch, clip.

Yasha just watched Kasumi while Ranma tried to figure out what was going on here. He had the distinct feeling that he had just been maneuvered, like he would get in a fight sometimes, but damned if he could tell what that had to do with Kasumi's question. He decided not to voice his concern to Yasha.

"Why you ask, Kasumi-san?"

"I just haven't travelled much, Ranma-chan."

Ranma winced. He didn't like that "chan" being there.

Yasha shrugged. "Some don't."

Kasumi kept smiling, and went back to the laundry, humming a bit. It didn't take Yasha long to pick up on the tune, and start up a mild harmony, with a little bit of stumbling occasionally.

Early that afternoon, Ranma-Yasha and Souun sat across from each other in the dojo. Their visages were both serious, if somewhat dulled by boredom. It had been a quiet, uninteresting day, really not worth much note.

"Well, Ranma, my friend Saotome has suggested that I teach you a few things I know that might help you get back in good health again."

The demon-girl would have nodded but for the neck brace, so she settled for "Hai."

"These are some family meditation techniques that I learned from my father. They help to relax your chi and allow it to help heal your physical injuries. Just be aware that, while you are using them, they can have some interesting side effects. Also, a few are addictive." He nodded solemnly. There could be grave consequences.

"Side-effect? What means this?" Yasha asked, unfamiliar with the longer Japanese word.

"Side effects. Like when you take a medicine, and it makes you feel better, but something else becomes wrong."

"Ohhhh. ...what kind side effects?"

In reply, Souun Tendou burst into tears. (# 72: My Future Son-In-Law is Eager to Learn What I Have To Teach, I'm So Happy.)

Yasha sweat-dropped, and Ranma mentally facefaulted.

Genma sat at the family room table, reading the paper. A phone book was beside him, he was planning on looking up that doctor they'd taken his... daughter... to, and speaking to the doctor directly. He still didn't trust that demon. Maybe he could get the sensei to put up some sort of wards or something before the next visit? Or have a monk bless the place. Yes, that might do. He started to flip through the phone book to try and find a temple, first.

Kasumi sat nearby, doing some embroidering.

"Ojisan?" She asked, not looking up from her needlework. Steady rhythm was kept. In, out, pull, check thread. In, out, pull, check thread.

"Yes, Kasumi?"

"You've traveled a lot with Ranma, haven't you?"

Genma looked at Kasumi, wondering why she was taking an interest in this. She must be looking out for her sister. It was good to know that Souun had instilled a certain degree of family protectiveness in his daughters. Now if he could get Ranma in on it... oh, wait, Kasumi's question.

"Yes," He replied, nodding. "We've travelled all over the globe. Except for Europe. Nothing useful there."

"So, you've been to America?"

"Of course. Many great martial artists have travelled there. And Native American fighting styles are a martial art to themselves. We," He continued, meaning his son, "learned a lot of useful things there." Come to think of it, wasn't there an American-style hamburger joint nearby? The phonebook began flipping towards the fast food section.

Kasumi stopped her needlepoint. "Where in America have you been?"

Genma thought hard, as Kasumi resumed the embroidering. He absently wondered what she was embroidering, but focused on remembering where he'd taken Ranma in America.

"Well, first we went to South America, did some survival training in the Amazon. It's amazing how good crocodile tastes. Anyways, then we headed North. Found some interesting foods in Mexico. Not as spicy as Thai, but an entirely different flavour from anything I'd encountered before. Only place that appreciated the value of an afternoon nap, too. Then, in the States, we started off by going to a few dojos in Florida, though they weren't worth much. Just fitness places. There were a few interesting ones in New York, though. That Lawyer-Fu was rather odd, too. No physical combat, but lots of litigation, whatever that is. I decided we didn't need anything from there, either. Besides, they would only teach you in exchange for all your sons for the next five generations."

Kasumi blinked at that, but kept up her steady embroidering.

"From there, we went up into Canada for a ways, came back down into the States on the other side of the Great Lakes. Swam lake Michigan, too. Hah. Great lakes. More like ponds. There weren't even any dangerous animals or anything. Regardless, we then continued through the Dakotas, and made for Texas. Mm. Ranchhouse chili." Genma drifted off.

Kasumi waited for a couple of minutes, but the man didn't pick up his narration.

"Ojisan? Where did you go from Texas?"

"Eh?" Genma sat up, shaking off his reverie. "Oh, right, after Texas. We headed back up across Nevada, and eventually left from Washington, heading up to Alaska, before returning to Japan and preparing for the final leg of our trip, into China." Speaking of legs, he needed to know the best routes for traveling around this district of Toukyou. The pages began turning towards the map.

Kasumi blinked, then checked back over what Genma had said. They'd gone up the East coast, then over to the west, then back south through the center of the U. S., then north along the mountains...

"Didn't you go to San Francisco?"

"No, of course not."

Kasumi stabbed herself with the needle accidentally. Fortunately, she didn't stab hard, and only bled a couple drops before it stopped. She sucked on the tip of her thumb regardless, in part out of thoughtfulness.

"No renowned dojos or fighting styles there. Damned hippies don't bother with that sort of stuff, it seems." Continued Genma, obliviously. "Why do you ask?"

Kasumi wiped her thumb on a tissue, and threw it away. (The tissue, not her finger.)

"Oh, no reason, I just heard from one of my friends that San Francisco is a really nice place to visit. Supposedly it's very pretty, the bay and the ocean."

Genma snorted. "Pretty?! We didn't go to America for Pretty! It was a training trip, girl! We were there to learn martial arts. None of this sitting, gazing at the sunset or any of that pansy crap. Why, if we had..."

Kasumi tuned Genma out as she finished the embroidering. She was right. Now, how to confront 'Ranma' about it....

When Genma noticed that Kasumi was no longer listening, he returned his attention to the search through the phone book for... for... what was it he'd been looking for? He looked down at the open pages in hopes of a reminder, only to find himself looking at the trucking company listings.

Now, what the hell had he wanted with overland shipping? Had to have been important. But he couldn't remember.

The next morning, when Yasha stepped into the kitchen after seeing Akane and Nabiki off, Kasumi was just finishing washing the dishes. As the sink drained, she turned to the smaller girl.

"You're not Ranma, are you." It was not a question.

Yasha sweated.

See? Kasumi ISN'T an airhead.

"I like that food. I like that ravioli best. It's like backwards ramen in sauce."

-Ranma, "Girl Days"

Further notes, June 30, 2004:

Although, by the looks of things, Genma might be.

Just noting.


	9. Book 1, Chapter 8: Drowning in the past

Yasha blinked twice, then cringed, seeming to curl up into herself. She seemed to shrink to half her own size, eyes squeezed shut, shoulders hunched as much as she could without doing something painful to her neck, and her hands curled before her in a half-hearted defensive position.

Kasumi, the only person in this world (with the exception of Ranma, who was more of a brother) that she considered a friend, had just figured out that Yasha wasn't actually just a female Ranma in a demon body with different knowledge. Yasha could feel it coming. She was toast. Kasumi would tell the others, and they'd all hate her, and she'd be back to just her and Ranma, and there would never be another chance to have a friend around here.

But what would come first, that was the worst part. Because every time something had blown up in her face, she had always recieved a verbal thrashing, and those hurt worst of all. She'd endured them from her father, from her teachers, from her "friends"... even, towards the time she'd left her old world behind, she'd even been getting them from her mother, the kindest, most understanding person she'd ever known. And every time someone yelled at her, she got mad at them. She didn't want to be angry at Kasumi. It was bad enough when she was angry at someone she didn't like, but Kasumi was nice, and kind, and gentle, and.. and... and she didn't think she could live with herself if she got angry at Kasumi.

Something was wrong, though.

Noone was yelling.

Noone was telling her how stupid she was for trying this.

She opened her eyes, trembling in fear, expecting Kasumi to do like her old father had once, and wait until she looked to start yelling, from mere inches away.

Here it came. Kasumi was under a foot away. Kasumi was....

...smiling? Was hugging her? Was comforting her?

Yasha's world had just flipped over, filled with laughing dwarves named Stumpy, and handed her a flaming wombat. She broke down and cried into Kasumi's shoulder, lucky that Kasumi was strong enough to support both of their weights. Because she couldn't have stood on her own right then.

#################################################################################

Passenger

Chapter 8: Drowning in the Past

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to those who help others at any cost.

Warning: I have borrowed things from other peoples' fanfiction, and will continue to do so. I intend no disrespect, in fact, if I borrowed from you, that means I really liked your idea. I try not to exactly copy anything, but it may still happen. Oops.

Disclaimer: Stop whining, boy! I know they aren't mine! But I'm using them anyways, so get used to it! It's good training to run away from lawsuits! splash [I'm just a cute little panda bear who can't be sued.]

Key, Ki, Kei, Chi, Tsi, Fi, Fie, Fo, Fum:

= English

" " = Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= Internal Ranma/Yasha conversation

& & = Oh, no, not this joke again....

#################################################################################

Kasumi was amazed at the small girl sobbing into her shoulder. The girl had obviously expected some sort of drastic punishment for trying to hide herself from everyone. She'd even looked almost like she was expecting to be struck.

There had been no room in the girl's eyes for remorse; there was too much fear there, too much self-disgust. It had been frightening to see that in a person.

One hand wrapped around Yasha's shoulders, Kasumi reached out with the other one, snagging the kitchen stool. Pulling it close enough, she sat down slowly, making sure not to drop the small girl. Kasumi laid the crutch down in such a way as to be easily picked back up as she rubbed Yasha's shoulder soothingly with the other hand.

In a bar near the other end of Nerima-cho, Souun Tendou and Genma Saotome sat at a table, brainstorming for ways to get Ranma and Akane together, and slowly, but with gradually increasing speed, getting drunk. At the rate they were going, it would be a few hours before it got to serious drinking, and by mid-afternoon, the two men would likely be either totally soused and meandering home, or completely unconscious in their seats.

They were grateful to Kasumi for thinking of this place to go so they could plan without Ranma overhearing.

If there was one thing Kasumi could do, it was think ahead.

Kasumi noticed that Yasha seemed almost done crying. She had long since sat the smaller girl in her own lap, so she wouldn't have to support Yasha's weight with her arms. It had been a little difficult to manage, with the smaller girl clinging to her like an opposed magnet. The simile held in more than one way, too.

"Are you feeling better now?" She asked, tentatively.

Without taking her face out of Kasumi's shoulder, Yasha nodded slightly. She sniffled, and mumbled something.

"Nani?" Kasumi asked softly.

Yasha turned her head to face Kasumi's other (dry) shoulder. "Domo arigatou gozaimasu, Kasumi-san..." she mumbled, tears still flowing down her face, although much slower than they had. She still couldn't believe this. She was afraid that if she let go, the older girl would dissipate, or she would wake up, or, or... or something.

"Please," asked Kasumi, "Not so formal. You do know me, don't you? Even if you aren't who I first thought you were." Her smile edged on a little bit, matched by her eyes.

Yasha smiled slightly, if moistly. "Not sure. I know you? You face look familiar." She sniffled, and looked up at Kasumi a bit.

Kasumi smiled warmly in return. "Of course you do. You talked with me all of yesterday, didn't you?" A joke was good. Needed something to lighten the mood a little.

The smaller girl blinked, rubbing her eyes clear with one hand, the other still latched onto Kasumi's dress. "Maybe.... But I remember face if you speak that much. You sure I know?" Then she looked at Kasumi's shoulder. "Oh, sorry. I ruin shoulder of clothes."

Kasumi eyed the wet spot on her shoulder. "No, that's all right. It's just water, and you needed to do that."

Yasha nodded. "Is okay then. May I stand now, Kasumi?"

Kasumi smiled, nodded, and let go of the smaller girl, who managed to stand on her own without the crutch until Kasumi handed it to her.

"We go back-yard and talk now, Kasumi, ne?"

Kasumi nodded. "Ne, onna no chibi."

At Furinkan High, Akane and Nabiki considered Kuno.

The deranged Kendoist was standing in full Samurai armor, with a pair of bokken in sheaths across his back like katana, wrapped about with anti-demon wards. On his back was a banner loudly proclaiming:

MIDORI (green) TSUNAMI OF FURINKAN HIGH %DEFINITELY NOT THE "SCREAMING GAY EARTH OAR"%

Everyone avoided Kuno that day.

The only people who had to change their habits to do so were Akane, Nabiki, and the Kendo club.

The other remarkable thing was that Kuno was late to every class that day. It is very difficult to go through doorways normally wearing full Nobori-Nin (Banner Bearer) armor.

PE was also interesting, as Kuno tried to swim in his armor.

Fortunately, he had been absent the previous day, and so Akane and Nabiki had cooled down a little.

"Akane Tendo! I would date with URK"

"That'll be fifty thousand yen for talking to my sister, Kuno-chan. Or I tell her about your 'photo room'."

"'Photo room'?!?!? KUNO NO HENTAI!!!"

KURRRRRRUNCH!!!

"Fifty thousand yen, please. Plus thirty for getting her to touch you."

But not much.

Yasha smiled as she sat on the back porch near Kasumi, a plate of cracker-stack snacks and two cups of cold green tea between them. Where Kasumi had found Saltines in Japan was beyond the smaller girl, but she wasn't about to complain. She looked up from the plate, and scanned her eyes across the perimeter wall, thoughtfully.

"Arigatou, Kasumi."

"That's quite alright, ah..." Kasumi paused. "...What should I call you, anyways? I guess I shouldn't call you 'Ranma', since you're not him..."

Yasha sipped her tea. "Ranma just call me Yasha. Is okay you call me too. Sound nice enough to me." Hmmm, perfect. Just the right amount of honey. Cold green tea was GOOD, with just a bit of sweetening. Not too much, though, or she'd feel like checking for cavities after every sip.

Kasumi shook her head. "But it's not a good name to have if you look like you do. You do know what 'Yasha' means, don't you?"

The smaller girl barely remembered not to shake her head. "Iie, Kasumi. Am only learning Japanese still, anyways. Why? What 'Yasha' mean?" She popped a cracker-stack in her mouth and chewed while listening to the answer.

"'Yasha' means a demon who is female. With a name like that, people will think you really are a demon."

Swallowing, Yasha grinned ruefully, tail lashing slowly. "And you not think I am? Is very how say... right name. I look I am demon."

Kasumi took a sip from her own tea. "Yes, but you aren't one. Unless you can do some magical or otherworldly thing you haven't shown anyone here yet?"

"No, I no have magic ability. Not I know, anyways." Yasha paused. "Ranma suggest 'Mizuko'."

Kasumi paused, a snack halfway from the plate to her mouth, and blinked. "Ranma? You mean, you can talk to him right now?"

"Hai. Is same when he control. Whoever body not, still feel and sense all other feel and sense, just not have control anymore. It feel very strange, until... ah... get used. Like ride at carnival, only is body."

Kasumi nodded, then resumed her motion. After a few moments, she washed the snack down with another sip of tea. "Can you ask Ranma what he thinks of this engagement thing?"

Yasha giggled, the first time Kasumi had heard that sound from the girl. "I not need ask Ranma that now. Already know. He hate arrangement, but is willing to go through with if have to. Is matter of honor to him now, even Oyaji have much honor as dirty sock have good perfume. He agree, so he will live with agree. He not sure it be so bad, if choice right. I think not understand idea total, though."

Kasumi looked up at the sky, everpresent smile slightly wider, as Yasha seemed to zone out for a moment.

Hey, Ranma, why have you been so quiet all morning, anyways? She asked. Since about the time of the shogi game, Ranma had given her a total of about seven sentences, mostly consisting of just a word or two each. It's not like you- usually you have to comment on everything.

Well, I mean, it's kinda your morning right now. Not 'cuz yer in control, but 'cuz it kinda looked like you needed the breathin' space, ta deal with it on yer own. I don' think I coulda helped anyways. Ranma explained.

Oh.... Thank you, Ani.

Mental blink. Yasha could almost swear her eyelids twitched slightly.

But, I'm not your brother! Ranma returned, sounding sorely confused.

You're close enough for me, and that's what matters in our head, right?

...I guess so, Imoutochan. I guess so.

Yasha giggled, and Kasumi looked over at her. "Is something funny?" It was the first time Kasumi had heard the girl actually giggle, and it was odd to see someone who looked so much a demon give off that kind of a high-pitched laugh.

"No, is just that Ranma like brother to me... He just call me 'little sister'. He remind me of brother I have before brought here." Yasha looked a little sad now. "Is probably only person from before I miss, really."

Kasumi nodded, and silence reigned for a while, as the number of snacks slowly diminished.

"What does Ranma think of us?"

"Nani?"

"What does Ranma think of me and my sisters?" Kasumi clarified.

"Is good question. Wait moment.....

Ranma say Akane very angry girl, but nice when not mad. He say want to be friend, maybe sensei. He think she have more.... More potot... petu... potential in martial arts than using. Also she need work on self-control, and much more on skill than power.

Nabiki, Ranma not know what to think. He say she very cold, like close self off from everyone. Is not sure, though, he not talk to her enough to know for sure. Also, he not see much at school, but some people say she be very... temperature? Wind chill? Icy. She be icy."

Kasumi nodded. "That's about what I would expect."

"Ranma not sure what think about you. You is very nice, and kind, but maybe too much. He think you maybe give too much to family, not get enough return from father, from sisters. He notice all day, sisters thank you for thing you do maybe once. He say they need appreciate more. He also want teach you martial arts, you move like martial artist, only not with learn. Is also..."

"Also what?" Kasumi asked, trying not to sound too eager.

Yasha blinked and shook her head. Ranma had left off mid-sentence, then told her he was done. Odd. "He say that is all."

More time passed, and Kasumi went inside for a while to set up some stuff for dinner.

The snack tray was replaced with a lunch tray just after Yasha finished the last cracker-stack.

Kasumi sat down, putting down the glasses of lemonade, and a small pitcher, then seating herself. "I was wondering, does Ranma have any hobbies or anything?" She asked.

Yasha nodded. "Ranma like to carve wood. Is very good at too." Then she laughed. "Ranma is saying he not that good, is really easy. Ranma too modest. Is hard thing."

Aw, c'mon, Yasha! It's just a hobby. I'm not that good. I only do a little in m' spare time.

Don't depreciate yourself, Ranma! It's very difficult for some people. I only ever tried once. Nearly sliced my arm open. And I'm really good with my hands usually. Well, at keeping track of where they are. You know, dexterity and stuff.

"What about you? Do you have anything you do for fun?"

Yasha smiled wistfully, looking up into the sun. "Hai. I like hike, and also I play flute. Was pretty good at that, though I usually out of practice. I wish still have flute. And recorders. I play soprano and alto, not at same time, but indiviv.... indidi.... separate."

Kasumi nodded. "'Individual' is how you say it in Japanese."

"In-di-vi-du-al" Yasha carefully pronounced, each character-sound separate.

Kasumi smiled. "That's what we can do while you heal, I can teach you Japanese! Is that alright with you?"

Yasha's grin could have lit asbestos on fire. "Is WONDERFUL! I hate not speak language nice. Arigatou, Kasumi"

Kasumi nodded again. "By the by, how old were you before you 'joined', so to speak, with Ranma?"

The smaller girl's grin hardly faded as she answered. "Was eighteen, almost nineteen. Three months from nineteen, actually."

Eventually....

"So," Began Kasumi, "We still need a name for you. After all, we can't just call you Ranma, and I refuse to let you name yourself 'Yasha'. It's just not right. What was your name Before?"

Yasha frowned. "I not want use name from Before. Was not very good life, was not very good person. I not want same as was before. I very unhappy that way. I need new name, one not relate to old life. Or think maybe just be same again."

"Hmmmm..." Kasumi said, gently biting her lip in thought. "What are your favorite things?"

Yasha blinked. She had thought they were talking about naming her... "Colors are purple and green, best together. I like calamari, music, and drawing. Very much I like singing and dancing."

"Okay, what about... Kangakkiko?"

The small girl made a face. "Is big mouthful. Sound like weapon or spiky thing."

"Maybe... Megara?"

"Maybe, maybe. Other ideas?"

"Well, there's always Ranko, the female version of Ranma, but that's a little... corny."

" I agree. Other idea maybe?"

"Kikuko? Maybe Reiko? Or, how about Ryoko?"

"No, are just not feel right. And last one is like cartoon character, make me look silly. Hair and fangs like her enough for me."

"Ahhh... Yoiko? Maybe Kodora?"

"What was last one? 'Little Tiger'? That sound nice."

"Yes, but it's a little... tomboyish. Maybe Dorako?"

"'Tiger child'? Sound just as man as Kodora, to me."

WHAM!!!

Both girls jumped at the manner in which Souun and Genma announced their return.

"Awful rrrrude of th' chillern t' move th' fron' gate like that, Tenno!"

Souun began to bawl. Again. (# 73: Someone Moved My Front Gate While I Was Out Drinking With My Best Friend)

"WAAAAH! It'sh nhot my ffffallt! WAAAAAH! I bringededed upp my chillren right! They juss' not respect me! Nabi... abki... kibaba... nababa... kibanabanabanikiki... kini...ki don' evn' lemme know nothin' no more!!!!"

The two girls exchanged a look before Kasumi went to help the fathers to their rooms, hopefully before Akane and Nabiki got back.

The currently-nameless girl sat thinking about what to call herself, absently noting the feeling of the fur falling out all down her back and across her abdomen. This was the third time that had happened. Almost as though her body hadn't decided what it was going to be yet.

#################################################################################

Been checking my reviews, and all I can say is 'Wow.' I never thought enough people would like something I wrote. But, for you all, I will keep it up. Besides, it's fun sometimes. The rest of the time it's very fun. Well, GTG! Jaa, mata!

"Curse you, Saotome!" Kuno growled, achieving surprising results though he was using a bokken instead of a shovel to dig, "None has the right to defeat you but Kuno Tatewaki! I shall not permit you to be defeated by a mere building full of debris! The Blue Thunder will have his revenge only after I have freed you!"

-Tatewaki Kuno, "The Fifth Fiancee"

Further Notes, 8/6/04:

So, more than anything else, I fixed the Japanese error with Kuno's back-banner (Boy was my face red when I had that pointed out to me), but I also meddled a bit with the conversation. But not too much. On the whole, this is one of the more satisfactory chapters of this work, being as it came out more or less as intended. Especially in starting and ending point. There will probably be much more alteration in the next few chapters. Once things start to get going again, in fact, there will be major changes, and a heavy departure from the original in some aspects. A few very major things will actually not even happen- I think.

On the other hand, since I generally let the story run where it will, only really controlling the introduction of new elements and letting the rest just interact... it's hard to say for sure.

Anyways, plodding along with this, step by step... inch by inch... and then... um... something. Eesh, I don't even remember how that goes anymore.

Ah, well. Ja ne.

-Selene Starblade


	10. Book 2, Chapter 1: This looks familiar

A few days passed in this vein, the currently-unnamed demon-girl talking with Kasumi, although she would have to take long rests sometimes, as her injuries would not let her alone, and she preferred to remain still while practicing Genma and Souun's healing techniques. There were no attempts, surprisingly, to get Ranma and Akane together, other than the one time when Souun had practically dumped a half-awake "Ranma" into the bathroom while Akane was in there. Akane, of course, noted that "Ranma" was both alright and not totally awake, still halfway meditating, and took appropriate action. Souun avoided her the rest of that day. He'd never quite realized how SCARY that Demon Head technique was.

It was maybe a week and a day since Ranma and Genma had arrived. The day before, Kasumi and the small girl had finally finished telling each other their life stories (Though Kasumi's was longer, the smaller girl refusing to speak at length of her previous life), and the demon-girl had promised to teach Kasumi a recipie called "Tuna Treat" that day. That wasn't what woke her up at four AM, sweating, though.

She sat up , putting painful strain on her arm, and gasped. That was wierd. She'd never had a dream do that to her before. What made it worse was that she couldn't remember anything about the dream except for a lot of glowing greenness. It just didn't make any sense.

The unnamed girl looked over at Kasumi, who had insisted on taking the futon on the floor, giving her bed to the smaller girl.

That in itself had been an interesting argument, consisting of Kasumi and her sisters arguing that "Ranma" needed the bed, and "Ranma", Ranma (by proxy), and the fathers arguing that it really wasn't neccessary to take Kasumi's bed away from her and leave her with a futon. Kasumi, of course, had won. Noone known in Nerima could win an argument with Kasumi.

Either way, the nameless girl was awake, and sweaty. That meant she needed a bath, and also that she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. If she was up, that was it. No going back to sleep. She just wouldn't be able to do it, no matter how hard she tried. And Kasumi had insisted that when she got up, she should wake Kasumi up so Kasumi could help her.

But she couldn't bear to wake up Kasumi.

What a dilemma.

#################################################################################

Passenger

Chapter 9: This looks familiar

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to... uh... to.... something important and good.

Warning: You've probably read this warning enough times. I'm not going to bother you with it again now.

Disclaimer: Aiyaaah! Starblade no own this! Be getting Kiss of Death if not write this. Oh, but Starblade own own character. Aiyaaah! Is so confusing.....

Key:

=English

" " = Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese ( I know, I know, there STILL isn't any. Have patience.)

= Internal conversation between Ranma and the demon formerly known as Yasha.

#################################################################################

Fortunately, she only had to wait a minute or two before Kasumi got up too. Attuned to her house and it's sounds, Kasumi's subconscious had noticed that Yasha's motions were in the category "unusual" as regarded this time of night, and possibly worth waking up over if they persisted. When they did, Kasumi's subconscious had yanked the "Wake Up" pullrope, and a small gong had gone off in Kasumi's head, rousting her consciousness.

Kasumi slowly sat up, the world fading gently into focus around her, as it always did when she woke. She yawned, stretching one arm, and rubbing her eyes with the other hand. Looking over at the clock, Kasumi noted that it was an hour earlier than she usually woke up, and looked around for what might have disturbed her sleep.

The small girl sat, watching Kasumi, an expression half-surprise and half-relief on her face.

"What's the problem?" Asked Kasumi, remaining where she was.

"Is nothing, just strange dream I have.. ah.. had." She corrected herself.

"Ah. Would you like to tell me about it?"

"Most definitely. Problem, I can't remember it." Her Japanese had been getting much better, with Kasumi's guidance during their conversations.

Kasumi smiled. "Well, since we're both up, may as well go get our baths, ne?"

The nameless girl nodded once, carefully. Her neck had been hurting less the last couple of days.

Their bathing done, the two girls were sitting in the kitchen, having some cold green tea before setting to work on breakfast. They had taken to working together on it, and apparently the demon-girl had a bit of a knack for cooking. That and she remembered some from Before.

"Kasumi?"

"Hai?" Kasumi took a sip of tea.

"I have choose a name."

"Chosen."

"Oh, oops... I have chosen a name." She corrected herself. "I would like to be called Suiren. Is fit given I appear and go away with water, yes?"

Kasumi nodded. "Okay, Suiren. Any ideas for breakfast this morning?"

Suiren grinned. Her old father had known how to do some very interesting things with scrambled eggs.

Souun and Nabiki Tendou stared at the masses on their plates, and on everyone else's plates. They were mostly scrambled-egg-yellow, although it only just qualified as "mostly", being more like half. There were pink bits and brown bits (presumably meat, although with cooking that looked like this, you never knew), and green bits and red bits and black flecks and spots all over it. And some orange, and yellowish-white areas. And the yellow of the eggs was actually a bit off, looking a little green. Obviously, someone could cook just as badly as Akane: this looked like her kitchen-work, but she'd been out jogging all morning. It had been Ranma helping Kasumi.

Akane wondered what was wrong with Souun and Nabiki. She'd cooked stuff that looked worse than this, and they hadn't complained. On the other hand, they never actually ATE it, did they? Hmm. This bore looking into.

Genma also wondered what was wrong with the staring Tendous, but just shrugged and grabbed one of the muffins that were to go with the eggs. Mm. Blueberry.

Suiren and Kasumi just watched everyone else, waiting for them to try it. They'd already tasted some, and wanted to see everyone else's reactions.

Finally, Genma took his chopsticks and ate a bite of the adulterated eggs. All eyes were riveted on him, for various reasons.

Genma chewed.

And chewed.

He seemed reluctant to swallow, but eventually did.

Souun and Nabiki expected him to pass out or turn funny colors anytime now. Instead, he said: "Wow."

And took another, larger bite.

Suiren and Kasumi grinned and high-fived, before digging into their own food. By this point, Souun and Nabiki were totally confused.

Akane began eating too.

Carefully, looking scared, Souun picked up a bite of the eggs with his chopsticks, and timorously put it in his mouth.

First came the expression of surprise.

Then the happy chewing.

Then he began to cry, silently for once, as he chewed. It was too good to waste by opening his mouth and risking it falling out.

Nabiki was getting scared. She opened her mouth to object, only to find that Akane had grabbed her chopsticks and shoved a bite of eggs into her mouth, removing the chopsticks and forcing Nabiki's mouth closed before she could spit them out.

Nabiki got an expression of sheer fright on her face, and froze. She didn't dare chew it, she knew. That would bring out more of the awful, nasty, fetid, h.... h.... how good this was defied description.

Nearly passing out with relief and amazement, Nabiki joined the others in eating slowly and silently. Everyone was eating slowly, savoring each bite, even Genma.

Most of the demons in Hel had given up and taken up skiing and snowboarding by this point.

And, now that I've beaten THAT joke into the ground, I think I'll stop with it.

At school, Nabiki was in too much of a daze to notice that Kuno was absent again, this time because Akane had force-fed him his back-banner the previous day. In large chunks.

She was still trying to figure out how someone could make something that looked like Akane's cooking, but had tasted so darn good. Usually, when Akane cooked, the better it was at first, the worse it got. If it tasted horrible right off, it was usually okay to eat, but if it tasted okay, you immediately spat it out, because eating it would probably induce vomiting, diarrhea, or some other unpleasentness.

Okay, so Akane's cooking wasn't DEADLY, but it was pretty bad. Even by Nabiki's standards. And Nabiki could cook cheesetoast at best. Sometimes. When it didn't burn.

Although, if she could get Ranma to teach Akane to cook like that.... after all, both methods seemed to consist of grabbing everything handy and throwing it in, it's just that Ranma seemed to have gotten in the habit of grabbing the RIGHT everything. Whereas Akane would just grab anything. Once she'd even added dish soap.

That particular time, Nabiki had kept some, and persuaded Kuno to eat it.

Every year, "Bubbles Day" was celebrated, as Kuno was fed something else with dish soap in, after being told Akane had cooked it, even if she hadn't.

The teachers were still working on a good way to get the soap scum off the ceilings.

"I'm having strange feeling about today, Kasumi."

Suiren was again sitting on the back porch with a cup of tea, and a sandwich. Kasumi, hanging laundry again, momentarily mused that the small girl never seemed to be without something to munch on, regardless of whether she or Kasumi made it, or pulled it from the cupboards.

"What do you mean, Suiren-chan?"

"Something feels.... not quite straight. Sort of wrong tilt to it. Not bad, but... not how it supposed to be. Ranma say he feels uneasy, like he sometimes does when Oyaji do something dumb, but we don't know yet."

Kasumi nodded, hanging up another sheet.

Suiren sighed. "Oh, well. Is nothing to do about it, anyway." She picked up the crutch with her good hand, and used it to help herself up to a standing position as she finished off the sandwich in one large bite.

I feel compelled to note the differences between how Suiren eats and how Ranma does. Both eat very, very quickly. Ranma moreso, he's had more practice. There are three ways to eat fast. There's the way Ranma and Genma eat, which involves stuffing as many bites down your throat as possible as quickly as you can, especially from someone else's plate.

There's the Chardin method, which involves basically warping your own musculoskeletal structure so you can do things like stuff whole watermelons in your mouth.

Then there's Suiren's method. This method is also shared by members of certain other anime casts, most notably Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev.

This method consists of getting onto your eating utensil as large a bite as you can fit in your mouth. This gets stuffed in, and chewed to reduce it's volume, then another bite is stuffed in, chewed, the whole thing is swallowed, and by this time, you have another large bite ready. This method has less mess than the Saotome style, and lacks the physical deformity caused by the Chardin style. The reason it still works quickly is that, by using it, one builds up one's jaw muscles so that food can be compacted smaller. For this reason, more food mass dissapears at once.

I hope this dissertation did not disgust you. Barf bags are stored underneath the seat cushions just in case.

Suiren was lying in Kasumi's bed, resting after having meditated for a while. Her neck was pretty much not bothering her anymore, and her bruises had long since disappeared. The cracked ribs and broken limbs, however, were not healed yet, and sometimes hurt like hell. Or Hel, depending on whom you asked. This was one of those times. It also made her feel stiff all over, making it difficult to move about.

Kasumi was downstairs with the recipie and instructions Suiren had given her, since the small girl's limbs had begun to ache yet again, and she would probably be of little use in the kitchen.

Suiren heard a shouted "Tadaima!" from Akane and Nabiki as they returned from school. There was a bit of quiet conversation from downstairs, and then she heard three sets of footsteps heading up the stairs. But Kasumi was still singing in the kitchen as she cooked, and Souun and Genma didn't move that quietly unless they absolutely had to. So who was the third person?

Also, one of the sets of footsteps occasionally paused, or fluctuated in nearness, as though whoever it was kept changing their mind or stopping for a moment, then returning to a steady pace towards Kasumi's room.

Finally, someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." Said Suiren, eager to find out who the third person was.

Akane and Nabiki stepped in, leaving the door open behind them for someone.

But noone was there but Akane and Nabiki.

"How are you doing, Ranma?" Asked Akane.

Ranma-Suiren grimaced. "Okay, but leg and arm are hurting. Was going to take a nap soon."

Nabiki nodded, face neutral, as Akane looked on, concerned. "Someone came to the school to see you, so we brought him here. Says he knew you."

I don't THINK I know anyone around here...

Maybe seeing him will jog your memory, Oniichan.

I hope so.

"So," began Suiren, "Where is he?"

Akane and Nabiki blinked. "He's right-" Nabiki turned to point out the empty doorway. And nearly fell over at the lack of someone there.

Akane, also looking into the hall, blinked again. "And here I thought he was kidding about that."

Suiren didn't look amused. "Look, am not in the mood for joke. Is nice to see you both, really, but could you go now? I really would like to take nap."

Akane frowned, it wasn't a joke. They'd gone to so much trouble to see that the boy actually got here... But there was nothing to do about it now. He was gone, like he said might happen. Nodding, Akane said "Gomen, Ranma. Oyasumi nasai." And headed into the hall and down to her own room.

Nabiki grimaced. This hurt her credibility with Ranma. She liked her credibility with ANYONE. Besides, she'd figured out what the parents had been up to: if Ranma didn't marry one of them, they might not be able to keep the Tendou-ke in the family when their father eventually passed on. Anything that hurt his chances of agreeing to join the family was bad news. Majorly. Nodding sourly, she muttered "Oyasumi nasai," and left, closing the door behind her.

Elsewhere in the house, a teenage boy was muttering darkly to himself about his two curses (or at least the two that bothered him most), tripped on the edge of the furo, and fell into the cold bathwater, triggering one of them. The other one was always active, anyways.

Crawling out, the cat-sized green rabbit muttered silently to itself, unable to make human-hearing-range sounds with it's lungs and throat, and dragged its soaked clothes out of the furo.

He WOULD find Ranma, and NOTHING would stop him.

Suiren woke up instantly. Since joining Ranma, she had become a very, VERY light sleeper. Someone was in the room. The window was open, and the door was closed, so it wasn't one of the Tendous or Oyaji. And she couldn't turn over right now, her arm and ribs were killing her.

This was very, VERY bad.

She tried to take a deep breath to scream for help, but the pain in her ribs cut her short, and she wound up gasping shallowly for a few moments instead.

Then she heard it. Someone or something was crouched below the foot of the bed, trying not to make a lot of noise.

Suiren began to shiver in fear.

Then the green rabbit jumped up and landed on the foot of the bed, and she nearly passed out in relief. After all, rabbits didn't kill people or rape them or anything. Although, apparently, they did scare people half to death sometimes. At least, the green ones did.

The rabbit looked at what had to be the smallest teenage girl he'd ever seen. This was supposed to be Ranma here in this bed. This was all wrong. He must have gotten the wrong room again. As he started to turn to leave the pleasently-decorated room, the small girl held out her uninjured arm, making a sort of "tchk-tchk" noise with her tongue on the roof of her mouth.

Well, it wouldn't hurt, and the girl looked kind of scared, too... Aw, hell. He never could resist, even though all the people who'd tried that had wanted him to be their pet, and had done all sorts of horrible ear-pulling and such.

Suiren smiled as the rabbit carefully hop-walked into reach. It jumped slightly at that, seeing her fangs, but somehow seemed to relax even more after seeing them.

Once it was close enough, Suiren lightly stroked it on the head and neck, careful not to pull at its skin or ears too hard- she'd handled rabbits before. Not very much, but she tended to have a bit of a sixth sense for animals. They often liked her, too.

It was an interesting sort of collar, though, she thought as she drifted off, one small arm draped across the now-drowsy green rabbit.

Why on earth would someone put a yellow bandana with jaguar splotches on a rabbit?

#################################################################################

Uh-oh. (giggles maniacally) THIS is going to be interesting.

Further Notes, 8/8/04: Well, not much changed here either, sorry to disappoint. Though a different name was chosen for Suiren. Why? Well, to be honest, a few chapters after choosing Kodora, I began to sort of regret the choice, both because the name did not fit very well, and also because it didn't sound right when spoken aloud. Good reasons? I have no idea, but they're mine, and I'll use them if I like.

Anyways, on to the next chapter.... Or something like that. Mata ne.


	11. Book 2, Chapter 2: Tuna Treat and Bunny ...

"Tuna Treat"

Ingredients:

Four eggs, yolks and whites in separate bowls

One 6&1/2 or 7 ozcan tuna IN OIL, DO NOT DRAIN

1/4 cup grated cheese (cheddar is best)

10 oz. frozen peas or 2 cups canned

1 10&1/2 oz can condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (undiluted)

Start heating oven to 400 degrees Farenheit. Cook frozen peas (do not use any salt).

Get a 1&1/2 quart casserole. Put in milk, soup, peas, and finally the tuna WITH THE OIL. Using a fork, mix together, make sure to break up the tuna. Put in oven for 12 min.

Beat whites until they stand in peaks when you raise the beater, beat yolks until lemon-colored. If you need exercise for your arms, use a whisk, put the rounded end in the eggs, and roll the handle like you would clay you were making into a strip.

Fold the cheese into the yolks carefully, then fold that into the whites.

Remove the other when it has baked 12 minutes, and gently pour the egg mixture on the top so it covers the whole thing.

Bake 20 minutes more. Careful when taking it out of the oven, that IS a soufflé on the top. Serves 4.

Kasumi consulted the handwritten recipie again, double-checking to make sure she was using twice the amount in the recipie.

Suiren had offered to show her, but her injuries had acted up, and this really didn't need supervision to do. Although she didn't understand the instructions for beating the eggs by hand.

This would be an interesting recipie. Also impossible to eat with chopsticks.

The look on Genma's face would be priceless.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Passenger

Chapter 10: Tuna Treat and Bunny Blunder.

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by Starblade

Dedicated to Life, the Universe, Everything, and the number 42.

Warning: Aw, heck. I'm not gonna write this anymore. You KNOW it's not plagiarism already.

Disclaimer: AND you already know they aren't mine. But I have to put this here. It's required by law. Dammit. Bloody waste of time.

Key:

= English

" " = Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= Mental conversation between Ranma and Suiren

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Nabiki wondered what Kasumi was up to. Something was very wrong here. Ever since Ranma had gotten here, things had been going strangely. At least, moreso than usual. And this was the strangest thing yet.

There were forks and spoons on the table instead of chopsticks.

And Kasumi was reading a book. Dinner was in five minutes, and Kasumi was reading a book instead of cooking. Kasumi always stayed in the kitchen the entire time- there was so much she did for dinners, it had always taken until the last minute.

Nabiki sat calmly at the table, apparently rereading a manga, her face expressionless. She did not, however, turn the page. Her thumbnail was digging a crescent-shaped hole in the back cover.

Inside, she was freaking out and gibbering madly.

Suiren woke up when she heard Kasumi shout out "Dinnertime!" She sat up, blinking awake, clutching a pillow to herself as she let out an extra-large yawn. Being injured like this was playing havoc with her mindset- she NEVER needed naps. Heck, she'd skipped sleep a lot from simply not being sleepy. And here she was with three naps in the last seven days- she'd just doubled her lifetime total. She clutched at the pillow again with her right hand, rubbing at her eyes with her left one.

When the pillow began to struggle, she looked at it and almost jumped. Then she remembered. Green rabbit, bandanna....

Hm. Wonder if we have any lettuce lying around.

Suiren, what's with this rabbit? Did you paint it green or something? Ranma asked, sounding equally half-awake. He rarely got the opportunity to sleep this much, and he was getting everything he could out of it.

Of course not. It was like that when I got here. She inspected the rabbit a moment. No nametag or anything either. Wonder how it got to the second floor, though. Better take it downstairs, let it out.

"Come on, green rabbit-san. We get you back outside where you belong."

Stiffly, Suiren got up from the bed, rabbit tucked into the sling, good hand on the crutch. She walked to the door, opened it and stepped out into the hall, just in time to see Akane head down the stairs. She didn't call out to the bigger girl, instead making her way patiently down the hall. Being forced to go slow was doing wonders for her patience, something she'd never really had too much of for most things.

She took the crutch under her arm, and, leaning heavily on the banister with the arm in the cast, made her way down the stairs, step-thump step-thump. She was glad she'd never had much of a sense of pain, so she was able to ignore the twinges from her mostly-healed leg. Ranma was, as ever, stoic about the pain, not deigning to give it notice.

Once down the stairs, she turned and headed towards the family/dining room, and put the rabbit down just out of sight, opening the sliding door slightly.

"Out you go, rabbit-san." She smiled at the animal. It was almost human, the way it sat there staring at her. Poor thing looked confused.

Without waiting to see if the bunny had left, she turned and headed into the family room, arm back in the sling. It wouldn't be good to worry Souun.

Ryouga, however, hopped over to the door to the family room, and sat just so, peeking into the room.

Genma sat at the table, confused, and looked for the chopsticks. You couldn't eat anything without chopsticks. It just wasn't right. Maybe Kasumi would bring them out with the food.

Kasumi stepped out of the kitchen with a tray holding two casseroles and six small bowls of applesauce.

Then again, maybe not.

There were no chopsticks, anywhere.

Kasumi set the tray down in the middle of the table, and put a large serving spoon next to each casserole. Each person got a bowl of chilled applesauce and a serving of what seemed to be some sort of tuna-and-peas casserole with a soufflé on top.

Genma, thinking quickly, pulled his pair of spare chopsticks from his bandanna to use while eating. He eyed his sometime-daughter, trying to determine how much food he could steal from her while she was adjusting to the different eating utensils.

Everyone but Genma bowed slightly over the food and said "Ittadakimasu."

Then the eating began.

If rabbits were able to chuckle, Ryouga would have laughed his flop-eared little head off.

The look on Genma's face when his daughter basically decimated one whole casserole-full of food before he could even finish one serving was priceless. His eyes bugged out to the point where they had practically left their sockets, and his glasses fell off. His jaw was sitting on the floor as his arms flailed about with the chopsticks, trying to get a purchase on something, anything in the food while figuring out how in the hell Ranma was doing that.

It just couldn't be done. All he'd succeded in doing to his food was to reduce it to a basically tasteless paste. The soufflé

Genma was going to go to bed hungry that night.

The meal basically finished, Suiren remained in place on her cushion, tail slowly lashing behind her. She had her applesauce spoon upside-down in her mouth, and was sucking on it, finding the taste of the silver metallic-tangy-good. She didn't tell anyone that, though. People always thought she was strange, either for liking the taste of metal, or for being able to taste metal.

Ryouga was eyeing the tail warily from where he was hidden in the hallway, peeking past the door just enough to see into the family room. He hadn't noticed that the girl had a tail, not even when she'd been carrying him around. The hair had preoccupied him, mostly. If it was hair.

Souun, looking ready to cry (again) at the fact that there was no more of the good food, turned to his eldest daughter. She hadn't come up with any surprises in years. He wondered what this meant.

"Kasumi, dear, you've never made that before, wherever did you find the recipe?"

"I got it from an American friend of mine. Which reminds me, there's an important announcement to make tonight." Kasumi eyed Suiren, who returned a "who, me?" look. The others eyed Kasumi, watching her nod at Suiren, and tracing her gaze to the smaller girl.

Everyone else but Genma noticed Kasumi looking at Suiren, and subjected her to a unified stare. Genma had already been looking at his child anyways, wondering when Ranma'd had the time to pick up eating skills for American table instruments. He couldn't be beaten by his son at eating! He just couldn't!

Kasumi waved her hands at Suiren in a "go on" gesture. They'd discussed this earlier, and they knew that the fathers probably weren't going to like it. Suiren tried the 'puppy dog eyes', and the firm, if amused smile in return sealed it. She should have known Kasumi wouldn't fall for that, she mused.

Suiren sighed. "Is pretty straightforward." She began, looking down at the table to avoid the stares. "You all know I am Ranma. That body I am in now is result of the Jusenkyou curse. You also know that I know different things when like this, than I know when am male."

Unified nod, and Kasumi and Suiren exchanged glances before nodding themselves.

"What I have not said, is I am girl when I am like this." She waved her hands at the stupefied faces before they could say they already figured it out. "I mean in mind too."

The response was a unified blink. Genma proceeded to slowly fall over, and Souun started to cry, stopped, started to gibber, stopped, and then started getting a thoughtful look, and continued. Nabiki let her head fall sideways, resting her ear on her shoulder, and Akane screwed her face up, squinting with one eye.

Before anyone could recover, she continued. "Because of this, I want be treated as girl when am like this, and I want to be called 'Suiren'. Also to stop people finding out curse when not want them to."

Genma jumped up, towering over the tiny girl. Surprisingly, she didn't seem the least bit intimidated by the larger man.

"Nonsense, Ranma! You're a man! A MANLY man! You will stop this foolishness this instant! It's bad enough that you dress like this-" He gestured to the amputee pajamas the girl was wearing, which were tight enough to show the bra lines. (Not, that is to say, that Suiren needed a bra just yet. But she did love to irritate the old man, for some reason she had yet to fathom herself. "But to claim that you ARE a girl when you're like-"

WHAMMO

Souun and Nabiki traced the handle of the wooden mallet, and facefaulted to see Kasumi at the other end of it from the massive wooden head that had driven Genma into the floor. Akane just stared at Kasumi.

"That's MY trick!"

'Ranma? Where?!' Thought Ryouga the off-color rabbit, looking frantically about the room until Genma started shouting at the little girl who, but for the tail and quills, could easily have been a relative of his. Especially with those fangs. He stared hard. Ranma? Really? Little red bunny eyes squinted.

True, he supposed, the girl bore some superficial resemblance to his greatest adversary, but she couldn't possibly be confused for him. For one thing, Ranma had been taller than that. Nevermind the quills and the tail and the red eyes and the fangs and the red eyes and the...

The words 'Juusenkyou Curse' floated through his head right then, though he had no idea why.

Kasumi blinked, surprised, then released the handle of the hammer with the Tendou family crest on its handle, permitting it to disappear back to subspace. She'd never used her grandmother's mallet before, but the situation just seemed to call it into her hand. It had felt... almost right, but there was something missing... ah, well. Later.

"Ara, I hope Ojisan is alright. I just wanted him to quiet down so Suiren could explain."

Akane and Suiren sweated, and Souun and Nabiki sat up, Souun looking thoughtful still, and Nabiki suspicious. In her eyes, there was something seriously wrong here.

Akane turned to yell at Suiren. "You've got to be kidding me! You just want to go into girls' bathrooms and locker rooms! Pervert!"

Nabiki turned to grill Suiren. "When did you know this? How much is it worth to you to keep your curse secret? Why bother, when the whole school knows?"

Genma pulled himself out of the floor, and turned to bellow at Suiren. "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, GET US KILLED?! YOU FOOL, YOU'RE A GUY DAMMIT! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO?!!? YOUR POOR FATHER HAS GONE TO SUCH TROUBLE, AND THIS IS THE THANKS HE GETS?!?!?!"

All this simultaneously, while Kasumi wondered where Akane was getting her ideas, why Suiren and Ranma WOULD want to bother keeping the curse secret, when the whole school knew, and what that "trying to get us killed" comment meant.

Souun thought a moment longer, then cut everyone off with the most massive demon-head yet, in a very pretty paisley mauve that Kasumi took a moment to just adore.

"QUIET!!!!" Shouted Demon-Head-Souun.

And it was. Genma, Nabiki, and Akane had all been blown over by the volume of Souun's yell amplified by ki waves, and decided that maybe it was time to give him a chance to respond. Kasumi, of course, was untouched, and Suiren had ducked behind the table when she'd seen Souun's head start to grow. Expanding, color-shifting heads were never a good sign. At least she was getting an instinct for some of these things.

Ryouga remained in place, some scared, some confused, and very interested. The scared was because of the mallet. And from his perspective, he'd only seen a mallet descend on Genma, then everyone staring at Akane. Obviously she had hit Genma with the mallet.

This 'Suiren' however... She was obviously a very nice person from what he'd seen, and apparently Ranma, his hated foe... okay, his worthy adversary (really, hated foe just SOUNDED so much better), turned into this kind, gentle, friendly, yet voracious and odd-appearing girl. And she wasn't really Ranma. But his Jusenkyou curse didn't do that to HIM. Maybe Ranma'd fallen in some sort of a special pool or something. The guide had mentioned that there were some... Ryouga's mind slipped back to his encounter with the cursed pools.

He had been wandering about China, looking to pick up Ranma's trail again. He NEEDED that duel. Without it, he'd never know if the Ironcloth technique he'd learned had finally allowed him to surpass Ranma in martial arts skill. He needed to know. Besides, Ranma had to explain why he hadn't shown up. Even if it had been simple cowardice, Ryouga had to hear it from his adversary's lips.

Ryouga'd just found a pool of clean clear water and crouched down to get a drink when..

"Aiyaaah! No go in water, sir! Quickly, head over here! Do not touch water! Do not fall in pool! Do not even JUMP OVER pool! Just walk carefully here, NOW!"

The bandanna'd lost boy stood up, looked around, and spotted the fat man in the Mao uniform who'd yelled at him. He seemed to be wearing a nametag of some sort, which probably meant he was important.

So, Ryouga carefully picked his way out from the area filled with pools (He still couldn't figure out how he'd gotten into the middle of them), looking up every few feet to make sure he hadn't lost his bearings. If he didn't, he might end up falling in the water, or even worse, wandering into the forest nearby. Then he might wind up lost for days before seeing someone else.

As he arrived in front of the Guide, the chubby man was amazed. The boy had not only made it out to the middle of Jusenkyou without slipping and falling into a pool, but had made it all the way back out and STILL wasn't cursed.

"Now, why shouldn't I go in the pools?"

"Sir come to house," the Guide said, indicating his shabby hut. "Self will explain everything."

A half-hour and a typical explanation later, Ryouga stepped out of the hut with the guide.

"Thanks, mister. Geez. Funky pools. I'm glad I didn't fall in one. With my luck, I'd have turned into a little pig or something, been on everyone's menu from here to eternity." He chuckled at that, and the guide did too. "So it's this way to the nearest town?" he asked, pointing in the direction of the Nyuchieju villiage.

"Yes, sir. Have nice trip!"

Humming to himself, Ryouga turned in the direction he'd been pointing as the Guide closed his door, and headed off.

Ten paces later, he heard the Guide shout from behind him "No, sir is wrong way! Is WRONG WAY!!!"

He turned his head, still walking, to see the Guide looking out his window and waving frantically.

Splash

Irony. Noun. An outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected. The incongruity of same.

-syn. Irony, Sarcasm, Satire. Indicate mockery of something or someone. The essential feature of IRONY is the indirect presentation of a contradiction between an action or expression and the context in which it occurs. In the figure of speech, emphasis is placed on the opposition between the literal and intended meaning of a statement; one thing is said and its opposite implied, as in the comment "Beautiful weather, isn't it?" made when it is raining or nasty. Ironic literature exploits, in addition to the rhetorical figure, such devices as character development, situation, and plot to stress the paradoxical nature of reality or the contrast between an ideal and an actual condition, set of circumstances, etc., frequently in such a way as to stress the absurdity present in the contradiction between substance and form... ...Irony differs from sarcasm in greater subtlety and wit. In sarcasm, ridicule or mockery is used harshly, often crudely, and contemptuously, for destructive purposes. It may be used in an indirect manner, and have the form of irony, as in "what a fine musician you turned out to be!" or it may be used in the form of a direct statement, "You couldn't play one piece correctly if you had two assistants." The distinctive quality of sarcasm is present in the spoken word and manifested chiefly by vocal inflection, whereas satire and irony , arising originally as literary and rhetorical forms, are exhibited in the organization or structuring of either language or literary material. Satire usually implies the use of irony or sarcasm for censorious or critical purposes and is often directed at public figures or institutions, conventional behavior, political situations, etc.

-Excerpt, page 753, The Random House Dictionary of the English Language, the Unabridged edition, copyright 1967, 1966. Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 67-12237

Ryouga had no trouble accepting that that one had been his own fault. He should have kept watching his feet, making sure of where he was going. Had someone knocked him in, or had he perhaps hit a spring without being warned about them first, he might have had a reason to blame someone else, but he'd known and still hadn't watched his step. Sigh. At least people weren't trying to eat him, only to make a pet of him. That way he got fed sometimes. Though the ear-pulling wasn't fun. Nor was fighting off wild animals, though a good kick usually took care of that.

He returned his attention to the scene at hand in the Tendou family/dining room, just in time to hear the thin man in the greenish-brown gi with a moustache and long hair say:

"So, let me get this straight. When you're Ranma, you're Ranma. A guy, masculine, as in likes girls, sports, and might eventually like to be a father, right?"

Suiren was nodding now. "Hai. When am Ranma, am just like Oyaji bring me up to be."

Am not! I'm much better than Oyaji was trying for!

The thin man continued. "But, when you're like this, your a girl, feminine, as in wants to wear a dress or cute clothes, likes boys, and might eventually like to be a mother, right?" Souun was well aware that it entailed more than that on either side, but he wasn't about to spend all evening just defining things.

Suiren nodded again, looking somewhat scared. This, she believed, was, or would be, the major sticking point, as far as everyone else was concerned.

Ryouga checked about, then quietly hopped up behind Suiren and wormed his way under her left hand, which was sitting on the floor. Surprised, the girl looked down, but said nothing, looking back to Souun as she scratched the nape of Ryouga's neck softly. Nobody else noticed the rabbit.

Souun did a much better job of looking serious and thoughtful than Genma did. Where Genma generally seemed constipated when he was trying to look serious, Souun looked almost, dare anyone say it... wise.

"I suppose," he began, "That we'll just have to accept this. After all, as long as you're a man at least part of the time, you can marry one of my daughters, although they will have to accept the other part of you. Besides, when you do marry one of my daughters, you'll probably understand her better from being a girl part of the time. I think this isn't any sort of a big problem as long as we're reasonable about it."

Suiren and Kasumi nodded happily, Kasumi partially because her father was apparently finally beginning to recover his senses. Although he might just be numbed emotionally from shock, but she was willing to hope.

Akane and Nabiki were staring at their father, trying to determine if Pod People maybe really did exist. They had been too young when their mother died to really remember how Souun had been before that.

They were going to be surprised a lot by their father. Something about teaching Suiren, and the assurance that the Tendou Dojo would survive, perhaps not subject to the taxations and heavy laws on inheritance, had reawakened the good father in him. The easiest way to tell from his thoughts, of course, was that he was starting to think Genma's 'great idea' of shoving Ranma and Akane together hard as possible might not be so great after all.

Silently, the minor Kami in Nerima prepared for the return of the man who'd won the 'Best Father in Nerima' award six years running.

Souun turned to his daughters. "Akane, Kasumi, Nabiki, let us go to the dojo. We need to talk."

Numbly, Akane and Nabiki stood and headed for the dojo. Kasumi just smiled encouraginly at Suiren before following her sisters.

Souun Tendou, master of the Musabetsou Kaketou Tendou Ryu, turned to his old friend and training partner, Genma Saotome, master of the Musabetsou Kaketou Saotome Ryu, and unspoken master of the Umi-sen-ken and Yama-sen-ken.

"Saotome-kun, as an experienced father, I find I must give you some advice. Children change. You cannot force them not to. As a matter of fact, if you do, they will merely do it behind your back. It is better to keep everything sane, and in the open."

Genma spluttered. "B-b-but Tendou, surely you can't mean..."

"Saotome, someday you must remind me to tell you of the time I caught Kasumi trying some marijuana." And with that, Souun Tendou headed to the dojo, to converse with his daughters.

Genma just stared at his daughter, who was coddling a green rabbit on her lap, and decided to take a break from reality.

Suiren ignored the THUD Genma made as he passed out on the mats. She was too happy petting the rabbit, that had decided to stay. Maybe she would keep it after all, if Ojisan Tendou wasn't adverse. She'd ask him tomorrow. Without noticing, she began to hum a little.

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Author Notes, 8/10/04: Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.


	12. Book 2, Chapter 3: It's all about healin...

"It's just too much to ask of me." Stated Genma. "I will not do it. Try all you like, you will not convince me to train 'Suiren' in martial arts. My son is my son, and I will NOT accept him as such when he isn't acting like it."

Souun Tendou looked sadly at his old friend. He could tell that the man's son/daughter already had very little respect for him. Souun had hoped that spending so much time with his only child would have taught Genma better parenting skills. Apparently not.

"Very well." He said, nodding solemnly to his friend. "I suppose I shall simply train her myself, once she has healed enough. I only hope that your child still respects you despite this."

Genma laughed. "Are you kidding me? I'm all the boy knows to respect! I know him too well. All too soon, he'll give up on this little rebellion, and be back to normal."

Putting on a more serious face, Genma looked stolidly at the owner of the Tendou dojo. "Anyways, I have a new idea for a way to get Ranma and Akane together."

Souun frowned slightly. "Are you entirely sure that that is the best match? Shouldn't we ought to let them decide for themselves in time?"

The two stared at each other.

Then they broke out into laughter at the thought.

Had Genma been paying attention, however, he might have noticed that Souun's laughter seemed a little bit forced.

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Passenger

Chapter 11: It's all about healing.

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to spring, the end of March, and its nondenominational celebration of the end of winter.

Warning: I borrow stuff from fanfictions I like. If you like, feel free to borrow stuff from me. What's mine is yours. What's yours is mine. What's someone elses is also everybody's.

Disclaimer: Oh, for crying out loud. I'll bet you've seen enough of these to last you until the end of the world.

Key:

= English

" " = Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= Internal conversation between Ranma and Suiren

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Shortly after lunch, the day after Ch 10

Suiren put down her Card Captor Sakura manga, and picked up the phone.

"Moshi-moshi, Tendou-ke." She answered, half her attention still on the book.

"Ah. Hello, Yasha. It's me, Touhuu."

"Hello, Touhuu-sensei. Actually, name is Suiren now."

"Oh. Good, you chose a name. Suiren, then. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you. My neck feel fine, and the leg and arm only hurt a little. Is funny, but my ribs not broken anymore, either." Indeed, she was feeling much better. Which was a bit odd, as she had heard that a broken arm, even at the least, generally took about six weeks to heal. On the other hand, that estimate hadn't taken into account chi meditations and the like.

"Really. You're healing exceptionally fast. And your Japanese has improved a lot."

"Hai. Kasumi-san has been helping... Hello? Hello?"

Suiren looked at the phone handset. She couldn't for the life of her figure out why the line had gone dead. Oh, well. If it was important, Touhuu-sensei would probably call back. She couldn't call him- she didn't know the number.

What the heck was THAT?

The phone going dead.

Suiren grimaced.

Ha-ha, Ranma. Very funny.

Ranma metaphysically shrugged. I try.

Kasumi walked into the family room.

"Suiren-chan, who was that on the phone?"

Suiren looked up at the older girl from where she was sitting at the table, legs parallel to the side of the table, broken leg resting on a small pile of cushions.

"Touhuu-sensei. The connection cut off, though."

Kasumi looked puzzled. "What did he call about?"

"He never say. He ask about my speak Japanese, and I start to tell him you helping me, but then the line go dead." She gave the reciever one last confused look, shrugged, and hung it back on the hook.

Kasumi smiled pleasently, though it looked a trifle false to Suiren. "Oh, okay then. He'll call back shortly if it's important." Then she left back into the kitchen.

Suiren stared after the older girl.

Wonder what THAT was about?

Beats me.

Suiren groaned. Ranma, have you ever heard of a thing called a "Rhetorical question"?

At the school, Akane and Nabiki were surprised by Kuno.

He had discarded the armor and extra bokken, and seemed to have ditched the banner and all of the spirit-wards as well. He stood under his favorite tree, in his kendo garb, bokken in its case on his back, holding a small good-luck charm, what seemed to be a small scroll, and a ping-pong-ball-sized "weeping Buddha" statuette.

Furthermore, he didn't pester them at all.

That day, even Akane and Nabiki gave Kuno a wide berth.

Kuno stood on the roof at lunch, on the edge above the school clock, the objects he'd held that morning in his bookbag, and his bento in hand, looking out over the city.

"Sasuke was right for once. I really shouldn't have eaten my sister's cooking. Why she went back to hallucinogens, I'll never know." He winced again, remembering the strange three-headed monster he'd seen in the pantry when he'd wandered in. He thought that that might have been one of the cooks, but he wasn't sure- his vision still wasn't quite back to normal, as evidenced by the sky being a soft lavender at the moment.

There was a short pause, maybe two minutes, before everybody's favorite off-kilter kendoist spoke again.

"Should my fears prove true of the feral one, I must make amends."

A small white mouse crawled out of the bento in Kuno's hand, dropped to the roof, and scampered away as fast as it could, leaving a streak of what seemed to be sweet-and-sour sauce behind it.

Souun walked into Kasumi's bedroom, to find Suiren lying asleep in the bed, a green rabbit with a yellow-and-black bandana sitting watch over her from the pillow her head wasn't on.

He paused a moment and blinked. She had been telling the truth. Although where the rabbit had been since last night, he had no clue.

Souun shrugged and walked over to the bed, not surprised by the fact that the rabbit seemed totally unafraid of him. This WAS Nerima, after all. It wouldn't even have surprised him too much if the rabbit were actually someone in disguise. He chuckled to himself. Not as though that would ever happen though. How many Juusenkyou victims could there possibly be in Toukyou?

He took Suiren by the shoulder and gently shook her awake. "Suiren. Suiren."

The small girl resisted the attempt to wake her up. Even when the rabbit tried to help, she continued to snore softly, halfway rolling over to bury one side of her face into the pillow. When the rabbit latched onto her ear, all it got was a halfhearted backhand, and a mumble about something called 'Kyuburt'.

Souun got a thoughtful look on his face, then headed downstairs.

Kasumi looked at the tray of cookies she'd just baked. She was sure there had been one more than that. That recipie always made thirty-five cookies.

Chuckling to himself, Souun waved the cookie in front of Suiren's face. This had always worked with Genma, and if Genma's child was anything like the man himself...

Sure enough, the small girl woke up, and her first action was to snatch the cookie from the man's hand.

Souun blinked. Of course, Genma hadn't ever taken the bait with his mouth directly, preferring to grab it and retreat before eating. He could swear he had heard the girl's fangs whistle through the air.

Chewing, Suiren looked up at Souun quizically. "Mph whmp yf thff mbmmt?"

Noting that Souun had very little knowledge of the language of the full-mouthed, Suiren swallowed, and repeated. "And what is this about?"

Souun, checking to see that all his fingers were intact, took a moment to respond. The girl had very good distance judgement. She hadn't even touched his hand at all, but she got all of the cookie.

"Touhuu-sensei wishes for me to bring you to his clinic for a checkup. You haven't had one as a girl yet, have you?"

Licking her fangs clean, Suiren shook her head 'no'.

Souun nodded. "Kasumi is kind of busy today, so I will take you there."

Suiren smiled and nodded. "Arigato gozaimasu, Tendou-san."

The moustachioed man laughed gently. "Please, call me uncle. We are practically family."

Suiren had the feeling she should have been more disturbed by the assumption, but the Tendous, as a whole, seemed to be fairly nice people so far, and even if it wasn't a sure thing, she knew that being a part of this family was not something that SHE would object to. Ranma, however, might have a thing or two to say about it. Ah well, that was up to him, and he was sleeping at the moment. As Souun helped her out of the bed, and then went looking for Kasumi to help the small girl change clothing, she debated whether or not to tell Ranma about the assumption.

Lunchbreak over, and most of the class after it, Tatewaki finally came down from the roof of the school, having not even opened his bento. He noticed the hole in it, however, and had patched it up.

Nabiki frowned as Kuno accepted his water-bucket punishment without objecting. Usually, he would have spouted at least a full stanza of poetry on his way out of the room, but the school's resident swordsman had been totally silent. He'd looked almost as if he were... thinking. God forbid.

Nabiki was trying so hard to figure it out, she almost got bucket duty herself.

This was uncomfortable, Suiren thought.

Then Touhuu-sensei began the next step of the examination, and she amended that thought. This was embarassing, unnerving, somewhat violating, and extremely uncomfortable.

It was actually somewhat of a relief when he got to checking her tail for... whatever he was checking it for... even though he still wasn't using a gentle enough touch on the appendage to keep her from wincing.

Souun sat in the waiting room of the clinic, the green rabbit on the sofa cushion next to him, and considered the animal. It didn't look at all diseased or anything, and he hadn't seen any fleas. It would probably be okay to have it around. After all, it certainly couldn't put any more strain on the house than Genma's panda form, considering how much shampoo and bathwater he used. Not to mention towels. Lots and LOTS of towels. Souun decided to talk to his friend about maybe being human when he dried off.

Touhuu had progressed to checking on Suiren's former injuries, which she was comfortable enough with to converse with the doctor.

"So, Touhuu-sensei, why did the phone line cut off anyways? Oh, what I was saying was that Kasmmp mmph?"

The doctor had his hand over Suiren's mouth, and his glasses were trying to fog over. "P-p-please don't s-say that name." He stated, trembling.

Eyes wide, the small girl nodded. This was a bit more stress on her neck than she was comfortable with.

"T-t-thank you." Touhuu removed his hand from Suiren's mouth, leaned on the examination table, and took a few deep breaths.

"Ah, Touhuu-sensei? Why you do that? Is something wrong?" Suiren sat up halfway, looking over at the doctor. Not only was he still shaking, but he seemed to be sweating a bit. There was more here than showed on the surface, that was for sure.

Touhuu shook his head, resuming his former action. "No, nothing's wrong as long as you don't say t-that n-name." Forcefully, he pushed Kasumi from his mind, sweating slightly.

The demon-girl nodded, deciding to ask Souun or Kasumi about it later.

Touhuu had called Souun into the examination room, after letting Suiren get dressed again.

"It's quite amazing." the doctor began, brandishing the splint that had been on part of the girl's tail. "It's almost as though she had the chi control of a very good martial artist- her healing rate has been greatly enhanced. At this rate, I'd say she'll be able to get the casts off and okay to go to school within another four days. The bones are almost done knitting." He peered at Suiren. "Are you sure you don't know martial arts at all?"

She nodded, her quills rattling softly against each other. "Ojisan Tendou has been teaching me healing meditation, though.." After a moment, she glanced around. She was getting an odd feeling- like she was being watched. Search her if she knew why, though. There didn't seem to be anyone extra in the room.

Touhuu looked at the Tendou patriarch, surprised. "I thought you hadn't taught since..." He left off.

Souun, for once, managed not to cry. "I hadn't. But... I realized that Akane's skills have been hurting from lack of instruction, and... Suiren here needed my help... I've been mourning long enough. It's time to get back up on that horse, and ride the ride of life again."

Suiren smiled. Her Western euphemisms had been rubbing off on the man, and they suited him well.

Standing in the kitchen, as Kasumi worked on dinner, Suiren decided to ask. "Kasumi, why does Touhuu-sensei not like to talk about you?"

Kasumi winced, almost cutting herself with the vegetable knife. "It's... it's my fault. You see, our mother.. she died of cancer."

Despite the fact that the other girl couldn't see her, Suiren nodded encouragingly.

"But," continued the eldest Tendou daughter, "Touhuu-sensei was the one who discovered it. And when Mother passed away, I sort of blamed him at first..."

Kasumi turned her attention to the pots on the stove, wiping one hand on her aqua-green apron. "So, maybe a week after Mother died, I went to his clinic and yelled at him until I couldn't anymore. I frightened the poor man halfway up his wall, I used such language." Turning to face her houseguest, Kasumi gave Suiren a sad look. "I went back the very next day to apologize, but when he looked at me, his glasses fogged up, and he started acting like... like someone high on some drug or other, dancing with his skeleton, trying to practice chiropracty on bookcases... Ever since then, even mentioning me can make him go a little nuts. I keep trying to go and apologize, bring him gifts or snacks or cookies, things like that, but every time I do, he loses it. I have such respect for the man, too."

At this, Kasumi smiled her normal, cheery smile. "I plan on becoming a doctor, too. I always have Akane or Nabiki borrow books from Touhuu-sensei for me. Once my imoutochan are off on their own, in college, I want to go to college too, and then medical school."

Suiren reflected Kasumi's smile, noting that the larger girl really didn't want to talk about this, and decided to continue in the new vein of the conversation.

Lying in bed that night, trying to get to sleep, Ono Touhuu shivered. It wasn't often he was reminded of Kasumi such that he began recalling it this vividly.

After the then-nine-year-old-girl had chewed him out over her mother, he expected her to return later and apologize. It wasn't in little Kasumi's nature to do that sort of thing to someone. She'd even used the Tendou Demon Head trick on him.

But, he'd had a surprise waiting for him when he'd headed upstairs from the clinic into the living area that night.

She had been waiting for him. He'd stepped up to her to ask her why she was there, how she'd gotten in...

And then something horrible had happened.

All the skin and flesh on Kasumi's face had melted away, and her body bloated up. She'd started yelling at him again, so loud that the words were incomprehensible, and then the skull-mouth had opened impossibly wide, growing all the while...

He'd fallen in, and hadn't stopped.

Not when the five-armed fuschia dwarf had sliced open his head with a battle-axe.

Not when the giant mosquitoes had sucked him dry right where he could see.

Not even when he'd hit the stalagmites at the bottom of the pit, for they'd pierced him, broken off, and the whole mess had gone rolling off another edge.

Then things had gotten strange.

He remembered running through an Escher Stairs painting, chased by chainsaw-wielding maniacs.

And, of course, the part where a hamburger sandwich had grilled him and eaten him. Slowly.

He would NEVER forget when bloated/skull-Kasumi had reappeared and begun slowly cutting him to shreds, from the edges in. So much blood.

And there were parts he'd blanked out entirely.

The insanity was a shield, and an injury. It was like a scar. He remembered, and it drove him insane. But, since he was insane, it couldn't be done to him again.

And every year, at the same time...

He would have the nightmare.

At least noone complained when he took the three week vacation. But it was getting harder to find a place where his screams wouldn't bring police, and wake neighbors.

Somewhere on the clinic grounds, something laughed quietly, a thin, grating chuckle.

The cats were out that night.

And for some reason, they were heading for the Tendou Dojo.

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I know, I know, that was a bit of a dark part, towards the end there. I know this isn't classified as "dark". Live with it. I have to live with not being able to classify this right. It really, by the time I'm done with it, will probably fit into all, or almost all of the categories possible.

At least, that's my goal.

Oh, and whoever it was that said not for Suiren to get a boyfriend or husband. Why not? Gimme a reason. Not that I have plans one way or the other right now. I'd just like to know your reason.

Till next time, Ja ne!

Further Author's notes, 8/10/04: Okay, so I was wrong. The changes aren't turning out as big as I had thought, as soon as I had thought. I may go back and revise some of this further, I may not. This work keeps on surprising me, the way it has its own life, and keeps on usurping my idea. Not that I particularly mind, it's been a fun ride overall regardless.

Well, here's to keeping on keeping on! Laters!


	13. Book 2, Interlude: Dissertation parts on...

Hey everyone, Selene Starblade here.

As I revise Passenger, I decided I would also revise and greatly expand the 'dissertation' segments I had placed into it. Therefore, here I give you part one of "Dissertation: An explanation of the quasi-natural powers found in the multiverse." I'm afraid it may be a fair bit dryer this time around, but hopefully, it will be more informational, have less holes, and be more complete the way it is now.

Dissertation: An explanation of the quasi-natural powers found in the multiverse.

A summation of suppositions, compiled with conjecture and thought, by Selene Starblade.

I make no claims as to the correctness of the information contained herein inasmuch as it may be taken to regard the real world. In fact some of it is blatantly false, as anyone will immediately note that 'ki' and 'chi' are just different words (one Japanese, the other Chinese) for the same thing. In other words: This isn't necessarily true of the real world. Furthermore, it isn't necessarily true for any given world described in any work of fiction or history. All this really is is taking everything about the subject matter that I have read, putting it together with a good deal of thought, and using that to try and organise it into a rational art/science. Sort of like music. You may disagree with this, and that's just fine. I just thought it would be really nice to compile all the little tidbits of information floating around in various fanfiction so that, if someone wants to start using a standard set of rules/guidelines for these things, they don't have to spend days and days working one out for themselves. They still can if they like, though.

I also do not own any of the characters, scenarios, spells, special techniques, etcetera referred to in this work that can be found in copyrighted material. Those belong to their respective creators. Unfortunately, I will not be listing all of my sources, as that would take almost as long as explaining this stuff does. Please do not be offended if I have used your material without listing you as a reference.

Finally, I would like to say that I am not attempting to destroy the art that is part of using/conceptualizing the function of these things, but rater to establish guidelines. Sort of like describing the limits of the material one is working with- someone sculpting clay, or painting on a canvas, has limits to what they can do. Clay cannot do the physically impossible, and paintings will always be more or less flat, and that is basically the kind of thing I am trying to say with this material.

There will be five parts to this dissertation. Part one will be on Chi and Ki. Part two will regard magic. Part three will regard spiritual powers. Part four will inspect psionics. Finally, part five relates to the interactions of the different powers and potential combinations.

Part one: Chi and Ki 

Section One: What is this stuff, anyways?

Very often, in an anime or other martial-arts related fiction, one martial artist or another will perform an act that is quite simply outside of the realm of normal physical possibility. This ranges from jumping more than five feet off of the ground to throwing balls of raw energy to moving faster than sound unaided. These are all expressions of a personal power generated by each and every person, called 'chi' or 'ki'.

It is generally accepted that one has to be very much attuned to oneself in the physical or psychic sense to express this ability in any noticeable fashion. Please note that by 'psychic', I mean to indicate related to the mind, not to psionic powers.

Anyways, only the most trained of martial artists, the most skilled and/or powerful, are able to perform superhuman feats using their chi or ki on a conscious basis. Anyone can use their chi or ki unconsciously, however, it will generally be unfocused and relatively ineffective. Furthermore, without training in chi or ki use, the body will not generate significant amounts of the energy on its own. There are, of course, exceptions. In the "Dragon Ball" universes, for instance, the race known as the Saiyajin have the innate ability to not only generate, but effectively use, large amounts of chi. They also turn into generally uncontrollable giant monkeys at the sight of the moon, though, so this is, perhaps, excusable.

Regardless, the best way to explain chi and ki is as the physical or semi-physical manifestation of a person's willpower. The stronger the will of an individual, the more energy is generated. Furthermore, as demonstrated by the Mouko Takabisha and Shishi Houkoudan, chi can be affected to an incredible level by emotion. Rather like diluting wine with water, emotion can be expended along with the chi, allowing the chi user to effectively use more chi. However, like diluting wine with water, the energy becomes less rich, less stable, as it were, and its overall effectiveness is cut to a certain degree.

Thence comes the distinction between ki and chi. It is generally accepted that, while chi is always 'flavored' by emotion, ki is pure willpower, undiluted. Thus, a certain amount of ki is roughly ten times as effective in performing a given task as the same amount of chi. At first, this seems to make no sense, as chi's dilution can vary, depending on how strongly the chi user is feeling the emotion. However, there is a certain 'saturation limit' beyond which the power of chi does not decrease with the continuing influx of emotion. Fortunately for chi users, this limit is practically the only power at which chi functions. Furthermore, while expending chi can be very tiring, expending one's ki can be very dangerous.

When using 'emotion-powered' chi, once the user has spent the emotion, burned it all out, they cannot draw on more chi without switching which emotion they are focusing on. Thus, while someone using all of their chi becomes temporarily emotionless and unable to use chi-based effects, they are still alive, and are not the least bit physically tired from the chi itself. They will have lost much of their will to do things, but that is all.

Ki, on the other hand, is considerably more dangerous to use extensively. First off, as a purer form of energy, it is harder to control. As one handling nitroglycerin has to be more careful than one handling a bag of gunpowder, so is it with ki and chi. Second off, while chi can be absorbed, due to its emotional nature, ki is considerably more difficult to absorb. This means that, while someone on their guard can keep from being damaged by their own chi attacks, someone using ki needs to be very careful not to hurt themselves. Finally, ki, being the wielder's actual willpower, is extremely mentally draining. If someone were to use up their entire store of ki, they would have no will to live, and their body would immediately cease functioning properly. This, most likely, would result in death.

Section Two: On using chi.

Between chi and ki, chi is the more accessible of the two energies, as it can be called up by emotion, particularly focused emotion. On occasion, it can be expressed by those with absolutely no physical or mental training, if the emotion is strong enough. The most direct demonstration of this is the ability of those in particularly desperate straits to call upon superhuman reserves of strength or speed for longer than adrenaline has an effect on the body.

There are many uses for chi, as it is a highly flexible energy. In the end, of course, it is not quite proper to call it an energy, as it can be used as a semi-solid, but energy is the best and most comprehensible way to refer to it.

The most common expression of chi is involuntary. Whenever someone is focusing on generating chi, they will generally put out a battle aura, a faint glow or emanation around themselves, indicating that their body is generating more chi energy than is present in the resting state. Akane Tendou, for example, often generates a blue rage aura when irritated. Unfortunately, she seems to have no effective way to use this chi, resulting in its generally being wasted to further increase her battle aura.

While the chi in a battle aura is generally actually just floating around the system of its generator, chi can also be used for the express purpose of putting out a battle aura. This allows the user to do such things as make their aura visible intentionally, expand their battle aura beyond themselves, or achieve other similar effects. However, as a battle aura is largely an involuntary expression of chi, it takes a lot of chi do do anything in particular beyond making the aura larger or more intense.

Battle auras are very defining of their possessor. It can generally be assumed that the larger and more intense the battle aura, the more chi the creator has. Normally, battle auras are invisible to anyone not already experienced in using and sensing chi, but an especially intense battle aura, either due to raw power, or to energy being spent on making it detectable, can even be seen by everyday people. Also, the shape or form of a battle aura can be affected by the nature or emotions of the possessor. Someone with an especially strong self-identity may have a battle aura that vaguely resembles themselves, for instance. Usually, however, a battle aura takes the shape of flames rising off of the generator. This is largely due to the way the user thinks of their chi, however, and while flame-auras are most common, battle auras can easily be found in different forms, from swirling like water to simple spheres or geometric shapes. Also, if the battle aura's possessor has a particular emotion on which they base their chi more often than any other, that emotion will start to have an effect on the aura as well.

With that in mind, this seems to be a good place to note the specific effects of emotion on chi. While chi is ultimately a shapable energy, subject more than anything else to the directions of its generator, the emotion used in creating the chi still has effects on the form of the chi. Each emotion lends to its chi a particular color, and emotions that can be considered a variation on another emotion usually have special shades of that color.

There are four other qualities that emotion alters in chi. First is temperature. When let be, each emotion's chi has a natural temperature range that it takes on. This is the most difficult effect of emotion upon chi to alter, so most chi users generally leave it alone, preferring instead to use a different emotion of chi to attain particular temperatures. It is usually considered not worth the effort to alter the temperature of a particular emotion of chi. Regardless, chi is either cold, warm, or hot to the touch, though technically there is relatively little distinction between warm and hot chi. The primary differences are that hot chi is capable of igniting flammable materials, and hot chi tends to be uncomfortable for most beings to be in contact with (aside from its generator).

The second most difficult quality of chi to alter is its brightness. While most chi generates a certain degree of light when at an intensity to be visible, the majority of chi light is very bright, making it visible in broad daylight, and also useful for lighting dark rooms. A few emotions of chi are 'dark', not ever generating much light at all, and generally only visible with well-lit surroundings against which to contrast them. Used correctly, these emotions of chi can even reduce the lighting in an area.

The third emotion-based quality of chi is weight. This quality has less effect than the previous two, because if the person controlling the chi wants the chi to go up or down in particular, it will, regardless of its weight. However, many chi blasts or thrown-chi effects do not involve the chi's generator beyond the projection of the chi, so the blasts will have a particular tendency based on their weight. Heavy emotions of chi are denser than gas, though somewhat less dense than water, and will thus have a tendency to fall like a thrown ball. Light emotions of chi will tend to float upwards in the air, and are very useful for lifting things underwater.

The fourth significant quality of chi is texture. Again, this is largely controllable by the chi's generator, and chi is never sticky, rough, etcetera, without the generator's enforcement. The only two textures caused by particular emotions of chi are 'hard' and 'soft'. Chi that is 'soft' tends to flow like fluid around things, suffusing the environment. 'Hard' chi resists intrusion, often acting like a solid surface. Chi that is neutral in this respect acts more like a thick gel, solid to a point, but rather elastic.

Thus, we arrive at a sort of 'chi table'. Each line has three entries- the emotion generating the chi, the qualities of that chi, and the color that the chi will take.

Anger / Hot, Hard, Bright / Red

Lust / Hot, Bright / Fuschia

Love / Warm, Soft, Heavy / Pink

Joy / Soft, Light, Bright / Yellow

Depression / Cold, Heavy, Dark / Puce (yellow-green)

Confidence / Light, Bright / Gold

Jealousy / Cold, Hard, Bright / Green

Hunger / Hard, Dark / Brown

Rage / Hard, Hot, Bright / Electric Blue

Sorrow / Cold, Soft / Blue-green

Contentment / Warm, Soft, Dark / Gray

Tranquility / Warm, Soft, Light / White

Outrage / Hot, Hard, Light / Orange

Dispassion / Cold, Hard, Heavy / Sky Blue

Certain emotions of chi have particular emphasis on particular aspects- dispassion chi is particularly cold, rage chi is especially bright, and love chi is very soft.

Thus, we have the limits of chi, clearly defined. Just as important, if not moreso, however, are the potentialities of chi. Beyond the reflexive battle aura, there is a near infinite range of things that can be accomplished with chi, despite its limitations. The most simple and easy intentional use of chi is to enhance the body.

The most basic form of enhancement is, of course, to improve the body's resistance to damage. This seems, at first, to be completely in error, as the basic use of chi allows a person to strike harder. This, however, involves a fallacy of perception. If anyone ever did strike with all the strength they could bring to bear, without chi enhancement, they would likely injure their own hand, foot, etcetera. The human body is capable of exerting more force over a short period of time than its own structure can withstand. Using chi to enhance the body's resistance to damage, however, can push the limits of what the body can withstand up to meet what it can exert.

The next form of enhancement, of course, is to increase the amount of force exerted by the body upon its environment. This is achieved by increasing the speed at which muscles contract, thus increasing the speed of limb movement. This needs to be balanced with the first form, or the chi user risks injuring themselves much as explained in the previous paragraph. This allows the user to strike harder, inflicting more damage, but also permits higher and longer jumps, greater lifting power, and faster motions, up to the point where they match the speed at which the chi user can mentally process their environment.

Following naturally from the second form is the third- increasing the speed at which the mind functions. With an increased processing speed, the mind can control the body at higher speeds. This is considerably more difficult than the previous three forms of chi use, much as each is more than the previous ones. However, where the previous three- battle aura, damage resistance, and improved force- are each a step apart, this form of self-enhancement is several steps up, despite being an instinctive next step.

The final basic form of self-enhancement does not fit in the same 'ladder' as the others. This is enhancement of the senses. There are numerous ways to achieve such effects, some working only on certain senses, others working on all of the senses.

There are other methods for enhancing the body's capabilities with chi, but these are more specific, and some are highly esoteric. The remainder of the uses of chi are outside of the body. These are where the emotional properties of chi take center stage, and are also the much more noticable methods.

Chi projection is only capable with large stores of chi, thus mandating that one be at least practiced in the use of chi in other manners, if not expert. This is why it is so rare for those not practiced in some sort of combat to be able to use chi: the most basic uses are generally only found in martial arts. Without considerable practice in the basic uses, not enough chi will be generated to function in any of the advanced uses.

Chi projection can take on many forms. The most basic form of this is the chi blast, of which there are two grades. The lower grade of chi blast requires less energy, but the higher grade is more effective and more flexible.

Lower-grade chi blasts use the chi to bind together a mass of air, which usually takes on a ball or slightly more aerodynamic shape, and throw it at the target. This is capable of bludgeoning the target, but does not work so well against fluids, or against anything significantly tougher than wood. There is also a minor explosive aspect to this form of chi attack, as the chi releases from the air on impact, blasting away from the impact point.

High-grade chi blasts take considerably more effort, largely for the simple reason that they consist of pure chi, rather than a mass of chi-bound air. These blasts usually take on spheroid shapes out of reflexive habit from those used to using lower-grade chi blasts, but can also be seen in any of a number of other shapes. The kind of damage inflicted varies likewise. Standard is bludgeoning and explosive, much as a low-grade chi blast, only on a larger scale. However, an especially focused chi blast can puncture or slice things, depending on its shape. An excellent example of a highly effective high-grade chi blast is the Kienzan, also known as the 'Destructo Disk', as used by Kuririn. Its flatness allows it to shear through nearly anything, as well as making it highly aerodynamic, thus requiring less energy to push it through the air. The spinning motion keeps the chi, so long as it is bound together, in a disc shape, and further aids the cutting effect.

Due to the ability of chi to act like energy, solid, or fluid depending on the will of its generator, there is a wide variety of attacks that can be performed with it. It is not, however, limited to offensive use. A solid plane or disc of chi can be used as a sort of shield, and it can be infused into a mass and used to levitate it. However, controlling chi once it is no longer attatched to one's aura requires a considerable extra expenditure of the energy, and thus, many chi-users will settle for flinging multiple projectiles, rather than persisting with a single one until it hits.

One method around this problem is the semi-beam form taken on by the Kamehameha. By maintaining a constant wave of chi from the projectile to the controller, it takes considerably less chi to influence the motion of the projectile. On the other hand, this leaves the controller vulnerable, as they must remain in place, throwing forth more and more chi to power the beam as it becomes longer and longer. As yet, no complete solution exists to avoid the problem.

Regardless, the ability of chi to take on any shape desired by its controller permits an incredible degree of flexibility, although the controller will need to be at least a little bit imaginative to come up with a workable shape. For this reason, flexibility of mind is at least as important as practice using chi.

There is one major vulnerability that chi has that is not shared by any other form of 'special energy'. The fact that chi is powered by emotion means that someone other than the generator who is attuned to that emotion, either by feeling it particularly strongly, or by focusing on it, can basically ignore any of the chi projected at them or, with sufficient practice, absorb it to increase their own stores of chi.

Section three: On using Ki.

Aside from previously-discussed matters of effectiveness and danger in usage, there are actually relatively few differences between emotion-based chi and pure ki. The primary one, of course, is that ki, not being diluted by emotion, does not take on particular aspects. Rather, its natural state is fairly neutral, white, and flowing.

Being undiluted by emotion, of course, makes ki much more difficult to produce in significant quantities. By the time a chi-user can produce chi blasts for use as anything other than a desparation or final attack, they may be lucky enough to have almost enough ki to produce a very faint glow of battle aura not extending beyond their own body. On the other hand, similar to the difference between doing curls with a ten-pound weight and doing curls with a forty-pound weight, practicing with ki improves a user's ability to produce both ki and chi considerably faster and with far higher upper limits.

Furthermore, while ki is more difficult and expensive to one's willpower to generate, it is just as easy to keep a 'control link' open to it as it is to keep one to a mass of chi, and since a ki user has larger amounts of energy at their disposal, they effectively have an easier time maintaining control over it. That said, it is still more difficult to gain control over ki in the first place and to actually direct it, so it more or less balances out in the end.

Finally, ki, when left uncontrolled, seeks to disperse to the same level as chi. However, since there is more energy in it, the results are rather more violent and widespread than those achieved when chi goes uncontrolled.

Section four: Where it comes from. 

In the end, ki and chi boil down to a physical or semiphysical manifestation of a person's will for something to happen. Thus, the more powerful a person's will, the more forceful their personality, the more ki or chi they will generate at the base of it. With training, of course, anyone generating chi can improve their ability to do so, and anyone is capable of storing chi and ki, as well. There are limits, of course, to how much chi or ki a body can withstand containing or producing. Too much, and a body will likely rip itself apart. This is why physical conditioning is as important to the use of ki and chi as emotional power and willpower.

Ki, which also serves as the basis for chi, is generated by everything that has a mind. Its degree is determined by willpower, which goes a long way towards explaining the lack of chi attacks in, for instance, platypi. (Or, is that 'platypuses'? MS Word seems to think so.) However, there is more to it than that. Chi is constantly generated by all living things. Unfortunately, there are limits to how much chi a body can store. Thus, every animal is constantly 'leaking' both ki and chi. The amounts are miniscule, but they can certainly add up. Furthermore, even plants have a tiny quantity of ki, though their generation levels are so low as to be almost nonexistant. Regardless, this leaked ki suffuses into an environment slowly, but surely. Thus, a home, a tavern, even a whole city, can, over time, develop its own ki flow, thus lending it something of a personality. Furthermore, whole planets have ki flows, though they are slow and not especially intense. (It can be supposed that the 'Lifestream' extant in the Final Fantasy series of games is an expression of this ki flow, or perhaps it is simply a flow of lifeforce. It may even be both.)

Also, for this reason, if a ki sense is developed, a person or, indeed, any animal, can learn to detect the distinct ki and/or chi signatures of individuals at range, as well as the amount of chi being generated. There have even been machines capable of detecting this leaked chi. Humans are known to have a very rudimentary chi sense, often passed off as 'the willies' or 'gut instinct'. There are likely other races with this sense built in, though many races completely lack this extra sense. With practice, this sense can be developed, or even brought out in those who do not naturally have it. If it is used long and regularly enough, this sense can become unbelievably accurate, permitting activity even in conditions where all other senses are useless (fighting wearing baggy corduroy in a deep limestone cave where a skunk recently died, during an earthquake with firecrackers going off while blindfolded and numb from cold).

One major reason that different individuals have distinct ki signatures is that ki is constantly flowing throughout the body, much like blood. While certain key points in the ki flow are always the same, at least relative to the remainder of the person's body, the flows themselves are slightly different in every individual, much like a fingerprint. This constant flow of ki helps to keep the body functioning as well.

The other reason behind the distinction is the differences in peoples' dispositions. People who regularly become angry will have that 'flavoring' their chi signature, and people who act dispassionately towards everything will have that altering their chi signature. This also affects locations, which is a part of why so many people feel ill at ease around places like mental wards- the sheer chaos of the chi residue left by the inpatients triggers the chi sense in a bad way.

Thus, while chi is in practically everything, its primary generators are animals- things with minds. Willpower and physical condition are both essential to the ability to use ki and chi regularly. Effectiveness is partially provided by these, but also by imagination, which grants inspiration to use ki and chi in new or different ways. So, despite the limitations, use of this energy remains as much, if not more, an art than a science.

Section five: Exceptions.

There are, of course, exceptions to every set of rules, and the rules on ki are no different. The known exception is to the limit of chi that a body can continuously produce or contain, which limit is different for every race, with slight individual variations. The exception occurs primarily in the universes where one Son Gokuu is present. This exception is the chi-transforming races.

Normally, when a body produces or tries to contain more ki or chi than it can safely do, the energy goes out of control, ripping the body apart and killing the erstwhile user. However, it is possible, through experience with ki control, to alter the ki flows of one's body to accept more ki than is normally possible. It is also possible to alter the ki flows of one's body to limit the production and storage of ki. Both of these result in... interesting things.

The first extension of ki control is notable in the Saiyan race. The Saiyajin are naturally higher producers of ki than average, and are also naturally attuned to their own ki flows, which permits them greater control of their own ki. When a Saiyajin advances to the point of generating more ki than their body can safely handle, which amount, by the way, is already ludicrously high, their ki flows will be instinctively altered by their subconscious. This alteration in the flows of ki causes the body to react by changing, so as to more properly fit the flow of ki. The upshot of this is the ability of Saiyans to transform up, into the state known as Super Saiyan. Further modification of chi flows allows the states of Super Saiyan two and three. In some realities, it has been pushed further, to include such levels as Super Saiyan four and five, Ultra Saiyan one through three, Holy Saiyan, and Hyper Saiyan- though these extra degrees tend to vary in nomenclature and nature from one reality to another.

The second extension of ki control is exhibited primarily in the Kuurajin, most noticably in use by the one known as Fureiza. Some races have upper limits of ki generation and storage so far in excess of even that of the Saiyajin that no limit is known. These races have their own ki-based problem, however- so long as their ki flows remain in the proper configuration, they have a lower limit of ki generation that is a set distance below their current maximum. Thus, members of the Kuurajin must constantly be concentrating on their chi to avoid accidentally damaging or outright obliterating their surroundings, which tends to be a very inconvenient thing. Nearly as inconvenient, however, is the inability to focus on anything but one's own ki very well. So, Kuurajin of high power must alter their ki flows to reduce the amount of energy generated and stored. This, again, causes the body to alter itself to fit the flow of ki, resulting in a lower-power state. Once this lower-power state reaches that problem point, however, another alteration in ki flows becomes necessary. And so it continues, resulting in things such as Fureiza's four different forms. This has an important advantage not inherant to the other type of transformation, in that training affects both power levels the same, and since it is easier to challenge one's body and chi when one has less of them, training in this lower-powered state is actually easier, and repeated iterations can result in an incredible improvement of the original form. It is, indeed, fortunate that the Kuurajin are not very inventive, or they would have noticed this and taken advantage of it to out-power anything even conceived of so far.

Thus, the first method results in a person 'transforming up' as they reach for greater heights of power, and the other method actually involves 'de-transforming' as the person pulls themselves up from the depths. While only a few races have actually transformed, it is not actually impossible that any race is capable of a transformation of one kind or the other. Too few races have plumbed the depths of physical and ki power that fully to say for sure whether the ability to transform is indeed racial or not. If it is not, then it is fully certain that the pre-existing ability of Saiyajin to transform into giant apes certainly makes it easier on their bodies to develop transformative ability than it would be for a race that, at base, has only a single physical form.

All of this said, there is still an incredible range of possibilities for anyone with the ability to manipulate chi and/or ki, leaving it still as much an art form as a science, and thus, very much similar to martial arts- potentially infinite in variety, despite the presence of practical limits.

Part Two: Magic Section One: What is this stuff, anyways? 

The actual nature and functionality of magic under any given conditions are highly debatable. For one thing, there exist numerous realities wherein magic is wholly impossible. Any inhabitant of these realities would naturally have no idea as to the nature of magic or its potential, often to the point of denying its existence at all. On the other hand, you have those realities where magic is so commonplace that everyone knows a few bits of it just for getting by, and the idea of magic failing to work is met with total confusion.

This is not much aided by the fact that in different realities where it is present, magic works on different bases and sources. Suffice to say, detailing all of the many potential sources and flows of magic and its use would take up far more time and space than is worth devoting to it.

Much more comprehensible, however, is the actual nature of magic. Where Ki and Chi both fall under certain natural laws, being a part of 'nature' (effectively a Fifth Elemental Force), Magic, by nature, exists by warping or even outright breaking the rules by which said forces govern themselves. Suffice to say, this puts magic and magical studies in a completely different category than sciences, and a different one even than Ki and Chi. Magic CAN be organized, however, in most cases, and as such, can be treated as its own form of art/science.

Section Two: Categorically speaking....

Typically of something whose very definition involves 'breaking the rules', magic fails to fall as a whole under a single, rigid (or even moderately flexible) set of rules. Fortunately, while it creates effects by altering or breaking rules, the effects themselves are generally forced to follow the rules. It is this, in fact, that causes magic to work- otherwise all magic would consist of creating a reality break and hoping that the utter chaos or perfect order that spewed forth would create the desired effect.

Thus, while magic breaks rules in causing things to happen, the things it causes to happen follow the rules. A rock created from nothing by magic will still fall like a rock, water created by magic is typically wet, magical flame causes burning and generates heat, etcetera. Mind, all of these qualities can be nullified through use of further magic anyways.


End file.
